Are You Raising Another Man's Child?
- Thread starter George P Burdell
- Start date
oh, ooh the racist police are comming. Al sharpcunt is going to sue your butt off.
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Post another one like that, and I'll boot your butt off the forums for awhile.
AnandTech Moderator
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
Exactly - and obviously the real father knows, he's there cheering. But what about the kid? Does the kid know? Men's Health is blocked here.
Originally posted by: gwrober
Exactly - and obviously the real father knows, he's there cheering. But what about the kid? Does the kid know? Men's Health is blocked here.
The guy at least deserves the truth/honesty. It really sucks to be him...
That sucks.
I'd like to think that after having raised a child from birth, it wouldnt matter to me if I found out it wasnt mine (from a standpoint of loving the child), but until you are in the situation, its hard to say.
I think what would bother me is the fact that my wife lied about something like that. I think I could keep raising the child the same way as my own, but the wife would probably have to go.
I'd like to think that after having raised a child from birth, it wouldnt matter to me if I found out it wasnt mine (from a standpoint of loving the child), but until you are in the situation, its hard to say.
I think what would bother me is the fact that my wife lied about something like that. I think I could keep raising the child the same way as my own, but the wife would probably have to go.
theknight571
Platinum Member
- Mar 23, 2001
- 2,896
- 2
- 81
I agree... I think I would be more bothered by the wife's actions than with the fact the kid isn't really mine.
That article is really good. There was one in there about a guy who after his divorce was final, he found out his daughter was his after 18 yrs. She wont speak to him either, like it was his fault. Darn shame.
To answer your question. Yes. Yes, I am. The moment of truth was the single worst moment of my life, and it haunts me every day.
Would you have any legal right to see the child after the marriage ended? Technically you might still have partial legal guardianship after the divorce, but it sees like the biological parents could easily dispute that in court.
MrPickins
Diamond Member
- May 24, 2003
- 9,124
- 787
- 126
Very often men are found to be financially responsible for a child even when paternity tests show that he is not the father. I'd like to think that the courts would allow the man at least visitation rights with the child also.
From what I gather, the name on the birth cert. is what is legally significant.
God forbid I ever end up in a situation like this. But if it did I would never discard a kid I had raised as my own child because the mother was a whore.
Long story...
My wife and I had an open marriage. The only rules were she had to tell me about it and she had to be careful. There's obviously a lot of details in there I am leaving out but really the wherefore and the why of our open marriage is another story entirely.
She calls me one day crying saying she just took a pregnancy test and she was pregnant. I left work and on the way home was trying to figure out why she was so upset since we had been trying for going on 4 years with no success. At first her explanation was that she was worried about the health of the baby because she had unknowingly gone to the tanning bed and had some alcohol. However, the level at which she was upset far exceeded that. Finally the lightbulb went off and I said "You don't think it's mine do you" and that is of course why she was so upset. We looked back at the time of conception it could have been either of us as the father. I was really anxious to be a father but definitely wanted it to be my blood. However, it was our bed we made so we had to lie in it and make the best of it. I decided regardless of the outcome I would raise the child as if it was my own.
When she was born there was a connection as if she was indeed my own. There was of course that doubt during the first year as we both tried to determine if she looked at all like me. Most people who saw pictures would say..."she must look like her mother" which always made me cringe. At about a year we had a paternity test done and a few weeks later I got a call with the results over the phone...they verified who I was and then said "99.9% chance you are not the biological father". My heart sank. But I had already built such an intense closeness to her that it did not affect the way I felt...she was my daughter. Our two closest friends are the only two that know us that know about our secret. Everyone else just assumes she looks more like her mother. An odd coincidence is that we are both left handed so that helps. We had our second daughter 3 years later and she is a spitting image of me, especially when I was her age and she looks almost nothing like her sister.
So far it has all turned out ok...I have two daughters that I love with all my heart but one day I am going to have to explain the situation and that will be hard on all of us I am sure.
Cliff Notes:
Not Available...read the whole story.
My wife and I had an open marriage. The only rules were she had to tell me about it and she had to be careful. There's obviously a lot of details in there I am leaving out but really the wherefore and the why of our open marriage is another story entirely.
She calls me one day crying saying she just took a pregnancy test and she was pregnant. I left work and on the way home was trying to figure out why she was so upset since we had been trying for going on 4 years with no success. At first her explanation was that she was worried about the health of the baby because she had unknowingly gone to the tanning bed and had some alcohol. However, the level at which she was upset far exceeded that. Finally the lightbulb went off and I said "You don't think it's mine do you" and that is of course why she was so upset. We looked back at the time of conception it could have been either of us as the father. I was really anxious to be a father but definitely wanted it to be my blood. However, it was our bed we made so we had to lie in it and make the best of it. I decided regardless of the outcome I would raise the child as if it was my own.
When she was born there was a connection as if she was indeed my own. There was of course that doubt during the first year as we both tried to determine if she looked at all like me. Most people who saw pictures would say..."she must look like her mother" which always made me cringe. At about a year we had a paternity test done and a few weeks later I got a call with the results over the phone...they verified who I was and then said "99.9% chance you are not the biological father". My heart sank. But I had already built such an intense closeness to her that it did not affect the way I felt...she was my daughter. Our two closest friends are the only two that know us that know about our secret. Everyone else just assumes she looks more like her mother. An odd coincidence is that we are both left handed so that helps. We had our second daughter 3 years later and she is a spitting image of me, especially when I was her age and she looks almost nothing like her sister.
So far it has all turned out ok...I have two daughters that I love with all my heart but one day I am going to have to explain the situation and that will be hard on all of us I am sure.
Cliff Notes:
Not Available...read the whole story.
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