Am I out of line? - Updated. It's all okay.

Listen to me, Beau: I think she's really trying to tell you something. Probe and ask her questions. It could even be that she's anxious to get wedded or something (i.e., she feels it's taking too long). People do things or react a certain way for simple reasons. Then you exclaim: Why didn't you just tell me! But I really think she wants your attention, so as to tell you something.

"Nein, sehe ich kein Problem damit. Frauen sind nicht ehrlich oder treu."

Translates: "No, I see no problem therewith. Women are not honest or faithful."[/i]

Grrr! What's with your sexist comments? No wonder I don't trust men! :|

 

[Mill]

Originally posted by: luvly
Listen to me, Beau: I think she's really trying to tell you something. Probe and ask her questions. It could even be that she's anxious to get wedded or something (i.e., she feels it's taking too long). People do things or react a certain way for simple reasons. Then you exclaim: Why didn't you just tell me! But I really think she wants your attention, so as to tell you something.

"Nein, sehe ich kein Problem damit. Frauen sind nicht ehrlich oder treu."

Translates: "No, I see no problem therewith. Women are not honest or faithful."[/i]

Grrr! What's with your sexist comments? No wonder I don't trust men! :|

Ok.... you realize you just said the same in return? Are you dense?

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: MazerRackham
Dude, if I remember correctly, your fiance is HOT. And I mean REALLY HOT!!

And because she's that hot, you almost can't blame guys, especially ex-bf's, from continually trying to get back with her. It sucks, but it comes with the territory of dating an attractive woman.

I'm learning this, slowly...

My first thought is that she's either incredibly naive, thinking that this guy only wants to be friends, or maybe she is actually interested in him. I hate to say that, but it's got to be a possibility, especially since she's already dated him in the past. You're engaged to her, and everyone gets cold feet at some point, so I think you're just going to have to ride this out and hope she stops these interactions with this guy on her own.

I think the more you suggest that she shouldn't be talking to this guy, the further you're going to push her towards him.

I think you're right on that, which is one reason why I'm venting on here. If I try to confront her with it, it'll just raise more problems. I've told her that I trust her, and I do. I just don't trust him.

Perhaps instead of trying to control the situation by telling her what to do, why don't you just tell her that perhaps if she still wants to talk to old bfs you two can cool it off for a while and she can get it all out of her system first. Also, let her know that when and if she decides she should commit with you, she'd have to give up old bf's because their usually trouble for current relationships.

Let it be her choice but don't put yourself in a helpless situation. You'll only push her away by trying to control this.

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: Roger
My big toe would be two feet up her ass if that was my GF

LMAO

Ausm

 

[olds]

There is no way she's ready to get married. Honest.

 

[Stark]

is beau the guy who used to go out with the blonde sorority chick who always went out and got wasted (so he dumped her), or was that someone else?

and now he's marrying another hot chick (well, maybe)? That's some serious game!

 

[Stark:] "is beau the guy who used to go out with the blonde sorority chick who always went out and got wasted (so he dumped her), or was that someone else?

and now he's marrying another hot chick (well, maybe)? That's some serious game!"

Stark, no. I believe that was Bmacd. He dumped her and wasn't engaged to anyone as of the last I recall reading his post.

Beau is the guy whose [ex] fiancee cheated on him. Then he found this lady (referenced in the original post) that he's been engaged to ever since.

 

[cavemanmoron]

Originally posted by: Beau
Thanks for the advice everyone, I'll let you know what happens.

I'm off for the evening.

best of luck

i live alone,lots less BS

LOTS.

i can offer no good advice,so i will say best of luck,and keep talking,not yelling.

 

[ProUser]

You can ignore every other post, this is your answer:

The EX should *NEVER* be in the picture unless a child is involved.[Period]

I hate to break it to you, but your relationship is as good as over. She obviously has feelings for her EX still, otherwise she would have zero reason to even want to talk to him let alone lie to you. This is your fiance. Would you feel right about talking to your EX's given the fact that you are going to be married? Think about that.

Sorry, I hate to say such a negative thing - but...

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: ProUser
You can ignore every other post, this is your answer:

The EX should *NEVER* be in the picture unless a child is involved.[Period]

I hate to break it to you, but your relationship is as good as over. She obviously has feelings for her EX still, otherwise she would have zero reason to even want to talk to him let alone lie to you. This is your fiance. Would you feel right about talking to your EX's given the fact that you are going to be married? Think about that.

Sorry, I hate to say such a negative thing - but...

But you are 100% correct.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: ProUser
You can ignore every other post, this is your answer:

The EX should *NEVER* be in the picture unless a child is involved.[Period]

I hate to break it to you, but your relationship is as good as over. She obviously has feelings for her EX still, otherwise she would have zero reason to even want to talk to him let alone lie to you. This is your fiance. Would you feel right about talking to your EX's given the fact that you are going to be married? Think about that.

Sorry, I hate to say such a negative thing - but...

But you are 100% correct.

I concur.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: ProUser
You can ignore every other post, this is your answer:

The EX should *NEVER* be in the picture unless a child is involved.[Period]

I hate to break it to you, but your relationship is as good as over. She obviously has feelings for her EX still, otherwise she would have zero reason to even want to talk to him let alone lie to you. This is your fiance. Would you feel right about talking to your EX's given the fact that you are going to be married? Think about that.

Sorry, I hate to say such a negative thing - but...

But that is also 100% moronic

To give up on such a thing as this would be stupid. I talked to her and the ex, told them both how I felt. They both understood, and I'm gonna leave it at that. She wasn't trying to do anything to get my attention. I trust her, and I need to show that.

Turns out she was trying to get a hold of another friend that has dissapeared. Her ex told her this friend (her old best friend from highschool) is living in a trailer with her boyfriend, strung out on cocaine, so they've been trying to find a way to help her out.

 

[olds]

Ouch!
<---- Bumped head as he fell off turnip truck.

 

[ProUser]

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: ProUser
You can ignore every other post, this is your answer:

The EX should *NEVER* be in the picture unless a child is involved.[Period]

I hate to break it to you, but your relationship is as good as over. She obviously has feelings for her EX still, otherwise she would have zero reason to even want to talk to him let alone lie to you. This is your fiance. Would you feel right about talking to your EX's given the fact that you are going to be married? Think about that.

Sorry, I hate to say such a negative thing - but...

But that is also 100% moronic

To give up on such a thing as this would be stupid. I talked to her and the ex, told them both how I felt. They both understood, and I'm gonna leave it at that. She wasn't trying to do anything to get my attention. I trust her, and I need to show that.

Turns out she was trying to get a hold of another friend that has dissapeared. Her ex told her this friend (her old best friend from highschool) is living in a trailer with her boyfriend, strung out on cocaine, so they've been trying to find a way to help her out.

Like I said, I hope I'm wrong. 99% of the times the ex is in the picture, or comes back in the picture, or is in any way involved in a relationship it destroys any new relationships. I sincerely hope you are that 1/100 scenario. However, everyone in that scenario always thinks they are that 1/100 until it all comes down - and they look back and kick themselves for being so ignorant. No offense, but you can even tell from your response you are trying to convince yourself that it is okay - when in fact your very first gut reaction was NO it is NOT okay for my FIANCE's EX to be in the picture.

Always listen to your gut reaction.

Like I said, just my .02 from experience and from seeing this identical thing happen to countless number of friends. Most importantly good luck!