Acts of God

[Spydermag68]

A United States Marine was attending some college
courses between assignments. He had completed missions
in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a
professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the
ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came
in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God,
if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this
platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin
drop. Ten
minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I
am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the
Marine got
out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and
cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The
professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there,
silently. The other students were shocked and stunned
and sat there looking on in silence. The professor
eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the
Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with
you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today
protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to
say stupid ****** and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

 

[blackllotus]

2/10 I don't understand how questioning the existence of God makes one an asshole

 

[Doctor Nyse]

You lose.

 

[TecHNooB]

nice!

 

[SoundTheSurrender]

This thread doesn't deliver.

 

[drinkmorejava]

:thumbsup:

 

[GagHalfrunt]

-1/10 Just plain stupid.

 

[DainBramaged]

I fully support our troops in Iraq, but that was sorta dumb.

 

[us3rnotfound]

Originally posted by: SoundTheSurrender
This thread doesn't deliver.

 

[PottedMeat]

Where's the rest of the story where the guy gets charged with assault?

Pretty lame joke to hit someone because they're an athiest or ACLU member.

Acutally, nevermind:

LOLLERCAUST!!!

 

[Spydermag68]

tough room

 

[SonnyDaze]

Lol!!

 

[DaveSimmons]

As a joke, 5/10

As reality, snopes.com

 

[Rob9874]

The atheists are going to say that was dumb. I say the prof proved the existence of God.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Meh. I gave God 15 minutes 20 minutes ago and nothing happened to me. Does this trick only work when there are religious folk around?

 

[TehMac]

It amazes me how many belligerent atheists there are. And you got the joke wrong, OP.
The marine simply said, "God was busy, so he sent me."
None of that propaganda crap.
But on that note, I fully support the war. Now sue me.

 

[doze]

Bad joke ... nice story

 

[Jeff7]

"God was too busy today
protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to
say stupid ****** and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."


Meanwhile, those soldiers who die in combat, um, well....God blinked. He was syncing His IPod. He was distracted by something. He didn't like those people. He was being nice to them by calling them to Heaven.

Originally posted by: Rob9874
The atheists are going to say that was dumb. I say the prof proved the existence of God.

Or he just found proof that people will act willingly upon the violent little voices in their heads.
"But your honor, God told me to hit him! You can't rule against God!"

 

[homercles337]

10e-10 / 10 :disgust:

For the OP, thats 0.0000000001 on your "joke" thread rating. Do the math, if you can.

 

[mugs]

I laughed.

 

[SketchMaster]

:laugh:

 

[Rogodin2]

The problem is that God has a hardon for Marines and as we're trained we kill everything we see.

Rogo

 

[tasmanian]

Just ok.

 

[dighn]

might have been somewhat funny without the political preaching

 

[AnthroAndStargate]

LMFAO! I'm glad to see our public education system is still producing such fine works of literary achievement. He had to be a member of the ACLU too right? I think they also try to protect the freedoms? And not all of our freedoms that exist in Iraq.... I think we live in America? :roll: