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Am I the one being the jerk here?

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It shouldn't matter who asked. That's how adults act. I've asked people to grab food order drinks or they've asked me, we automatically assume we split the bill, that's how it be.
 
you know your true friends after being together for years. Usually its one person that makes money and one friend that is always poor but provides the laughs and memories.

I don't know your situation to say whether you are a jerk or not.
 
How old are you? It sounds like you're both dicks.

Anyone who I'm good enough friends with to go into the wilderness with, I probably don't give a fuck one way or the other about who pays for gas. Real friends don't generally keep track of who owes who a trivial amount of money.

If you were going into a convenience store and your friend was like, 'hey, grab me a soda,' would you stop and wait there until he gave you a dollar?
 
phucheneh said:
How old are you? It sounds like you're both dicks.

Anyone who I'm good enough friends with to go into the wilderness with, I probably don't give a fuck one way or the other about who pays for gas. Real friends don't generally keep track of who owes who a trivial amount of money.

If you were going into a convenience store and your friend was like, 'hey, grab me a soda,' would you stop and wait there until he gave you a dollar?
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this man speaks the truth.
 
I don't mind paying for friends but cheapskates are annoying. If I'm going with someone I offer. If we've been friends a long time then we both know we take turns or whatever, even if it's not counted precisely it all works out fine.

Someone always leeching and not offering would definitely annoy me. Though I don't think anyone would expect me to ask based on my behavior.
 
phucheneh said:
If you were going into a convenience store and your friend was like, 'hey, grab me a soda,' would you stop and wait there until he gave you a dollar?
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But if the same friend did the same thing at 10 convenience stores in a row and then, when you expected him to do the same in return he offers up the "sorry, not enough money" excuse, you'd cut the asshole off. I had a "friend" in high school that was like that. He sponged off everybody, but when it was his turn to pay for a round or pick up the pizza he was too broke and needed to collect from everyone else. So he was removed from the entitlement teat and forced to pay his own way. Guys don't keep score, if I pay $28 for the pizza and beer this time and somebody else pays $22 for the pizza and beer next time we're even. But if I pay $28 this time, $22 the next time when he pleads poverty and then the guy still can't find his wallet the third time I damn well know what the score is.
 
thatsright said:
Mid week my friend and I agreed to go to hiking in the white mountains of NH. He does not have a car, and I, of course do. I just want to go for the hike and possible poison ivy. Its about $50 for gas up and back. When I thought about this, I asked if he could chip in $20. He was insulted and said that's the only reason why I asked him to go. Was I an A hole to ask? Its not like I waited until we got back from the trip and see if he would offer on his own.
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Road Trip Rules: everyone chips in. How long this leech been sucking off you?
 
The way you texted comes off as douche when I read it. How hard was it to be like:
Can you chip in $20 for gas tomorrow?

The Will and the So just make it come off rude. Either way though he should offer but again a lot of that will depend on your relationship with the guy.
 
The people who think you (OP) aren't being reasonable, are the assholes who always mooch rides off of people and never chip in for gas.

It goes like this: I drive this time, you drive next time. Since other guy doesn't have a car, he has to pitch in. Doesn't matter that you were going anyway, OP didn't even say that. He said "we decided" to go hiking.
 
Triumph said:
The people who think you (OP) aren't being reasonable, are the assholes who always mooch rides off of people and never chip in for gas.

It goes like this: I drive this time, you drive next time. Since other guy doesn't have a car, he has to pitch in. Doesn't matter that you were going anyway, OP didn't even say that. He said "we decided" to go hiking.
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Bullshit. I pay my way always and have no problem paying for others without expecting payback. The fact that his friend replied that he was "predictable" tells me that the OP is cheap. Think Costanza.
 
Triumph said:
The people who think you (OP) aren't being reasonable, are the assholes who always mooch rides off of people and never chip in for gas.

It goes like this: I drive this time, you drive next time. Since other guy doesn't have a car, he has to pitch in. Doesn't matter that you were going anyway, OP didn't even say that. He said "we decided" to go hiking.
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but it wasn't a conditional invite when it was originally extended.

it's like if I tell a friend I've got an extra ticket to a concert if they want to come, they accept, and then the day of the concert I ask them for the ticket value. (charging a friend for the ticket is fine, but if I were going to do it the initial invite would have been framed like "I've got an extra concert ticket, only $40... want to come?")

I've never actually asked/demanded my friends give me gas money when I drive. most offer it up freely and likewise, I'll offer if they're driving on a long trip. if a friend consistently never offers to pay for gas, I just stop driving them.
 
loki8481 said:
but it wasn't a conditional invite when it was originally extended.

it's like if I tell a friend I've got an extra ticket to a concert if they want to come, they accept, and then the day of the concert I ask them for the ticket value. (charging a friend for the ticket is fine, but if I were going to do it the initial invite would have been framed like "I've got an extra concert ticket, only $40... want to come?")

I've never actually asked/demanded my friends give me gas money when I drive. most offer it up freely and likewise, I'll offer if they're driving on a long trip. if a friend consistently never offers to pay for gas, I just stop driving them.
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It's more like you give your friend a ticket to a concert that's 100 miles away and then he calls you cheap when you won't also drive him to it for free.
 
Depends on past dealings. Is this the sort of friendship where you pay and next time he'll get it, or is this the sort of friendship where he is happy to get free stuff but breaks out the calculator if asked to cover his tab?

If its a back and forth thing, yah you're an ass. If you don't have that sort of relationship its perfectly acceptable to expect him to chip in.

Is he the sort of guy who doesn't have a car and sort of expects everyone to drive him everywhere? I knew some of those people in college and they sucked.
 
Midwayman said:
...

Is he the sort of guy who doesn't have a car and sort of expects everyone to drive him everywhere? I knew some of those people in college and they sucked.
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I considered that angle as well but OP wouldn't be here asking the question if that was the case.
 
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