Dear Son,
This writing is being made in accordance with my new years resolution of expressing my regret and sorrow for the way I raised you via memoranda, instead of ignoring at you and stealing your money secretly.
Your Childhood. You were always in school or playing video games and never had time for the family. That makes me extremely upset. You never wanted to play catch, or learn how to ride a bike or build a birdhouse, you just wanted to save the princess. If you spent as much time talking with us as you did pretending to be a pixelated italian plumber, reading nintendo power magazines finding cheats and hint on how to win the game that you don't have the skill to beat, I might not be writing this.
We gave all your toys away when you were 8 because you were so busy with that damned nintendo, you didn't touch your awesome matchbox car collection we bought you. We were very hurt you never played with them.
We asked you to get your drivers license so we didn't have to drive your ass around everywhere all the time. Were glad you didn't ask for a car, we spend enough money on your spoiled ass anyway. You are right about us insisting you get your license after we got out of the hospital, we figured you could drive your folks around where they needed to go while recovering.
You better act in accorance with our wishes, you're our son, we OWN you, but we digress. My word was my bond, until a couple deals fell through and we couldn't pay the bills, let alone buy you a car. Were sorry that you refused to drive yourself around in the minivan, stating that "how can I look cool in a minivan?". Well with two car payments, a mortgage, your private schooling tuition bills and our mounting debt we had a hard time gathering up the funds to pay for a car that you really didn't need. You could have just driven one of ours, but no, "everyone else in school has a car, I want one too!", was part of the reasoning. We are deeply sorry we couldn't purchase you your own car in your teenage years. Our parents were laughing their asses off when we told them about this.
Were not too fond of you either, son. You will learn someday that being frugal with your money is smart, so buying you a car or fulfilling the other 5 million wants you had on your list was just not top priority. Though we do feel bad about making promises to you about many of them, but it really was to just get you to stfu. You nag endlessly and whine to the point where we want to slap the piss out of you. When you grow up you will understand that our failed monetary promises to you do not define your life. I know it's tough when you're as spoiled as you, but how much more can you ask for?
Yea, the garage is a mess, and it's also full of a lot of your sh!t too! You could have offered to help in cleaning up the garage, or at least started to clean it up without us. But instead you looked out the window when your video game was on pause, rolled your eyes and thought to yourself "oh my god, my parents are so damned lazy". Then you sat back down in the chair we bought for you, unpaused the game we bought for you and ate some food that we bought, out of the fridge that we bought and pay to run. You could have at least offered to mow the lawn or something, but you said something about getting grass stains on your brand new Nike Jordans.
You resent the fact that we like to know what new restaurants in town offer on their menu? Sorry if were not satisfied with a diet of McDonalds and microwave burritos. Ok, that time was funny.. we didn't actually forget, we just left you there is a little joke/punishment for the incessant bitching you do and then whining about having to get out of the car to get us a menu. We figured you could use a little exercise and we could use a little break from you.
Well you always say you want to be treated like a grown-up. So we figured you would take this up as a challenge and help the family out. You have the internet and that googly thing I keep hearing about. I figured you could take this on as a little project, gain some valueable experience in doing anything but playing video games and bitching about life.
I'm sorry I expected you to start acting like a man at 21, or even like a teenager, my bad son. What I did get mad at is how you through a temper tantrum not 10 seconds after I asked you to help me with this. You didn't even take a second to think about it, or even bother to attempt to help, you just whined. I swear you should have been a girl.
This is true. Though you're probably not aware of all the other fraudulant insurance claims we have made in the past. How the hell do you think we paid for all thoes nice clothes you wanted? There are also a few other minor items like say, our legal address not actually being where we live, our names not being on the deed, and the insurance policy was bought through some guy who emailed me in africa. As for going out to eat, your mom can't cook for sh!t, and you can't even work a microwave, so what do you expect us to do?
I remember, I also remember when you said "so you're going to pay for it right?". Thoes important things you speak of are always bills, or some request for money, were not made of money son! Were sorry for yelling at you, we really want the best for you, but you can't expect us to pay for your first choice $35,000/semester school. Shush about the taxes, you havn't ever even held a job, wtf do you know about filing taxes? HA HA financial aid? Do you mean thoes "forms" you filled out that were just a little post-it note saying "dad, can you please loan me $150K for school"?
Were sorry, but honestly were just sick of your sh!t, son. Had you approached us and life the right way then mabey things would be a little different, but you just burnt your dear old parents out. Not to mention emptied our bank accounts too. We really don't hate you, but your mother and I honestly think you were supposed to be a girl with the amount of spending and bitching you do. Hell, you sit down on the toilet to take a pee, what kind of man does that?
Text
This car represents what I will be able to afford once you get your free-loading ass out of my house. So get moving, so your mother and I can at least have some happy memories before we die.
