Am I a bad son-in-law?

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SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,675
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www.neftastic.com
My in-laws decided to surprise us today - actually we knew they were coming, but wasn't supposed to be until this weekend. I've been avoiding answering my phone while my mother-in-law had tried to call about a bazillion times over the last few days.

So roll up to about an hour ago, driving my wife home from a Dr. appointment and we realize the car in front of us is the in-laws. FML.

Now the "am I a bad son-in-law" part. The in-laws get out of the car, "mom" comes and greets my wife while "dad" is strolling toward the house with a fresh case of beer in tow. Peace offering? No - cause neither my wife nor myself like beer. What is it then? Easy - my father-in-law is a fucking oblivious alcoholic who (unfortunately) only managed to almost kill himself in DWI car wrecks not once but twice.

Being the most absolutely subtle person I generally am, I make sure to voice to my wife loud enough that I'm certain it to be heard that he's not bringing that shit into the house.

So am I simply an ungracious host or a bad son-in-law?

BTW: I have absolutely no issue with beer, I just don't like the taste of it. But in this case I would have done the exact same thing had it been any other alcoholic beverage in his hands, save maybe an obvious "gift" type bottle of wine or whatnot. I don't believe I have ever seen this man without some sort of alcoholic beverage in his hands.

Update 5/27/2010: They went home anticlimactically.
 
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her209

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,336
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Since you're boinking their daughter, yes.

Oh, and pics of the wife.
 
child of wonder

child of wonder

Diamond Member
Aug 31, 2006
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Having a mother in law that hails from some realm of hell, I do not believe you are a bad son in law.

Your house -- your rules.
 
Azraele

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
That's a tough one. They're both family and guests, so you're expected to be a gracious host. However, this guy's been in DWI wrecks twice, and knowing what you've said about him, it would irritate me to have him bring alcohol under my roof. Drinking and driving is bad, period. I'd have to say your house, you control what substances are brought under your roof, but try to say no as diplomatically as possible. (? dunno how well that would work, but eh)
 
SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,675
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www.neftastic.com
Oh, since it appears to be causing some confusion I should clarify. When I say he's a fucking oblivious alcoholic, I mean it. He knows it, his wife knows it, and everyone around him knows it. He's tried his 12-step program, but I believe steps 2 through 12 all involved beer with him. His wife has pretty much given up fighting it and is just waiting for either his liver to fail or the car wreck he doesn't walk away from.

And further, there's little love lost for him - he's my wife's stepfather. That's only the tip of the dirty laundry pile, and all that need be known.
 
Blackjack200

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
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SunnyD said:
Sure. I actually enjoy staying sober and watching shitfaced people make fools out of themselves (provided I don't get puked on).

Plus if there's margaritas involved, I'm game.
Click to expand...

See, I have the opposite experience. When I'm sober, drunk people are obnoxious. But when I'm hammered, sober people are incredibly entertaining.
 
SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,675
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www.neftastic.com
her209 said:
Since you're boinking their daughter, yes.

Oh, and pics of the wife.
Click to expand...

Stepfather. Not his daughter. And pics have been posted before - I don't have any handy.

Blackjack200 said:
and MIL.
Click to expand...

Trust me.

do-not-want-dog.jpg
 
S

SR1729

Senior member
Jan 11, 2010
602
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SunnyD said:
Sure. I actually enjoy staying sober and watching shitfaced people make fools out of themselves (provided I don't get puked on).

Plus if there's margaritas involved, I'm game.
Click to expand...

I should hook you up with my brother in law. In addition to beer (which hurts is sensitive tummy), he also hates steak and poker. He loves Oprah though and is a self-proclaimed man's man. Not sure how he arrived at that, though.

Anyway all ribbing aside, a man's house is his castle. Your house, your roof, your rules. Given his history and everyone's apparent animosity toward him, you could have easily stepped between him and your front door without ever coming close to entering "asshole" territory.
 
G

GlacierFreeze

Golden Member
May 23, 2005
1,125
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Nope, not a bad son-in-law.

I hate being around "annoying" alcoholics, especially since I had to deal with it for the first 14 years of my life.

I'd say the same to my own father if he tried bringing alcohol in my house.
 
SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,675
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www.neftastic.com
SR1729 said:
I should hook you up with my brother in law. In addition to beer (which hurts is sensitive tummy), he also hates steak and poker. He loves Oprah though and is a self-proclaimed man's man. Not sure how he arrived at that, though.

Anyway all ribbing aside, a man's house is his castle. Your house, your roof, your rules. Given his history and everyone's apparent animosity toward him, you could have easily stepped between him and your front door without ever coming close to entering "asshole" territory.
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WTF is wrong with your brother-in-law? I believe the term is "Metrosexual."

I have a sensitive asshole (oh god, I can see where this thread is gonna go now) but that doesn't stop me from eating spicy shit. Steak and poker are just fine by me. Hell, a rum and coke on the side (just not coke zero) while eating said steak and playing poker sounds like a great night.

Seriously, I'm not an uptight prick (most of the time). I have kids, particularly two young girls, and the last thing I want is some 60 year old drunk-ass alcoholic needing a beatdown because he looks at one of my girls the wrong way.
 
Blackjack200

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,688
126
SunnyD said:
Trust me.

do-not-want-dog.jpg
Click to expand...

Haha, I love that. Also, the one where the old dude is leaning way back in his chair.

SR1729 said:
I should hook you up with my brother in law. In addition to beer (which hurts is sensitive tummy), he also hates steak and poker. He loves Oprah though and is a self-proclaimed man's man. Not sure how he arrived at that, though.
Click to expand...

Poker doesn't belong with beer and steak. Poker sucks.
 
I

ichy

Diamond Member
Oct 5, 2006
6,940
8
81
IMO you were completely in the right. I wouldn't allow some drunk who'd gotten in two DUI wrecks to bring beer into my house either, and I love beer.
 
MJinZ

MJinZ

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2009
8,192
0
0
SunnyD said:
Oh, since it appears to be causing some confusion I should clarify. When I say he's a fucking oblivious alcoholic, I mean it. He knows it, his wife knows it, and everyone around him knows it. He's tried his 12-step program, but I believe steps 2 through 12 all involved beer with him. His wife has pretty much given up fighting it and is just waiting for either his liver to fail or the car wreck he doesn't walk away from.

And further, there's little love lost for him - he's my wife's stepfather. That's only the tip of the dirty laundry pile, and all that need be known.
Click to expand...

Dude, sit down with him and have a serious discussion. It never hurts to try to address communication issues first.
 
S

SR1729

Senior member
Jan 11, 2010
602
0
0
SunnyD said:
Seriously, I'm not an uptight prick (most of the time). I have kids, particularly two young girls, and the last thing I want is some 60 year old drunk-ass alcoholic needing a beatdown because he looks at one of my girls the wrong way.
Click to expand...

My wife's parents hang around a lot of chronic drunks, and when her brother's (not the same brother in law previous mentioned) graduation party came up, I warned her ahead of time that we'd be leaving the moment the first piece of furniture was upended. We lasted about 45 minutes.

As for the other brother in law, I don't know what his deal is. He actually came up in another thread today because, in addition to being a closet case, he's also a cheap son of a bitch. He's my answer to "you can fight one person and no one will hold it against you question". I'd stand on his neck.
 
waggy

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
coming from one bad SIL to another you sure are. =)

do i blame you? fuck no. your house your rules.
 
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