Are we really this stupid?

[pcgeek11]

I'm not. Not so sure about some...

 

[CPA]

Ah, so you were just trollin' then? :sneaky:

Actually, they least they could have done is come up with a recipe that was intriguing, not something any 5 year old could put together without instructions.

 

[her209]

Pardon me sir, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

 

[pcgeek11]

I don't like making fancy sandwiches, it's too complicated. That's why I usually just eat out or if I make my own, I make a nut spread sandwich.

I don't want to know how to make a " Nut Spread " sandwich.

 

[nanette1985]

I don't want to know how to make a " Nut Spread " sandwich.

And I sure as heck don't want to bite into one.

 

[BoomerD]

Just opened up a package of Private Selection (Kroger "Premium" Brand) Sliced Honey Smoked Turkey Breast. On the back side of the container top reads:

Sandwich Ingredients:
Makes 1 Sandwich
2 slices whole wheat bread
5 or 6 slice Private Selection honey turkey
2 slices Private Selection pepperjack cheese
2 slices tomato
1 lettuce leaf
2 TBSP Private Selection sweet and hot mustard

Method:
1. Place the Turkey (yes, the capitalized it) on one of the slices of bread, and then spread one tablespoon of mustard on the Turkey.
2. Add the cheese, tomato, and lettuce.
3. Spread the rest of the mustard and place on the top piece of bread (no period, this time...hmmm...)


Okay, I'm all for neat recipes on food packages, including interesting twists on favorite staples, but have we become so dumb that we need to be told how to make a basic sandwich, including where to place the second piece of bread?

You've been on this site for 10 years and need to ask that question?

Sometimes, I'm surprised that the warning labels and "instructions" aren't more detailed than they already are...and that they're not printed on "paper-cut proof paper" to prevent the truly stupid from hurting themselves while reading the directions and warning labels.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

Yes. Especially younger folks. If it doesn't come out of a package or go in the microwave they don't know what to do with it. Two young girls at work are like that, every day it's lunchables or lean cuisine/hot pocket. And they wonder why they aren't married yet.

You are an irrational caricature of conservative thought; I think you are a left-wing shill planted here to make anyone to the right of left of center look like a baboon.

I like the wrong-directions for the pop-tarts, placed there to avoid the liability issues involved with people being f*ing stupid. I'm ready for hot-pockets to demand that they only be cooked until they are 'warm'.

 

[Jeff7]

I noticed two things after reading this thread:
1) The bottle of hand soap in the bathroom has instructions for use on it.
2) Toilet paper packaging lacks any manner of instructions or useful diagrams.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I have a jar of peanuts that actually says "Allergy alert! Contains peanuts" on it. this is probably because some idiot alergic ate peanuts and sued the company that packaged them. Now they have to put such a silly warning to protect themselves from moron lawsuit happy people.

 

[rivan]

2 TBSP Private Selection sweet and hot mustard

Is this some cleverly veiled reference to The Bay Specifically (for) Pirates?

 

[Fritzo]

I had to call their customer service number. I followed their sandwich instructions and the sandwich came out completely wrong- it kept falling apart and it was MUCH too tall to take a bite out of it. After working on the phone with a tech from India for 45 minutes, it turns out that the bread has to be placed on the place so the WIDEST side is facing down. I was putting it on its side (just the way it comes out of the package) and placing all of the ingredients on top!

They're going to add into future instructions "Remove bread from bag and turn slice 90° clockwise, then place on plate."

Good thing we got that resolved. I almost starved to death!

 

[amdhunter]

Ham > Turkey

 

[lxskllr]

They're going to add into future instructions "Remove bread from bag and turn slice 90° clockwise, then place on plate."

That'll make it worse with my preferred rye bread. That method will add ~20% to the sandwich height.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Sure you are, you've been to a Ralph's right?
Same company, different name.

I generally don't buy prepackaged sandwich meats and cheeses.

 

[CPA]

Ham > Turkey

So wrong it's not even funny.

