• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

An engineer goes to Hell

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Two Engineers agree to paint a flag pole. Of course they need to know how tall it is so they can purchase the paint. One shimmies up the pole with a tape measure and falls after reaching about half way. While trying to figure out how they can possibly measure the pole along comes a Designer. After asking what they're doing he replies, "that's easy". He then reaches around the pole and pulls it out of the ground and lays it down. "There you go", he said as he walked away. The two Engineers look at each other and one said "that stupid guy will never get anywhere, we don't need to know how wide it is, just how tall".
 
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer.The car breaks down."Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer. "Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system. "I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead." They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: "Well, what do you think?" "Ummm - how about if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"
 
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
 
mjrpes3 said:
a pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "what's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" the doctor chimed in, "i don't know, but i've never seen such ineptitude! "the pastor said, "hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"hi, george. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

the greens keeper replied, "oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

the group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "that's so sad. I think i will say a special prayer for them tonight."

the doctor said, "good idea. And i'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

the engineer said, "why can't these guys play at night?"
Click to expand...


lol 10/10
 
so there's a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, and civil engineer debating about what type of engineer god is.

the mech-e says "god is clearly a mechanical engineer! just look at the skeletal system and muscular system and how they interact to make you move"

the EE says "nonsense - the brain is a giant computer and the body responds to electrical impulses! god is an electrical engineer"

the civil engineer says "i hate to break it to you guys, but god is clearly a civil engineer. only a civil engineer would run a waste disposal through what many consider to be a recreational area"

😀
 
mjrpes3 said:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Click to expand...

That was really good. 10/10.
 
mjrpes3 said:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Click to expand...

LOL! :biggrin:
 
2/10... almost as old, and as bad as the joke i heard of the cheeze-it crackers commercial.


What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho Cheese!
 
kranky said:
I've gotten a lot of mileage out of that joke over the years, especially when I tell a lawyer, "Want to hear a good engineer joke?"

It's a good one.
Click to expand...

LOL I laughed at that more than the joke. I'm going to use that at poker night.
 
Three doctors were sitting around discussing which type of patients were the easiest to perform surgery on.

The first doctor said he thought electricians were the easiest since once you opened them up everything was color coded.

The second doctor stated that engineers were the easiest since not only is everything color coded it is also labeled.

The third doctor proclaimed that lawyers were by far the easiest because they have only two parts, a mouth and an asshole,....which are interchangeable.
 
mjrpes3 said:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Click to expand...

lol 🙂 that was good... sending this to my parents (both are engineers)
 
mjrpes3 said:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Click to expand...

Because they'll be eaten by mosquitos. Not the brightest of the bunch was he?
 
Fenixgoon said:
so there's a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, and civil engineer debating about what type of engineer god is.

the mech-e says "god is clearly a mechanical engineer! just look at the skeletal system and muscular system and how they interact to make you move"

the EE says "nonsense - the brain is a giant computer and the body responds to electrical impulses! god is an electrical engineer"

the civil engineer says "i hate to break it to you guys, but god is clearly a civil engineer. only a civil engineer would run a waste disposal through what many consider to be a recreational area"

😀
Click to expand...

hehehehehehehehe
Thats pretty good 🙂
 
Fenixgoon said:
so there's a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, and civil engineer debating about what type of engineer god is.

the mech-e says "god is clearly a mechanical engineer! just look at the skeletal system and muscular system and how they interact to make you move"

the EE says "nonsense - the brain is a giant computer and the body responds to electrical impulses! god is an electrical engineer"

the civil engineer says "i hate to break it to you guys, but god is clearly a civil engineer. only a civil engineer would run a waste disposal through what many consider to be a recreational area"

😀
Click to expand...

I never understood that joke until I started working for a civil firm. Now that joke cracks me up.
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Three engineers got on a crowded lunchtime bus. They somehow worked their way to the middle of the bus where they found three girls willing to exchange their seats for a place on the guys' laps.[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]After they got settled and had ridden that way for a while, the first girl suddenly asked the gentleman under her whether he might be an electrical engineer. Surprised, he replied, "Yes, I am! How did you know?"[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Easy," she said. "I'm getting shocked by your soldering iron."[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Just a few minutes later, the second girl asked her guy, "Are you a mechanical engineer?"[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]He said, "Why, yes, ma'am. How did you know that?"[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Simple," she said, "Your piston is scraping my cylinder."[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Shortly thereafter, the third girl turned to her fellow and asked, "Are you a civil engineer?"[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"I certainly am," he answered. "How could you have known that?"[/FONT]
 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Well," she said, "I figured it out as soon as your dam burst and flooded my village."[/FONT]
​
 
One engineer was waiting for another when he rolled up on a great looking new mountain bike. The first was impressed and asked "Wow, when did you get the bike? It looks amazing!"

The one on the bike said "It's a funny story. I was out for a walk in the hills near here when this good looking girl rode up on it. She stopped, took off all her clothes and then told me 'Take what you want'".

The engineer that had been waiting thought for a second and then said "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top