- Jul 28, 2006
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Read this article and didn't think much of it. And then tonight it occurred to me that it is the perfect fit for politics.
Read the 'bad signs' and think about how many times we do that with the people who we voted for.
Maybe this explains why so many people want to throw every one out of congress and start over.
Just the good stuff.
Read the 'bad signs' and think about how many times we do that with the people who we voted for.
Maybe this explains why so many people want to throw every one out of congress and start over.
Just the good stuff.
You make excuses for him
Of course, the real issue is not that you dont see the signs its that you dont want to see the signs and consequently make all kinds of excuses for the guys behavior. For example, if he hasnt called in days, you try to convince yourself theres a good reason: Well, maybe he lost my number. Or his phone is broken. Or he lost his cell phone and thats where my number is. Or maybe hes really busy at work, or hes been in an accident, or he has laryngitis, or
You dismiss bad behavior
Barbara Davilman knows all about this kind of self-foolery. Davilman, who is coeditor of What Was I Thinking? 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories, became an expert at rationalizing her exs bad behavior. When I was 27, I stayed with a guy for five years even though he would see me only twice a week specifically, on Wednesday and Sunday nights, she says. Plus, he didnt have his own phone, so I had to wait for him to call me when he could.
According to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, women often have a very hard time ending relationships, even if deep down they know theyre unhealthy. They fear change, they fear being single or they think they wont find anyone better, says Tessina. So instead, a woman will remind herself of a guys good qualities and block out the bad.
You believe a passionate encounter always equals love
You might think that its just a matter of winning the guy over and that once thats done, hell be more attentive. This is what Lisa Mann, 45, was banking on with a man she dated when she was 38. There were warning signs from the beginning, but I figured the transformative power of love my love was great, she says. We had a lot of passionate encounters, which I assumed would tone down into a mellow sort of relationship as our bond grew but in fact, he started wanting to see me less and less, and when we did see each other, it was mostly a physical thing.
And that partially answers the question of why a guy whos not that into you would stick around at all. Its a no-commitment way for a guy to get your attention, Tessina says.
