Asian Parents and Pressure

[EvilYoda]

bwahahahaha, she got an A- in music. She should've just been laughed at, in the asian community by her I'm sure she's like 10th chair violin...that should be punishment enough.

I might have hated my life and my parents at some points early on, but by mid-high-school I was able to recognize the benefits of how I was raised. I was raised with class, respect, etc etc and I know I'll be a better adult due to my parents. If I had been allowed to live how I wanted to, I would be far worse off now.

I won't be quite as strict all the time with my kids, but I'm still contemplating the beatings...those sure did help me 🙂

 

[Juno]

I am of Korean Heritage and my parents ARE NOT THAT strict, but they want me to maintain higher than average grades in college. So far I'm carrying a 2.4gpa, lol.

*scoffs* I have a IQ score of 137...my parents thought 137 was too low; they wanted me to score above 150. 😕

 

[MySoS]

I am half Asian, and even my Asian parent is very strict. I am expected to have over a 3.2 ever quarter in college. She view Cs as being Fs (failure). Asian parents ( at least the ones I know) often use derogatory language to their children calling them stupid and retarded when they don't do as expected. Sad really.

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Albis
haha i call one of my friend's the white devil

but yeah, first hand experience will teach someone lots

His parents called me that to my face. He told them to shut up before I did. :Q

- M4H

haha. thats awesome!
back in HS, when one of my friends (korean) went to another one of my friend's (white) house, his old grandparents (the white racist in sorta joking way, but really nice people type) opened the door and yelled out, "Hey Joe! Chop Suey's here to see you"

 

[Darthvoy]

I remember when I was in High School, I had an Asian friend who got a B in a class. That same day, he wanted me to go to his house for a little bit after school b/c he didn't want to feel the wrath of his parents right away, or at least that's what we thought. When we got to his house, his mom was waiting for him on the porch. All I saw was evil and anger in her eyes. She told me to leave, and my friend looked at me as if he was going to die. That look still haunts me to this day.... Who knows what she did to him, all I can say is that he was never the same, or never got anything less than an A after that.

 

[UglyCasanova]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: UglyCasanova
Lol, all of this over an A-. Jesus, let kids live their life damnit. How many times do you get to be in high school?? Life would be utter hell if I were living under these hardline asian parents. I rebelled against my slack white parents enough as it is. 😀

Once, and THAT'S why you need to put most of your effort into the studies. 😛 So many people encourage high schoolers to slack off, do stupid things, and pay more attention to their love life than the education. It wasn't until this recent century, perhaps even just the last few decades, that school became a social hangout rather than a place to mentally mature before going into the real world.

I am having much more fun as an adult than I ever did in high school. Not everyone enjoys high school, even us that got bad grades. Not everyone can be in the popular click, not everyone can be on the honor roll, or be a joc, or be a musician, or a singer, or an av specialist. Not everyone ends up with friends to hang out with, not everyone is a good influence on everyone else. Leave school to the studies, stop worrying about all this social mischief.

Studying is for college (well at least it is supposed to be 😛). I'm not saying fail out of high school, definitely get good grades, but there is so much more to your high school education than just trig problems and english papers. I was never the popular kid back in high school, but I still had a great time. Why? Because I didn't spend all day and night inside studying and playing video games. Kids need to go out, play some sports (anything; running, soccer, swimming, etc. You don't have to be the football star, but some sort of sports activity is definitely a good thing imo), get to know the opposite sex, party it up some and just enjoy the only time of the life where you really have zero real responsibilities. All of that constitutes an education that books cannot teach you and much more valuable than any A on a transcript.

 

[konakona]

the only time i got yelled at about grades is when i majorly screwd up in my first year of college, and i know i so deserved it; its not that they dont care about my education either, breaking their backs trying to support my study at a college in the US. they are just well aware of the fact i am a type of guy with high inner locus of control, unlikely to be motivated by having my rights restricted and such.

good thing i got my acts together and now working hard(er) with my gpa on a steady rise.

neither of my parents nor i was born in the states, go figure... i guess i am previliged to have parents who are libearals at heart 🙂

 

[J0hnny]

Originally posted by: ITCHY96

Originally posted by: J0hnny
Not when I was there. I don't know if they do now. Some of the most scrawniest and nerdiest kids went to Townsend, but it must have been worst in Stuy.

when did you graduate? I graduated Bowne in 98 and back then i remembered alot of Bowne kids harassing the Harris kids

Class of 99 for High School.

