At my current job, the people constantly have faith in me and push me to be better than I am. When I started here I was really poor at speaking skills. Constantly nervous about talking in meetings, etc. But they put me into a management position and are training me. I lead a meeting this morning with various people in the organization. So I've made progress over the years. I was still a bit nervous, and felt like I was fumbling over words somewhat. Who cares, I did it, and it will get easier and easier each time I do it.
I've talked to my boss about it in the past, and he has no social skills problems. He says he still gets nervous when he leads meetings. Not about speaking. But rather "Are people going to think this is worth their time? Is this meeting bringing anything to the table. My reputation is on the line if I host a meeting and it has no value, so I need to make sure it has value." So he says to avoid that, he just prepares. He goes into the meeting with an agenda. What he wants to talk about. Creates like a list of bullet points to talk about, 4 items or so. Then goes into it, talks about it, and gets out.
I did that. I went into the room 5 minutes early, wrote on my paper the list of 3-4 items I wanted to talk about, and away we went. I made sure to cover each one. Meeting over within 20 minutes. Straight to the point. I learn from him.
Honestly the best thing you can do is just prepare, have an agenda, follow the script.
If you can just stick to what you have prepared with, then you should have more confidence about what you are doing. Then talking isn't that big of a deal. Even people who have good social skills are nervous, they just hide it better. You need to practice, exercise, and overtime, you'll get better. But you have to start somewhere.
Think of it this way. When people communicate with you at work. Be in meetings, phone, or whatever. They are talking to you to gain something. If you are in a meeting, but choosing to say nothing because you lack the skills and are afraid, you will just be a lump of flesh in a seat that brings nothing to the table. If you speak up. You bring value to that discussion. Your aim is to bring value to the discussion. When you think of it that way, you force yourself to participate. You will get better over time. It may take a year or two, but you'll get there. But you have to start somewhere. It's like exercising. You won't lose 60 lbs in a single 30 minute work out. But every 30 minute workout is an investment in your future. Think of your social skills in the same fashion. Make little steps, and over time, you'll get where you need to be. Start with just a simple exercise once a week. Speak up in a situation where you normally wouldn't want to talk. Make small talk with someone at the urinal. "Nice weather out there..." That's all it takes. Practice.
I can talk to most people at my job now with just a slight nervousness. But 10x better than I was 3-4 years ago.