Any ex-drinkers in the house?

[BoomerD]

A functional alcoholic. My brother is one, as long as he never misses work he can claim to not have a problem.

I never claimed not to have a drinking problem...although, I drink, I fall down and pass out...no problem!!

I KNEW I had a drinking problem, I just never let it interfere with my work.

 

[HAL9000]

You shouldn't need medication to help you quit drinking; that's just replacing one crutch with another. I had a good friend who got so messed up on drugs and alcohol that he had to go to a rehab center for six months. Since then, he hasn't used or touched alcohol, except apparently on one recent occasion after losing his job. He says the thing that helps him most is meetings (Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous). Surrounding yourself with other people who are actively abstaining will make the process a lot easier and give you people to talk to about the emotional issues that are presumably at the cause of your problem drinking. Ultimately, it has to be on you. If it's something you actually want to do, quit bitching about it and do it; if you fall back on how it's all a disease, you're taking away your own responsibility and replacing it with a feeling of powerlessness, and that is detrimental to your progress.

Meetings are a good idea, it's not a disease, but bipolar disorder is and I use alcohol to medicate that, which is the underlying issue. I know I can do this I just to put some systems in place to make sure I follow through, a group does sound like a good idea so I'll definitely look into that.

Go to some AA meetings (or whatever the British equivalent is). It might work for you; it might not. It's cheaper than therapy, and it seems to help a lot of people.

Good idea, I'll look into it. Thanks dude.

 

[rise]

only thing that works for me is AA as mentioned above

 

[HAL9000]

only thing that works for me is AA as mentioned above

My problem with AA (yes we do have it in the UK, just checked) is that it's all christian based, and as an atheist that wouldn't help me.

 

[skyking]

You stated on the problem in your first post: you self medicate with alcohol.
I agree that using another drug in its place is not really helping, so you need to work on getting help for that. It sounds like the quitting will be the easy part for you.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

My problem with AA (yes we do have it in the UK, just checked) is that it's all christian based, and as an atheist that wouldn't help me.

It's the same in the US. But they don't actually go into the Jesus stuff, it's more about finding your own spirituality. Now, admittedly, as an atheist, that also sounds pretty fucked up. But I've gone to a few of the meetings (in support of my friend), and the bits about higher power and spirituality could be replaced with ideas about absolutely anything that you hold dear; you aren't going to be inundated with Christianity by any means (I didn't hear Jesus mentioned once outside of one member talking about his experiences being saved). Don't let the faith-based bit stop you from going; it can be legitimately helpful for people in need.

 

[rise]

My problem with AA (yes we do have it in the UK, just checked) is that it's all christian based, and as an atheist that wouldn't help me.

it's not christian based. some of the founders were of christian faith so there are overtones but it is stressed that each person needs to find his own higher power. it is spiritual program so if you have a problem with that, then look for something else.

to add to what AP said and to clarify a bit, I'm not saying AA isn't for you right off the bat. I was an agnostic/i don't give a shit about God type of guy when I went back to AA.

If you seriously have a problem and can't stop drinking than AA is a great place to start. It has helped millions of people and you're not unique being an atheist entering the halls.

 

[HAL9000]

it's not christian based. some of the founders were of christian faith so there are overtones but it is stressed that each person needs to find his own higher power. it is spiritual program so if you have a problem with that, then look for something else.

Wikipedia:

Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon AA unity.
For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.
Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
An AA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the AA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
Every AA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
AA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

12 Steps:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

There's a hell of a lot of god in that.

 

[Baked]

I just bought some $30 wine from Costco, as well as some Tequila and some sam adams winter lager. Bottom's up.

 

[HAL9000]

You stated on the problem in your first post: you self medicate with alcohol.
I agree that using another drug in its place is not really helping, so you need to work on getting help for that. It sounds like the quitting will be the easy part for you.

Of course, quitting is always the easiest part. I don't want to quit. The problem is that being bipolar is incurable, my memory problems are incurable so I need to deal with this without directly addressing the underlying problems.

It's the same in the US. But they don't actually go into the Jesus stuff, it's more about finding your own spirituality. Now, admittedly, as an atheist, that also sounds pretty fucked up. But I've gone to a few of the meetings (in support of my friend), and the bits about higher power and spirituality could be replaced with ideas about absolutely anything that you hold dear; you aren't going to be inundated with Christianity by any means (I didn't hear Jesus mentioned once outside of one member talking about his experiences being saved). Don't let the faith-based bit stop you from going; it can be legitimately helpful for people in need.

OK I'll look into it, but the wikipedia link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-Step_Program

Seems pretty christian and that would just piss me off.

 

[BoomerD]

Wikipedia:



There's a hell of a lot of god in that.

GOD does not necessarily equal Christianity...Find your own "GOD" to use as a crutch.
Lots of non-Christians and atheists manage to get sober and stay sober with the help of AA.