See PAB's thread
This writing is being made in accordance with my new years resolution of expressing my regret and sorrow for the way I raised you via memoranda, instead of ignoring at you and stealing your money secretly.
Your Childhood. You were always in school or playing video games and never had time for the family. That makes me extremely upset. You never wanted to play catch, or learn how to ride a bike or build a birdhouse, you just wanted to save the princess. If you spent as much time talking with us as you did pretending to be a pixelated italian plumber, reading nintendo power magazines finding cheats and hint on how to win the game that you don't have the skill to beat, I might not be writing this.
We gave all your toys away when you were 8 because you were so busy with that damned nintendo, you didn't touch your awesome matchbox car collection we bought you. We were very hurt you never played with them.
We asked you to get your drivers license so we didn't have to drive your ass around everywhere all the time. Were glad you didn't ask for a car, we spend enough money on your spoiled ass anyway. You are right about us insisting you get your license after we got out of the hospital, we figured you could drive your folks around where they needed to go while recovering.
You better act in accorance with our wishes, you're our son, we OWN you, but we digress. My word was my bond, until a couple deals fell through and we couldn't pay the bills, let alone buy you a car. Were sorry that you refused to drive yourself around in the minivan, stating that "how can I look cool in a minivan?". Well with two car payments, a mortgage, your private schooling tuition bills and our mounting debt we had a hard time gathering up the funds to pay for a car that you really didn't need. You could have just driven one of ours, but no, "everyone else in school has a car, I want one too!", was part of the reasoning. We are deeply sorry we couldn't purchase you your own car in your teenage years. Our parents were laughing their asses off when we told them about this.
Were not too fond of you either, son. You will learn someday that being frugal with your money is smart, so buying you a car or fulfilling the other 5 million wants you had on your list was just not top priority. Though we do feel bad about making promises to you about many of them, but it really was to just get you to stfu. You nag endlessly and whine to the point where we want to slap the piss out of you. When you grow up you will understand that our failed monetary promises to you do not define your life. I know it's tough when you're as spoiled as you, but how much more can you ask for?
Yea, the garage is a mess, and it's also full of a lot of your sh!t too! You could have offered to help in cleaning up the garage, or at least started to clean it up without us. But instead you looked out the window when your video game was on pause, rolled your eyes and thought to yourself "oh my god, my parents are so damned lazy". Then you sat back down in the chair we bought for you, unpaused the game we bought for you and ate some food that we bought, out of the fridge that we bought and pay to run. You could have at least offered to mow the lawn or something, but you said something about getting grass stains on your brand new Nike Jordans.
You resent the fact that we like to know what new restaurants in town offer on their menu? Sorry if were not satisfied with a diet of McDonalds and microwave burritos. Ok, that time was funny.. we didn't actually forget, we just left you there is a little joke/punishment for the incessant bitching you do and then whining about having to get out of the car to get us a menu. We figured you could use a little exercise and we could use a little break from you.
Well you always say you want to be treated like a grown-up. So we figured you would take this up as a challenge and help the family out. You have the internet and that googly thing I keep hearing about. I figured you could take this on as a little project, gain some valueable experience in doing anything but playing video games and bitching about life.
I'm sorry I expected you to start acting like a man at 21, or even like a teenager, my bad son. What I did get mad at is how you through a temper tantrum not 10 seconds after I asked you to help me with this. You didn't even take a second to think about it, or even bother to attempt to help, you just whined. I swear you should have been a girl.
This is true. Though you're probably not aware of all the other fraudulant insurance claims we have made in the past. How the hell do you think we paid for all thoes nice clothes you wanted? There are also a few other minor items like say, our legal address not actually being where we live, our names not being on the deed, and the insurance policy was bought through some guy who emailed me in africa. As for going out to eat, your mom can't cook for sh!t, and you can't even work a microwave, so what do you expect us to do?
I remember, I also remember when you said "so you're going to pay for it right?". Thoes important things you speak of are always bills, or some request for money, were not made of money son! Were sorry for yelling at you, we really want the best for you, but you can't expect us to pay for your first choice $35,000/semester school. Shush about the taxes, you havn't ever even held a job, wtf do you know about filing taxes? HA HA financial aid? Do you mean thoes "forms" you filled out that were just a little post-it note saying "dad, can you please loan me $150K for school"?
Were sorry, but honestly were just sick of your sh!t, son. Had you approached us and life the right way then mabey things would be a little different, but you just burnt your dear old parents out. Not to mention emptied our bank accounts too. We really don't hate you, but your mother and I honestly think you were supposed to be a girl with the amount of spending and bitching you do. Hell, you sit down on the toilet to take a pee, what kind of man does that?
Text
This car represents what I will be able to afford once you get your free-loading ass out of my house. So get moving, so your mother and I can at least have some happy memories before we die.
See PAB's thread
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