A feature of American conservative men is the fact that their self hate is strongly tied to gender. All so called feminine feelings natural to a human being to have, but according to the thypical cultural sickness inherent to Abrahamic patriarchal religion are thereby deemed improper for the inculcated in that culture to to have, become thereby, via family, peer, and social pressure, taboo and repressed in expression. This loss of feminine aspects of the self create an inner division and longing, tatamount to repressed envy and its correlative expression as hatred for objects of repressed lust.
This is an illness that can only be psychically maintained by fantasies of domination of the objects encountered in life that threaten to shut down access to those very objects of lust. Such a case would be a woman like the one the OP has become fixated on in this thread. She would not naturally be interested in him. She already has all of the self confidence of a man as a women but none of his insecurities of also being
She threatens the very reality of the justifications for his sickness. In this way he must hate her. She represents what he would have to become himself if he is to heal, a man in whom the hated but longed for feminine becomes alive. Only down that path, the love denied but longed for, he could once again then give himself.
This, I believe, is the source of conservative insanity surrounding women, the need to control the forbidden, the substitute for a personal awareness of ones inner divisions and mental illness.