I never did go that route. I just stopped drinking. Some folks can't do that. I can't quit smoking for any length of time. I've tried numerous times...and always seem to find an excuse to pick up another smoke...last time it was about 18 months.

I used to say that I wasn't an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings...I was just a drunk. (although most people who didn't really know me, never knew that I was a drinker.)

 

[HAL9000]

GOD does not necessarily equal Christianity...Find your own "GOD" to use as a crutch.
Lots of non-Christians and atheists manage to get sober and stay sober with the help of AA.

Sure, but the God they describe is a single monotheistic loving God, in short a very christian god. Even if it isn't a christian God. I'm an atheist it doesn't matter what god it is.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

There's a hell of a lot of god in that.

True, but nowhere does it specify a Judeo-Christian God. It merely asks you to accept that there is a power greater than yourself. It doesn't matter what you call it. Maybe you say that the physics that govern our universe is how you choose to define this higher power. It's much more of a personal thing than forced religious dogma. Regardless, I'd recommend checking out a meeting. Like I said, I'm an agnostic atheist, I don't believe in God and I hate being proselytized to, and I did not find the religious or spiritual aspects remotely overwhelming. It's much, much more about people sharing their personal experiences and commending each other for living lives free of alcohol or drugs. Try it, if you can't get past the God thing, that's fair, try something else.

 

[HAL9000]

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/?PageID=56

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I don't think I could go to that.

 

[rise]

Wikipedia:

There's a hell of a lot of god in that.

yeah, your God. Not mine, not christian etc. whatever you feel. many people, including myself, have used the AA group as their higher power.

but in the end, yes, the purpose of the big book is to help us find our own God who then helps us to recover.

 

[BoomerD]

http://www.agnosticaanyc.org/worldwide.html#England

 

[HAL9000]

True, but nowhere does it specify a Judeo-Christian God. It merely asks you to accept that there is a power greater than yourself. It doesn't matter what you call it. Maybe you say that the physics that govern our universe is how you choose to define this higher power. It's much more of a personal thing than forced religious dogma. Regardless, I'd recommend checking out a meeting. Like I said, I'm an agnostic atheist, I don't believe in God and I hate being proselytized to, and I did not find the religious or spiritual aspects remotely overwhelming. It's much, much more about people sharing their personal experiences and commending each other for living lives free of alcohol or drugs. Try it, if you can't get past the God thing, that's fair, try something else.

It says God, a loving god, prayer etc etc. I won't be praying, I won't believe in a loving god. I don't really want to spend much time around people that are preaching that stuff. I'll ask around but the AA uk website, has loads of god crap in it.

 

[skyking]

have you tried the more conventional treatments for your bipolar disorder?

 

[HAL9000]

yeah, your God. Not mine, not christian etc. whatever you feel. many people, including myself, have used the AA group as their higher power.

but in the end, yes, the purpose of the big book is to help us find our own God who then helps us to recover.

Hmm OK, i'll think about it, I just really don't like the emphasis put on God.

 

[BoomerD]

It says God, a loving god, prayer etc etc. I won't be praying, I won't believe in a loving god. I don't really want to spend much time around people that are preaching that stuff. I'll ask around but the AA uk website, has loads of god crap in it.

If you're weak enough to let those things stop you from quitting...you don't really want to quit.

Weaklings always find some excuse or another. Look at Tridentboy and his myriad of excuses for everything in his life.

 

[HAL9000]

have you tried the more conventional treatments for your bipolar disorder?

I've tried an assortment of medication, CBT, psychotherapy, exercise, changing my diet, sleeping pills, going to groups. Changing my lifestyle, as yet no go.

 

[SparkyJJO]

EVERY idea you guys come up with he'll find some problem with.

Forget it. He's not really looking for help, just more attention and postcount +1 opportunities.

 

[HAL9000]

If you're weak enough to let those things stop you from quitting...you don't really want to quit.

Weaklings always find some excuse or another. Look at Tridentboy and his myriad of excuses for everything in his life.

I'm not using that as an excuse not to quit, I'm using it as a reason not to want to go to AA, there are other groups I'd be more than happy to go to. "Open Road" is another one that looks more promising and people have recommended it to me...

 

[BoomerD]

EVERY idea you guys come up with he'll find some problem with.

Forget it. He's not really looking for help, just more attention and postcount +1 opportunities.

Just like Tridentboy.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

I don't think I could go to that.

I think our beliefs have quite a bit of overlap, with the exception being that I have no intention of quitting drinking... Anyway, I'm telling you, from personal experience, the God thing is not a big part of it. It's a creed that gets read of the start of every meeting. Takes about 5 minutes, tops. The other 55 or so minutes? People telling their stories, people talking about their successes or failures, people winning trinkets and accolades for passing milestones of sobriety, etc. It doesn't feel like a faith-based organization or meeting in my opinion.

Try out a meeting or two. Get a feel for it. Being around other people who are actively trying to quit is the BEST way to avoid alcohol yourself.