Acts of God

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar
S

ShotgunSteven

Lifer
May 31, 2001
15,326
2
0
Sounds like a variant on the theme of the man trapped on the roof of his home while the flood waters rage around him. He prayed to God to save him. After a while, a boat came by, but he waved them off, saying, "God will save me!" The waters continued to rise, the man kept praying, and a second boat came by. Again, he waved them off, saying, "God will save me!" The waters had nearly reached the peak of the roof where he was, and a helicopter came by. He waved them off, saying, "Don't worry, God will save me!" The waters then swept the man off of his roof and he drowned.

When he arrived in Heaven, he asked God, "God! I prayed to you and believed that you were going to save me, but you let me drown! Why did you do that!?"

God looked at him and said, "You idiot, I sent two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?"
 
Mo0o

Mo0o

Lifer
Jul 31, 2001
24,227
3
76
Was this suppoes to be a joke? And I had no idea God could be "too busy"

This one joke has quite a few flamebait topics. Goodjob on the flamebait density
 
L

loic2003

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
3,844
0
0
Originally posted by: Rob9874
The atheists are going to say that was dumb. I say the prof proved the existence of God.
Click to expand...
I say you're completely wrong. He proved that god only exists in the eyes of indoctrinated, closed minded people who clearly hate being shown to be fools who have been treating fantasy stories as real. Don't forget that god is supposedly all powerful, hence couldn't be 'busy'.
It clearly shows how religion makes people aggressive where they otherwise wouldn't be. A lecturer tries to make a point, and one hell of a jerk decides to viciously assault the guy. It's fvcking sick.
 
JEDIYoda

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,986
3,321
126
Originally posted by: Spydermag68
A United States Marine was attending some college
courses between assignments. He had completed missions
in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a
professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the
ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came
in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God,
if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this
platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin
drop. Ten
minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I
am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the
Marine got
out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and
cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The
professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there,
silently. The other students were shocked and stunned
and sat there looking on in silence. The professor
eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the
Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with
you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today
protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to
say stupid ****** and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."
Click to expand...

old but very appropriate!!
 
JEDIYoda

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,986
3,321
126
Originally posted by: Spydermag68
A United States Marine was attending some college
courses between assignments. He had completed missions
in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a
professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the
ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came
in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God,
if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this
platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin
drop. Ten
minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I
am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the
Marine got
out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and
cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The
professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there,
silently. The other students were shocked and stunned
and sat there looking on in silence. The professor
eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the
Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with
you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today
protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to
say stupid ****** and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."
Click to expand...

old but very appropriate!!
 
Siddhartha

Siddhartha

Lifer
Oct 17, 1999
12,505
3
81
Originally posted by: Spydermag68
A United States Marine was attending some college
courses between assignments. He had completed missions
in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a
professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the
ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came
in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God,
if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this
platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin
drop. Ten
minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I
am God. I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the
Marine got
out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and
cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The
professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there,
silently. The other students were shocked and stunned
and sat there looking on in silence. The professor
eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the
Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with
you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today
protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to
say stupid ****** and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."
Click to expand...

I will supply the Cliff notes:

Some jerk hit someone because he did not like what that person said.
 
M

Mucho

Guest
Oct 20, 2001
8,231
2
0
Don't forget to say a prayer for all the infidels at ATOA at sunday school today.
 
D

deepred98

Golden Member
Sep 3, 2005
1,246
0
0
Originally posted by: TehMac
It amazes me how many belligerent atheists there are. And you got the joke wrong, OP.
The marine simply said, "God was busy, so he sent me."
None of that propaganda crap.
But on that note, I fully support the war. Now sue me.
Click to expand...

yeah the propaganda crap really killed it
othewise 4/10
 
A

AlienCraft

Lifer
Nov 23, 2002
10,539
0
0
Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven
Sounds like a variant on the theme of the man trapped on the roof of his home while the flood waters rage around him. He prayed to God to save him. After a while, a boat came by, but he waved them off, saying, "God will save me!" The waters continued to rise, the man kept praying, and a second boat came by. Again, he waved them off, saying, "God will save me!" The waters had nearly reached the peak of the roof where he was, and a helicopter came by. He waved them off, saying, "Don't worry, God will save me!" The waters then swept the man off of his roof and he drowned.

When he arrived in Heaven, he asked God, "God! I prayed to you and believed that you were going to save me, but you let me drown! Why did you do that!?"

God looked at him and said, "You idiot, I sent two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?"
Click to expand...

This is funny, the other one is suspect.

One religious zealot is as bad as another.

 
P

PokerGuy

Lifer
Jul 2, 2005
13,650
201
101
Hmmm... perhaps if I re-read the joke a few more times I might detect some humor in it. That was stupid......
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

COMPANY
RESOURCES
FOLLOW
Top Bottom