Then I have my answer. You are afraid to admit Jesus existed. Even if he was nothing more than in itinerant preacher built up into something else, the very fact you cannot accept Jesus as even a historical person means you know, without being able to admit it, that Jesus was real. By admitting His existence, you take the first step towards faith, something your atheism abhors. By burying your fear in absolute denial of His very existence, you put lie to your own beliefs.
Yes, you are a man of faith and belief. You can deny it no longer. I can only proay you come to accept that facet of your life.
(Romans 10:9-10) "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. {10} For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."