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Anyone here adopted? Care to share opinions?

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Originally posted by: Pohemi420
I'm wondering:
If you were adopted, when did your parents break the news to you? Did they tell you anything about your biological parents or were you able to contact them? How did you feel or what did you think about your biological parents, and did you/do you blame them for giving you up?

BTW, I don't need to know who wasn't adopted. These questions were supposed to be aimed at people who were, or are close to someone who was. Thanks. :roll:
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I was adopted ~3 weeks after I was born. I don't remember when or how my parents told me, but it must have been at a very young age, because I don't remember a time that I didn't know. I haven't contacted my biological parents, nor do I want to, but I'm grateful that they did what they did so I could have the life I have today.
 
Originally posted by: bradruth
I was adopted ~3 weeks after I was born. I don't remember when or how my parents told me, but it must have been at a very young age, because I don't remember a time that I didn't know. I haven't contacted my biological parents, nor do I want to, but I'm grateful that they did what they did so I could have the life I have today.
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Can I ask why? I mean, why do you not want to know them? Because it doesn't really matter....because it might be difficult...or something else entirely?

 
Originally posted by: Pohemi420
So if you were adopted and you never bothered trying to contact your blood relation, why? Does it have anything to do with being angry or feeling betrayed? Or do you just not care enough either way to bother?
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My mother is a pediatrician, so she obviously knows many children who have been adopted. Typically they've known from the start that they were adopted (when they're old enough, eventually they start asking questions about why they look different than their parents, that's usually when the parents sit them down to explain it). Once in their teens, some have a desire to find their blood relations as a means of finding identity, but many really don't care. Occasionally because they resent their blood parents for giving them up, but mostly because they don't look at them as parents at all. The people who raise them are 'Mom' and 'Dad', DNA is a side issue.

And no, I'm not adopted, but wanted to get my 2 cents in.
 
My brother knew early that he was adopted. My parents just told him basically that his biological mother was very young and couldnt take care of a baby at that time and she knew that there were families that could take better care and give him what he needed in life. So she did what was best for him and gave him to a new family that would love him forever. Or something along those lines.

He's never contacted his biological mother, though she did stop by once when he was about 1-2 years old. He's 16 now. And as of right now, he hasn't mentioned anything about wanting to find her.
 
Im adopted. I knew from as early as I can remember. My parents talked openly about it. the hospital left my id bracelet on by accident when I was adopted and it had my birth mom's real maiden name on it. I never felt very compelled to contact her but I'd post on internet message boards occasionally with some identifying info. Then my daughter was born and they ask all these questions about family medical history. I knew nothing. The letter they give my parents when I was adopted said "normal medical history" . Gee. Thanks. Anyway, I start to post on some more adoption message boards with more specific info and I found a group on yahoo that was specifically about people from the state i was adopted in. I joined and gave them my birth mothers name. Later that night I had an email from a member with my birth mothers address, phone number, husbands name, etc. What did I do with that info? Nothing. I sat on it for almost 2 years. Then, about 2 months ago I got an email from someone "searching for 'my name' " . After a few emails confirming who we were, we knew. I wont get into all the other details I found out but we email a few times a week as well as her sister and brother in law. If anyone wants to chat about being adopted, PM me.
 
Our daughter should be able to figure it out relatively quickly considering that she's Chinese and we're white. We'll be telling her bits and pieces as soon as she's able to understand, including children's stories with adoption themes.
 
Originally posted by: AndrewR
Our daughter should be able to figure it out relatively quickly considering that she's Chinese and we're white. We'll be telling her bits and pieces as soon as she's able to understand, including children's stories with adoption themes.
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LOL, thats why my brother new early too. He's black and we are white. Perceptive kid 🙂
 
Originally posted by: AndrewR
Our daughter should be able to figure it out relatively quickly considering that she's Chinese and we're white. We'll be telling her bits and pieces as soon as she's able to understand, including children's stories with adoption themes.
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My sister wasn't adopted, but we had different fathers. I am mostly Irish and German (Euro-trash 😉 ), but she is half Phillipino, with 'olive' skin year round. I never knew what the reason was for this until I was 12 years old (my mother refused to tell me the truth and I had to find out from my father). I never think of her as my "half-sister", she's just my sister.