 

[GrumpyMan]

Just opened up a package of Private Selection (Kroger "Premium" Brand) Sliced Honey Smoked Turkey Breast. On the back side of the container top reads:

Sandwich Ingredients:
Makes 1 Sandwich
2 slices whole wheat bread
5 or 6 slice Private Selection honey turkey
2 slices Private Selection pepperjack cheese
2 slices tomato
1 lettuce leaf
2 TBSP Private Selection sweet and hot mustard

Method:
1. Place the Turkey (yes, the capitalized it) on one of the slices of bread, and then spread one tablespoon of mustard on the Turkey.
2. Add the cheese, tomato, and lettuce.
3. Spread the rest of the mustard and place on the top piece of bread (no period, this time...hmmm...)


Okay, I'm all for neat recipes on food packages, including interesting twists on favorite staples, but have we become so dumb that we need to be told how to make a basic sandwich, including where to place the second piece of bread?

Wow with that wall of text on the label I would probably freeze up and just start eating the turkey plain, in a hypnotic state, wondering why am I here? What am I doing? Someone wake me up.....:whiste:

 

[KidNiki1]

yes, we apparently are

also Turkey >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Chicken>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Ham

 

[KlokWyze]

also Turkey >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Chicken>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Ham

The type of meat (all the animals are tasty 😛) almost doesn't matter to me when considering the brand. Boar's Head or Dietz & Watson. Preferably the former. Fuck that private select house brand shit. You pay like $1 more a pound and get superior flavor, quality, freshness, etc.

 

[Jeff7]

I have a jar of peanuts that actually says "Allergy alert! Contains peanuts" on it. this is probably because some idiot alergic ate peanuts and sued the company that packaged them. Now they have to put such a silly warning to protect themselves from moron lawsuit happy people.

Probably the way the law is written - anything that contains peanuts in any manner has to have the label, even if the product is called "peanuts."

Though I guess we do have products that don't contain anything of what they're called.
Grape drink? Not a molecule of grape-related anything in it - just good old artificial flavors.
Tastes like vanilla? Might just be castoreum. 😱 (Go ahead and look that one up. Mmmmmm.)

And there's still things that say "Made with whole grain!" Then you read the ingredients, and the whole wheat flour falls close to the end of the list, somewhere after the leavening agents. Sometimes "made with whole grain" might as well mean "At least one sack of whole grain flour was present in the same room as this bread."

 

[sandorski]

Opened a jar of jam last night with the message, "Refrigerate after opening". A perfectly reasonable message IMO. Something clicked in my mind though: A line of Anorexia/Bolemia Food Products, with the message< "Regurgitate after eating".

 

[Fausto]

Just opened up a package of Private Selection (Kroger "Premium" Brand) Sliced Honey Smoked Turkey Breast. On the back side of the container top reads:

Sandwich Ingredients:
Makes 1 Sandwich
2 slices whole wheat bread
5 or 6 slice Private Selection honey turkey
2 slices Private Selection pepperjack cheese
2 slices tomato
1 lettuce leaf
2 TBSP Private Selection sweet and hot mustard

Method:
1. Place the Turkey (yes, the capitalized it) on one of the slices of bread, and then spread one tablespoon of mustard on the Turkey.
2. Add the cheese, tomato, and lettuce.
3. Spread the rest of the mustard and place on the top piece of bread (no period, this time...hmmm...)

Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Slow down there, Julia Childs. 😱

 

[waggy]

I have a jar of peanuts that actually says "Allergy alert! Contains peanuts" on it. this is probably because some idiot alergic ate peanuts and sued the company that packaged them. Now they have to put such a silly warning to protect themselves from moron lawsuit happy people.

sadly yes it does.

In my daughters 4th grade class they have a kid who is allergic to nuts. Every year the mother goes in and tells the school, teacher and sends home a letter to the parents. so we don't send in snacks with nuts.

The class has maybe 10 students in it and they have all been together since kindergarten. So needless to say we all know not to send in anything with nuts or made with nut products.

The students had a party in spanish class. The teacher had cookies. he asked her if they had nuts in it. she said no. so they all eat.

he ended up in the ER. why? they were peanut butter cookies. But she called them something else saying it was a family tradition recipe. She didn't think peanut butter would do anything to him...

 

[Saint Nick]

This thread is hilarious. I am literally LOL'ing at my desk...hahaha...

 

[CPA]

The type of meat (all the animals are tasty 😛) almost doesn't matter to me when considering the brand. Boar's Head or Dietz & Watson. Preferably the former. Fuck that private select house brand shit. You pay like $1 more a pound and get superior flavor, quality, freshness, etc.

Private Selection is just rebranded name brands.

 

[AstroManLuca]