Q: What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do?
A: He lies wide awake in the middle of the night, wondering if there really is a Dog
A: He lies wide awake in the middle of the night, wondering if there really is a Dog
An Agnostic, Dyslexic, Insomniac ?
- Thread starter Geekbabe
- Start date
Q: What's better than asking what an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac does?
A: Telling good jokes
:beer:
A: Telling good jokes
:beer:
Ok
Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the shower?
The shampoo directions said "Wash, rinse, repeat."
Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the shower?
The shampoo directions said "Wash, rinse, repeat."
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Ok
Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the shower?
The shampoo directions said "Wash, rinse, repeat."
He had that much shampoo?
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions."
Turning to the first mother he said "You are obsessed with eating...you even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mother "Your obsession is money. Again it manifests itself in your childs name Penny."
He turned to the third mother "Your obsession is alcohol. It manifests itself in your childs name...."
At this point the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered "Come on Dick, let's go."
"You all have obsessions."
Turning to the first mother he said "You are obsessed with eating...you even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mother "Your obsession is money. Again it manifests itself in your childs name Penny."
He turned to the third mother "Your obsession is alcohol. It manifests itself in your childs name...."
At this point the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered "Come on Dick, let's go."
Originally posted by: Electric Amish
Originally posted by: conjur
A moldy oldy
Just like GB...
amish
:Q
A man has three girlfriends and can't decide which one to marry, so he gives each of them $500 to see how they'll spend it. The first girl has a complete makeover - new hairstyle, facial, manicure, new dress, the whole nine yards. "It's to please you," she explains, "because I love you so much."
The second girl buys the man a new set of golf clubs. "It's to please you," she explains, "because I love you so much."
The third girl invests the money in the stock market, doubles it, reinvests it again, doubles it and hands the man $2000 in fresh $50 bills. "It's to please you," she explains, "because I love you so much."
The man thinks hard about how each girlfriend has managed the cash - and then he marries the one with the biggest breasts.
The second girl buys the man a new set of golf clubs. "It's to please you," she explains, "because I love you so much."
The third girl invests the money in the stock market, doubles it, reinvests it again, doubles it and hands the man $2000 in fresh $50 bills. "It's to please you," she explains, "because I love you so much."
The man thinks hard about how each girlfriend has managed the cash - and then he marries the one with the biggest breasts.
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket and offers it to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!" The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket and offers it to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!" The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."
Lol,a true story
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted.
Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?" The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted.
Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?" The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Lol,a true story
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted.
Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?" The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"
You're not that flat...
amish
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