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Another W.W.Y.D. thread...feel like I got suckd into a middle school argument!

L

leeland

Diamond Member
OK...title might be a little misleading...but basically am wondering what you guys would do in my place...I will try to summarize...

1. Built a house a 18 months ago...
2. Had a couple of issues that were eventually resolved after multiple requests...
3. Wife gets frustrated and eventually turns against builder (i.e. doesn't like him)
4. Wife's friends like our house and pick him as a builder for their home.
5. Wife vents to friend (close friend mind you) about issues had with builder.
6. Almost 6 months since the last time I talked to him I get a call from the builder out of the blue...(yesterday)

Apparently the wife's "friend" ratted her out to the builder (not that it even matters at this point) during a random conversation...

Basically from what I could summarize, the wife's friend told the builder all the things my wife was unhappy with and basically that she thought that he didn't do that good of a job...not sure what she actually said but it was apparently enough to make this guy want to call me.

I talked it through with him and he was cool with it and I reassured him we were indeed happy and that it was water under the bridge.

He asked me to not tell my wife or talk to other couple. Part of me kind of wants to tell my wife...the other part is saying to let it go...

One one side I am annoyed as fuck that this 'friend' would basically throw us under the bus for no good reason other than to get this guy mad for some reason.

The other side is kind of like the hell with it, nothing good is going to come out of stirring the pot.


What do you guys think?
 
I say just let it go. Not going to accomplish anything but more problems if you drag it out.
 
F letting it go.

Confront the wife's friend and figure out why they would do that. Afterall, what kind of friend are they really if they would throw you under the bus like that?
 
Why hide something from your wife, given the source? Also this other couple sounds like some jackasses.
 
1) Who gives a fuck what your wife said about the builder or how he feels about it? You're your wife's husband, but you're not the builder's therapist.

2) Burn down the friend's house? 😀
 
The friend probably brought it up to the builder because they were concerned about what was going to happen with their house. The builder then pressed the friend to find out where they had heard all that.

In the end, I wouldn't do anything else. As long as your friend was given truthful information I don't see a need to talk to them again about it.
 
Rumpltzer said:
1) Who gives a fuck what your wife said about the builder or how he feels about it? You're your wife's husband, but you're not the builder's therapist.
Click to expand...

^This. Not telling the wife will not end well, but no reason to say anything to the friend.

Out of curiosity, was the builder threatening slander or something? Because otherwise I'd take him calling as a good sign, that he actually follows up on things and cares about his reputation.
 
1. Be honest with your wife, above all others.
2. Be honest with the builder. If you're not happy, tell him.
3. Be honest when and if you decide to give the builders name to friends.

He probably doesn't want you or your wife spreading the word that he fucked some stuff up, so he's upset that new clients are calling him out on it. Big f'in deal, do better next time.
 
So, you're not thrilled with the fact that the builder now knows that there were items regarding his work that your wife was not happy with.

I guess I don't understand why you consider this as being "thrown under the bus." You probably paid him a lot of money, so you guys should be happy with everything. Not only that, but if I were the builder, I'd want to know exactly what my past customer wasn't happy about.

leeland said:
I talked it through with him and he was cool with it and I reassured him we were indeed happy and that it was water under the bridge.
Click to expand...
Why did you tell him that, when your wife is not "indeed happy"???
It kind of sounds like your wife was unhappy, yet you did not want to address the issues with the builder... Like maybe not hurting his feelings was more important than your family's satisfaction with the job?
 
Last edited:
Holy crap, some replies just want to perpetuate drama.

If you let this drop, that will be the end of it. Your wife said her piece, her friend said her piece, the builder said his piece. You said the call ended amicably. It's not going to drag on and on as long as you drop it.

If you want to stir up more crap, then tell your wife about the builder's call, so she can tell her friend, so her friend can tell the builder, so the builder can be even more upset because he asked you to keep his call to yourself. Then your wife can be mad at her friend, and her friend can be mad at you. Yeah, tell me what good is going to come from that.

This isn't about being thrown under the bus, it's that your wife's friend wasn't smart enough to keep the source of her information to herself. OK, too late now. Nothing to be done at this point.
 
nothing good is going to come out of stirring the pot.
Click to expand...
Except the lols you can post for our enjoyment.

I'd be hard pressed to not tell my wife that her friend has a big mouth. Don't know how you can do it without giving her the details.
 
my advice is to talk more shiat!
most contractors are shady imexperience
if he did a shit job tell him and tell her to shut up?
naw, id never do that
hug him, boink her
 
Wingznut said:
So, you're not thrilled with the fact that the builder now knows that there were items regarding his work that your wife was not happy with.

I guess I don't understand why you consider this as being "thrown under the bus." You probably paid him a lot of money, so you guys should be happy with everything. Not only that, but if I were the builder, I'd want to know exactly what my past customer wasn't happy about.

Why did you tell him that, when your wife is not "indeed happy"???
It kind of sounds like your wife was unhappy, yet you did not want to address the issues with the builder... Like maybe not hurting his feelings was more important than your family's satisfaction with the job?
Click to expand...


After the building process was complete we had several semi-major issues that kind of dragged out.

I handled dealing with the builder and eventually we got it resolved.

I tried to play the good guy just to get it done vs. being a prick and dissolving the relationship.

I was upset as well on a couple of the issues, in an effort to get it done I just didn't say anything, while my wife was on the other side of the spectrum...and she actually had it out with the builder a couple of times. They didn't see eye to eye on a couple of things.

Once the issues were resolved we were finally able to enjoy the house...but it took almost 8 months to be done with issues.


The thrown under the bus part I guess might have been a bad use of words.

I guess, if I say something to a 'friend' even if it isn't the nicest thing I wouldn't expect them to turn around and say what I said in confidence to someone else.

As others have said, there is nothing that was good that was going to come out of it for her to discuss with the builder...

The guy does care about his rep and he is a nice guy...we had some not so good things with the house happen which don't normally occur so that is what left teh bad taste in the wife's mouth.

Some of them could have been handled a little better which is why the wife is mad.

I decided I won't tell her about it.
 
your friend didn't do anything wrong

i can understand minor issues on a new construction but i see builders doing stupid crap every day. i live close to an area where a lot of rich people are buying up 2 homes, demolishing them and building a huge mcmansion. they use small no name builders and these idiots leave wood framing in the rain with no tyvek stickers or whatever those things are called to protect wood from the rain during construction

i've also read enough horror stories from the last decade not to ever buy a new construction. my ideal home is about 10 years old
 
Your relationship with your wife is infinitely more important that your relationship with your builder. This question should answer itself.
 
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