As far as all these questions about adoption...I guess I'm just in a stage of self-doubt.

My GF of three years and I had a son almost two years ago. She was unemployed, had no health insurance, and I was in the middle of trying to get my degree (also unemployed). For these and various other reasons, we mutually decided it would be best to give Kaleb up for adoption before he was ever born. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make hands down, and sometimes I still regret it.

We have kept in contact with the adoptive parents through letters and pictures, and have a really good friendship with them. Kaleb (now Joey) will be 2 yrs old on March 23rd this year. I know in my heart that my GF and I have made the right decision, I've basically just been beating myself up by speculating about how he might feel as he grows up, and if he'll ever have any desire to contact us. I also understand that his adoptive parents ARE his parents, but I hope maybe in the future he might want to contact us and at least consider us "friends of the family". My GF and I have since discussed having more children eventually when we are more prepared, but I'll never forget Kaleb Artemis....:brokenheart:
 
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Originally posted by: Pohemi420
Can I ask why? I mean, why do you not want to know them? Because it doesn't really matter....because it might be difficult...or something else entirely?
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Just doesn't matter. I have terrific parents as it is, so I have no need/desire to search out my biological parents. If they searched me out I wouldn't object to meeting them, though.
 
I'm not adopted, but if I was, I think I'd be interested to know about the history of my biological parents, after all it's where I would have come from. I would like to thank them for what they did if it helped my future as well.
 
i'm not adopted but my twin sisters are. I think they figured it out pretty early they were adopted...(thier korean and well my family is white) thier great kids and I miss them a ton since i"ve moved across the country a few years back.
 
19 year necro time! /flexes at brianmanahan

(Younger of two) graduated from HS a semester early as of yesterday. Happy and healthy young men, both of them.
I feel a lot better about the decision now, knowing it was the right one, than I did when it took place.
 
Pohemi said:
I understand that if you're adopted (by people of no blood relation to you) you'll most likely always think of your adoptive parents as your real parents. Even though you may not be their child by blood, they raised you and loved you just as much (I hope). I just want to know how people who were adopted feel about their biological parents, and if they care whether or not they ever met them.

BTW, I don't need to know who wasn't adopted. These questions were supposed to be aimed at people who were, or are close to someone who was. Thanks. :roll:
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May I ask why are you asking this question? By the way, I am not adopted, just curious as to why you are asking this question.
 
My mom was adopted. She knew all her life who her birth parents were, but never looked them up. She DID meet one of her uncles (mother's brother) and developed a relationship with him and his family. My blood father died in the Korean War before I was born, so (obviously) I never met him...and his parents/family never wanted anything to do with us after his death. (didn't approve of my mom apparently) I had a couple of step dads who "adopted" me after they married my mom. I did meet a few aunts and uncles from my mom’s dad's native american side of the family. Never got close to any of them.
 
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SKORPI0 said:
So Joey will turn 21 this March 23rd. Have you maintained contact with the adoptive parents? Does Joey know? Will you reveal yourself if he seeks you out?
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Their mother is still a Facebook 'friend', but I have not spoken to her/them in a number of years now.

No idea if they ever told the boys, I would imagine so but I honestly don't know. If either of them seek me out (there were 2 boys, they both went to the same family), I'll be more than happy to meet with either/both of them. Until then, I will not initiate contact. I leave it up to them and their desire to seek me out.

Their mother still has my contact info if they choose to reach out.
 
I adopted 2 this summer. Technically I'm fostering but after a certain time they will be officially adopted. One is 3 years old and the other 6. Since I work they stay home all day and have their food and water as well as a box to poop in. Oh, and they're cats.
 
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