• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Are gays born gay or do they realize it later in life?

Page 4 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
So, I need some scientist to PROVE through genetic research that I am attracted to men? Gee, I guess all these years I've been basing my actions on the completely wrong reasons, obviously my own desires aren't reason enough or proof enough.

A lack of scientific evidence does not prove anything. I'd bet you believe in God as well; so far scientists haven't done any proving of His existence, and they've done a lot to prove how things could exist WITHOUT God, far more than they've done to prove homosexuality is unnatural.

Homosexuality does not defy anything. We are thinking beings, with feelings. As long as the species continues to survive and thrive, there is wide latitude in what can be found in the species. Not every single organism needs to reproduce in a given population. By your definition, being a priest goes against nature and is wrong.

Once again you're trying to assign social concepts to things that don't need it. I don't need a societal view of what being 'gay' or 'bi' is. I know that I like men and women; I'm not concerned with what society feels about that, or whether it's accepted; I feel it regardless. I don't base my identity on it (though obviously a large part of my behavior stems from it, just as a straight male's behavior stems largely from his desire for women); I don't "act like a bisexual" or whatever you seem to think happens. I'm me, I act like me. For people that are gay or bi, there is no 'phase' to pass through, only a recognition of their feelings at some point and then a life which accepts those feelings.
 
i think a lot of girls are born with some homosexual tendencies.

a lot of girls i've known have expressed the idea has at one point intrigued them. Alot of girls i've known have done the deed.

 
Its not possible to be born gay. Being gay is a choice. We chose who we love and who we go to bed with. And as far as comparing homosexual behavior from the animal world its totally different. Animals do not reason. Animals have sex to reproduce, its their nature. Where humans have sex for enjoyment. When animals come into heat or mating they don't understand that having sex with an animal of its same gender will not reproduce off spring. Being gay is choice, now whether its right or wrong is whole other issue. And in repsonse to the guy who said we all have the potential to be homosexual, I for one have absolutely no chance of ever being gay. None, nada, I have a better chance of growing wings and flying.
 
i disagree. I think it can be in the genes, just as other behavioural patterns are in your disposition such as alcholism or depression.

So if your dad was an angry suicidal drunk with gay tendencies, you may be predisposed to the same.
 
I believe most people, at some point in their lives, have wondered whether they are gay or not.

Speak for yourself! I had stirrings for the opposite sex at very young age. I didn't even know why but girls were exciting! I can see that in my 8 yr old nephew as well. I didn't even know what "gay" was until 13 or 14 and that was in the context of AIDS. So as far as I am concerned your statement is incorrect.

Simple test. Go to a place filled with people and see where your head turns. For me it has always been the ladies. Its instinctive. Simple.
 
I agree with TRP.

In my case, I was more attracted to individuals regardless of sex from an early age. However, I had enough problems fitting in so it was really, really easy to focus on men as I got older. That's why I think for some it may NOT be a choice... because I felt like I could choose and I chose the path of least resistance all the way! Who would choose to be scorned and demonized be society, or worse, be some sort of masturbational fodder for voyeuristic clods? Not me! 😛

I'll reiterate that I am rarely sexually attracted to anyone at all (but I do have a high sex drive). Sex is a sacred thing to me and not taken lightly at all.

When I am attracted to someone physically, it runs deep and is long lasting. I have never cared for casual sexuality... life transforming intimacy has always been the goal for me.
 
Quoting my thesis of a highschool paper...

Everybody is born bisexual. It is their natural instint( 90 %) and society (10%) that determines which way he or he swings. Thats my personal belief.
And second of all.. I have a question. Has anyone ever notice that in a gay couple, one is extremely masculine, and the other one is extremely femmish? I never really understood that, but i have thoeries. Natrually, everyone should be with a person of the opposite sex. But i think some sort of genetic queef occured.
 
phatcow:

Quoting my thesis of a highschool paper... Everybody is born bisexual.

I disagree and believe just the oppostite. I believe for most there are certain instincts that are hardwired and cannot be modulated. Sexuality is one of them with heterosexuality being the dominant drive (how else would we as a species thrive otherwise!)

I could no more be attracted sexually to a man that I could cut off my right hand.