 

[Svnla]

Now you guys/gals (born in the US) know why us immigrant kids (especially Asians) are doing so well in school. Only As or some case, Bs are allowed in our house. Parents and peers pressure can do wonder for your study habit.

I graduated with a MBA after I had a BS because my company paid for it but also because my mom can brag with other moms in the neighborhood .....**see, look at this diploma, my son is a MBA grad from a good school in America*** It sure made her smile.

 

[Ricochet]

Asian parents like that are not too realistic. I'm glad my parents loosened up a lot when they came to the US.

From first hand experience, the booksmart, straight-A types do not climb the corporate ladder in the real world. They make good number crunchers, do the technical work, and research type work. People with interpersonal skills and good looks who go out with the boss to have a beer have a much better chance of coveting the higher paying management type positions.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: MySoS
I am half Asian, and even my Asian parent is very strict. I am expected to have over a 3.2 ever quarter in college. She view Cs as being Fs (failure). Asian parents ( at least the ones I know) often use derogatory language to their children calling them stupid and retarded when they don't do as expected. Sad really.

What's really sad is that they are partially motivated by disgrace. They do not want to be seen as failing parents among their peers. You hear your parents talking to other parents (in the family) about how my kid did this and that... now that's sad...

Let a kid be a kid - this is America. If it takes beatings and punishments (like being locked in a room and starved), then is all the praising (when they've done well on a test) really worth it ? Is the bragging to other parents really all that satisfying when you punish the kid so much that they cry over pain instead of points ? That's not right. Let the kid work to their potential through rewards, not punishment.

 

[MadPeriot]

Originally posted by: rh71
Asian parents are living the Asian lifestyle they had back in Asia yet they come to the US hoping to impose the same beliefs on their American children (who are exposed to a lot more). It's an unfair situation for the child. I bet the suicide rates (for this particular reason) are higher here than in Asia.

On the other side of things, you have some American parents here who kick their kids out the second they hit 18.

How about a happy medium ?

I think when Asian parents moved to the states they are more strict then where they were from. Being a minority in a country where don't understand the culture and having the language barrier cause them to be more responsive for their children to study harder. My dad pushed my brothers and I to college and growing up as asian americans wasn't easy, which I can relate to that letter.

 

[eLiu]

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I cant tell you how many times I have heard of this nonsense before... Asian parents are MESSED UP!

not ALL asian parents, lol. My parents are asian; they pretty much left me alone all through high school...like they would drive me around before I could get my license but that was it. And now I'm attending one of the best universities in the nation...just goes to show over-pressuring doesn't really work, lol.

 

[PoPPeR]

my parents are sorta wannabe parents. For the most part, we had a lot of freedom and they didnt' pay attention to our grades (as obvious by my 2.9 high school GPA), but every 5 or 6 months they'd have a fit of asian-parent-itis and go crazy over our work ethics and studying habits and become the anal retentive asian parents that everyone thinks about.

 

[Hammer]

those parents sound like the Araz family from 24

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: eLiu

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I cant tell you how many times I have heard of this nonsense before... Asian parents are MESSED UP!

not ALL asian parents, lol. My parents are asian; they pretty much left me alone all through high school...like they would drive me around before I could get my license but that was it. And now I'm attending one of the best universities in the nation...just goes to show over-pressuring doesn't really work, lol.

What generation American are you ? How long have your parents been in the US ?

 

[xospec1alk]

Originally posted by: ITCHY96
hey J0hnny does the Bowne kids pick on the kids from your school

they didn't pick on us perse....but the THHS track was located behind bowne's vegetable garden, and several times when my gym class was running on the track, they're chuck tomatoes at us....friggin turds....

 

[DaWhim]

my parents aren't the traditional ones. having a big family helps too! (6 of us 😛)

my teenage rebellion kicked in early, it was around 13 y/o and I got arrested too. my parents are just very different. they really don't care much about their kids.

