Am I out of line? - Updated. It's all okay.

[Beau]

My fiance has recieved a couple of emails from her ex boyfriend of 3 years, and is writing back to him. It's pissing me off because she continually bad-mouth him, always saying what an ass he is, and that she'll never speak to him again. But, apparently, they've swapped street addresses so they can write eachother. I'm typically not the jealous type, but let's just say that there's reason to be jealous over it (not going into details). I don't care if she talks to any other ex of hers. I still talk to my ex (though I'm trying my damnedest to stop, but I can't until I'm financially separated from her). I tried to tell her how I felt about it and she got mad at me.

Am I out of line for being upset about it?

(and before someone asks, no, I'm not reading her email, she told me about it.)

Update:

All's well. I talked to her and the ex, told them both how I felt. They both understood, and I'm gonna leave it at that. She wasn't trying to do anything to get my attention. I trust her, and I need to show that.


Just me being over protective.

 

[amdskip]

Not out of line at all. You have a right to be ticked off.

 

[Yossarian]

No.

 

My big toe would be two feet up her ass if that was my GF

 

[pyonir]

No you aren't.

 

[Electric Amish]

In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

I didn't ask her to stop. She said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

 

[MaxDepth]

Is this how far it goes?
And she is still willing and ready to marry you, right?
And you trust her to be grown-up and make life-altering decisions for herself and on her own, yes?


Then give it a rest. Jealousy will wreck your marriage before you even say "I do."

 

[Encryptic]

Yeah, I think you have a right to be pissed off if she said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: MaxDepth
Is this how far it goes?
And she is still willing and ready to marry you, right?
And you trust her to be grown-up and make life-altering decisions for herself and on her own, yes?


Then give it a rest. Jealousy will wreck your marriage before you even say "I do."

That's very true. I know..... it's probably nothing. but stil... :|

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

I didn't ask her to stop. She said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

..and you just pointed that out to her?

I guess I don't understand what she got mad about, if you didn't ask her to stop talking with him...

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

I didn't ask her to stop. She said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

..and you just pointed that out to her?

I guess I don't understand what she got mad about, if you didn't ask her to stop talking with him...

I simply said "I thought you weren't going to talk to him anymore." She got all huffy and said something like "Well you still talk to your ex. "

 

[rahvin]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

I didn't ask her to stop. She said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

..and you just pointed that out to her?

I guess I don't understand what she got mad about, if you didn't ask her to stop talking with him...

She probably got mad because it was a sign of Jealosy and lots of people don't even like hints of the green eyed monster.

 

[Beau]

f8ck... she's talking to him on the phone. Which means that she just sent him her phone number (she just had it changed.)

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: Beau
f8ck... she's talking to him on the phone. Which means that she just sent him her phone number (she just had it changed.)

Now she is out of line.

 

[BatmanNate]

What worries me is that when you were up front about it and tried talking to her she became angry. That makes me think something more than meets the eye may be taking place and your worries may have merit to them.

 

[Mill]

Out of line? Maybe or Maybe not. It really depends on if the guy is trying to get back with her or not. I still talk to a former girlfriend of mine even though she is married. Her husband doesn't like it, but he can go fvck himself. We were friends before we ever dated and that is all we are now. I would never purposely do anything to hurt a marriage anyways.

It is different if the guy or the girl is trying to hide it from their SO. If they are just friends or catching up on old times I see nothing wrong with it. I understand you are jealous and that is totally valid. Just tell her it makes you jealous but you trust her. That way you gain brownie points.

 

[PG]

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

I didn't ask her to stop. She said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

..and you just pointed that out to her?

I guess I don't understand what she got mad about, if you didn't ask her to stop talking with him...

I simply said "I thought you weren't going to talk to him anymore." She got all huffy and said something like "Well you still talk to your ex. "

This is the real reason she's mad and upset. You haven't stopped talking to your ex either!!

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: Millennium
Out of line? Maybe or Maybe not. It really depends on if the guy is trying to get back with her or not. I still talk to a former girlfriend of mine even though she is married. Her husband doesn't like it, but he can go fvck himself. We were friends before we ever dated and that is all we are now. I would never purposely do anything to hurt a marriage anyways.

But he is the kind of person to do that.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: PG

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
In my opinion, you are both out of line.

She shouldn't have gotten pissed at you for asking her to stop. You probably shouldn't have asked her to stop.

amish

I didn't ask her to stop. She said she wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

..and you just pointed that out to her?

I guess I don't understand what she got mad about, if you didn't ask her to stop talking with him...

I simply said "I thought you weren't going to talk to him anymore." She got all huffy and said something like "Well you still talk to your ex. "

This is the real reason she's mad and upset. You haven't stopped talking to your ex either!!

I only talk to her when there's been a change in our financial relationship (still have a couple credit cards to pay off together). She knows that. It's not like I call her up to "chat" with her.

 

[nativesunshine]

Originally posted by: Millennium

It is different if the guy or the girl is trying to hide it from their SO. If they are just friends or catching up on old times I see nothing wrong with it. I understand you are jealous and that is totally valid. Just tell her it makes you jealous but you trust her. That way you gain brownie points.

ahem...

wow..that hit a little close to home.

but let's not get into that again.

 

[weezergirl]

Have you just tried telling her everything you feel? I mean you are making valid points...if she does not see that, you have to wonder if she is good marriage material. She doesn't even seem to try and understand how you are feeling.

If you haven't, you NEED to tell her that you trust her, but you find it odd that she would want to talk to her ex even though supposedly she "hates" him and said she would never talk to him again, and it makes you feel uncomfortable knowing this. Did she even explain why she is talking to him again? Perhaps there is a valid reason such as the reason you have for talking to your ex.

Make sure she understands why you talk to your ex as well if she doesn't already know. It's totally different.

It is good that she wasn't hiding it from you though.

 

[mjquilly]

to the curb!!!!

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: BatmanNate
What worries me is that when you were up front about it and tried talking to her she became angry. That makes me think something more than meets the eye may be taking place and your worries may have merit to them.

After having dealt w/a cheating spouse...I concur.

 

[JJWalker]

My suggestion is, get your ass off ATOT and get on with your life. Perhaps there's a reason why she's looking for attention elsewhere. Like 11,724 reasons.