 


<< Has anyone ever notice that in a gay couple, one is extremely masculine, and the other one is extremely femmish? >>



Interesting. I'm not sure if I agree with this, but in contrast, the Mr and I both have a high level of androgyny. We are pretty comfortable and secure with both sides of our nature (masculine and feminine) and play different roles depending on who is best at what. Instead of going to extremes, we focus on being balanced. We must be doing something right... we are pretty happy.

 
ISLA:

Never really thought about using the term &quot;androgyny&quot; but I guess you have a point. Don't mind shopping with my wife or getting sucked into a romantic comedy occaisionally and my wife loves action movies and will watch some sports but for me it doesn't extend beyond that. Mostly we fill the tradional gender roles. 😉
 
Isn't homosexuality just a way to reduce the amount of offspring being produced in a population when times are good, food is available for everyone in more than sufficient amounts and serious illness are rare?

Regarding 'desires': desires are the 'output' of the more primitive part of our brain. In earlier times, this was the only part of our brain which made us survive. Then the brains got bigger, and we gained 'consciousness'. However, this primitive part of our brains still controls most of our thoughts and actions by using certain output as input for those newer parts of the brain. Most Humans are therefore in most situations acting on their instinct.
 
<< Has anyone ever notice that in a gay couple, one is extremely masculine, and the other one is extremely femmish? >>

This applies to both hetro and homosexual relationships. There is almost always one more dominant than the other. It's human and animal nature. I'm not saying one lords over the other, just that one will usually play the submissive role more often than the other.
 
I think being gay is a choice someone makes later in life. Kinda like drinking, your not born with the taste for beer are you?(i wasnt) It's something you have to acquire a taste for.
There are alot of factors that effect someone's descion to be gay. (bad home life, peer pressure, low self esstem, etc...)
:edit:
This is what I think. Is this the case for all gays? I doubt it.

Plz no crapping
 
Scabilian, no, not all people automatically like beer, but it has been proven that alcoholism is genetically linked.
 
OK, I really should be going now, but I have one more thing to say!

I did have a bit of a hormone imbalance when I was a kid and I am willing to bet $$$ that it had a lot to do with my first inclinations. I actually looked like a boy during the time I was most attracted to females. As I got older, my body seemed to become more feminized and some men became more attractive to me. Of course, now I am very obviously in a happy heterosexual relationship but I would not pretend that I never felt anything else. It seems important to me to say &quot;Yes, I went through this!&quot; and to point out that I had a good childhood with loving parents. However, I was a bit 'off' physically at the time.

I really do think that it is very much something that is in your body, whether it is a gene or a hormonal thing.
 


<< There are alot of factors that effect someone's descion to be gay. (bad home life, peer pressure, low self esstem, etc...) >>



You think these factors would encourage someone to be gay? After the comments that have been made on this board?

Let me see - peer pressure - last time I checked most people encouraged heterosexual relationships, not homosexual relationships.

Low self esteem - Hmmmm...with as much hatred, disrespect, and social dogma that gays receive, I would think that low self esteem would encourage a gay person to go straight. Not the other way around.

Why would someone consciously choose a lifestyle that a large percentage of the population is appalled of?
 
Lord Evermore
They've never proved you have a brain...... but still you think you have one. do you need a scientist to tell you, you have one?
 
<< Has anyone ever notice that in a gay couple, one is extremely masculine, and the other one is extremely femmish? >>

That is such a dated view. It's what heterosexuals impose on gay people so that the hetersexuals can justify two men being together in their mind. I know of many gay couples who are both masculine.
 
<< There are alot of factors that effect someone's descion to be gay. (bad home life, peer pressure, low self esstem, etc...) >>

these would cause someone to be gay? I don't think so. On the contrary, I think these would cause someone to go straight just so they get more acceptance and fit in better. One word -- DOH!
 


<< I guess that wasn't a good example then. You get my point though. >>



No, I don't get your point.
 
I don't know how others feel but Homosexuality is just so un-natural and wrong. I find two women just as distasteful as two men. I know some very nice people who are gay and like them. But I just find their lifestyle so nasty. Maybe that is the wrong way to feel but I feel that way. And my thinking has nothing to do with my religous beliefs either, they just make me even more disapproving. I don't not believe they should be treated any different though. There is no room for discrimination but just don't try to tell me its right because some people approve of it.
 
People that have some of the problems I listed tend to &quot;try&quot; things to make themselves fell better about themselves. It doesn't mean 100% of the time they try being gay.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top