Where do you want to be backpacking?
A big variable, this will have a huge impact on gear choices. Location, terrain, any and all details on what you need; on trail, off trail, up mountains, through deserts, in jungles —what are you using the gear for?
When you will go?
Combined with where you go, this can alter the range of suggestions of appropriate gear, particularly shelters and sleeping bags. Winter gear is radically different than 3 season gear in some regions, in others not quite so much.
Your budget
How much you want to spend? and how much you are willing to spend in order to get what you need (usually as little as possible, but remember sometimes the safest and most appropriate item is not always the cheapest)!
What weight of [item] do you anticipate needing?
What total backpack weight are you shooting for? It seems the longer one backpacks and actively seeks to refine the gear list, the more weight matters. Part of being comfortable on the trail can be not carrying more than necessary. Might be worth considering this up front; the answer to this question will probably change though... and if you don't have any idea, don't worry about it yet.
Other steps you can take that a forum or online article can't help you do:
go to a local outdoor sports outfitter that offers pack fittings - have them take your hip/back measurements and write them down. Many brands have different size ranges and it's important for a pack to fit correctly. While you are having measurements taken ask to be shown how to adjust a pack properly.
don't be too brand-fixated, too worried about color, or other superficial features. For shelters, filters, sleeping bags and anything to do with your survival, function should be top priority. Including what's on your feet, your primary mode of travel.
if you are having some sort of physical issue, feel free to seek out others on the forum who have similar issues to commiserate -- but remember that a real diagnosis and treatment should be obtained in person, from a professional with the appropriate licensing/certifications.
golite is having a sale right now:
https://www.golite.com/clearance.aspx
for the sleeping bag, get the marmot helium Women:
http://www.rei.com/product/817117
there is another 20% off coupon for the helium.
not bad for the MH tent for under $100
http://www.rei.com/outlet/deal-of-the-day
Get the lightest and warmest SB you can afford.