 

[RegularK]

Originally posted by: DPmaster
Yep this is pretty typical of Asian parents. Sounded like my parents when I was still in school. I had to get at least a 94 or above in all of my classes when I was attending HS. It wasn't so fun when you're taking AP English, AP Calculus, AP History, etc. all in one semester. If I made below a 94, I was punished (no TV, no games, no going to the mall, etc.).

remember when dad made you whip out your report card your senior year even though you were in the Top Ten??! hahaah

Edit: My mom didn't really care about grades all that much (she was brought up in Vietnam as the oldest daughter so she spent most of her time helping out around the house rather than in school). My dad was very focused and concerned about grades. Often, I'd bring home my report card and my dad wouldn't be satisfied with 97s and above. And as MySoS said, he thought that belittling us and calling us stupid would push us harder *but it didn't* My parents really don't care about grades anymore. Don't ask/don't tell is the newfound policy in our home.

 

[Train]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: Albis
i'm asian and i know what it's like

just deal with it and enjoy college

I thoroughly enjoyed morally corrupting my Korean roommate.

Sorry, overprotective Mommy and Daddy - your son got taken in by the White Devil, what with the drinking, the drugs, and the vast numbers of promiscuous women. :evil:

- M4H

he he, my soph year roomate was from Thailand, super strict parents, by the end of the year he was in a frat, had lost his virginity (many times over) had alcohol poisoning (his parents later got the hospital bill, with my poor attempt to forge his dads signature on it) expirimented with several drugs, discovered the wonderful world of playstation, made his first prank call, cheated on his first exam, saw his first stripper, got his first lap dance, started smoking ciggarettes, went to a casino and lost $300 that his dad gave him for rent. and a bunch of other stuff I cant think of... And to top it off he somehow managed to pull a 3.7 GPA, (though he got in trouble for that, he usually pulled a 4.0)

 

[DanTMWTMP]

eh? sounds like normal parents to me? She should just wait 'till college. sheesh.

who feeds her? who wants the best out of her? who gives her a home? who pays for her stuff and her private schooling? her parents. she will have to follow whatever they have to say.

and the laws of US about getting beat by parents is stupid. it should be reformed so that only the extreme forms of child abuse, like getting beat for no reason, should be dealt with.

 

[gopunk]

this girl is kind of dumb if you ask me... basically she is thinking about risking getting beaten / grounded, for what? the only reason she gives for wanting to break curfew is to defy her parents. :roll:

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
My experience says:

Good high school grades translates into getting into a good college.

Good grades in college translates into either getting the job you want, getting into
the professional or grad school you want.

Good grades in a professional or grad school plus good research gets you the good job, the internship, the position at at the university of your choice.

Is this worth only going out one day a week? Back when I was in high school I did not
think so. But now I am an adult, I think it is worth it.

I think you will benefit from watching the new season of the Apprentice... book smarts vs. street smarts. Success isn't necessarily determined by how hard you work at school leading to getting a good job (the corporate type).

If you know your stuff and are passionate about something, you can be as successful pursuing that path. You can be smart without getting 95s on exams.

I think studying hard 6 days a week for HS/(undergrad) college is a bit excessive (I'm 27 BTW and have had success without great grades).

you miss the point... obviously there are other ways to success than working hard at school, but by working hard at school, you are pretty much guaranteed a minimum level of success.

 

[ReiAyanami]

she should be grateful. if her parents were back in asia, she woulda been aborted!!

:roll:
if the author wanted to make her feel better, the response could have included how no matter what shiz she put up wit its still a whole world better than living in whatever 3rd world country her parents came from

 

[BaboonGuy]

Originally posted by: ReiAyanami
she should be grateful. if her parents were back in asia, she woulda been aborted!!

:roll:
if the author wanted to make her feel better, the response could have included how no matter what shiz she put up wit its still a whole world better than living in whatever 3rd world country her parents came from

So should we tell homeless people who live on $6 a day that they should be happy because $6 is the wage of a Bill Gates in some 3rd world country?