85% of New College Grads Move Back in with Mom

[IceBergSLiM]

Fuck having roommates. I never did that either. I worked and paid my own way. I may not have always lived as well as I'd have liked, but I made it through. When I got married, we often struggled as well...but that's life. There are no guarantees that life as an adult will be as good or better than it was as a kid...and parents certainly have no legal or moral obligation to support the child once he/she reaches the age of majority.
Too gawd-damned many kids nowadays want to keep sucking on mommy's tit until they're in their 30's...or later.

u mad bro?

 

[BoomerD]

u mad bro?

Me? Nah...

 

[thegimp03]

85% = wow. Understandable with college costs up so much over the past 10-15 years and companies either not hiring or being able to be very very picky with their hires over the last couple of years. I know some people who are like 3-4 years out of college and got laid off during the recession and they had to apply for jobs that normally college grads would be hired for. From the company's standpoint, they'd rather have someone with experience under their belt than a new graduate who has zero experience under their belt, and pay them the same salary because they're desperate.

 

[actuarial]

So just charge kids rent. That's what my parents did.

At 18 it was either college or rent. Now we didn't pay a lot in rent, but it certainly covered our food/utilities so they weren't any worse off financially for us being there (probably slightly better). Certainly I paid less than market rent though.

So they weren't worse off financially (ie. not a sponge) but they were still helping us out. My brother stayed until he was about 21 then moved out to go to college. I went to college at 18 but paid rent while on summer vacation and for a month between graduation and moving into my own place.

 

[sdifox]

I didn't move out til I got married. I paid house bills though.

 

[McWatt]

I don't think there's a particular reason to believe the 85% figure mentioned in the Time article. It's a reference to a poll (warning sign #1) collected by a marketing consulting firm trying to make a name for themselves by getting headlines (warning sign #2, follow the link to their site to see their rather amateurish presentation and emphasis on being mentioned by news outlets). Finally, since the study wasn't academic, the methodology wasn't reported (warning sign #3).

I think this falls in the category of "85% of statistics are made up." Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and "TwentySomething Consulting & Research" has shown us none. It's a waste of mindshare to assume the claim has any merit without some sort of justification.

And to join the "get off my lawn" crowd: From 2002-2007ish I lived on 24k per year in a $900/month apartment, ate incredibly well because I like to cook and lived near Monterey Market, and flew to New York to spend every other weekend with my girlfriend. The only difference I see in the cost of living now would be the flights, which are now 50% more expensive. Throughout those years I built up a small savings, as well.

 

[irishScott]

Depends on the degree and situation. I'm a Computer Engineering major and my parents are paying tuition+basic living expenses, which, in a couple of years = decent salary + no loans.

Maybe I'm the exception rather than the rule, but I wouldn't live at home to save my life. Now people with fine arts degrees and/or lots of loans and such I can see being stuck in that situation.

 

[irishScott]

85% = wow. Understandable with college costs up so much over the past 10-15 years and companies either not hiring or being able to be very very picky with their hires over the last couple of years. I know some people who are like 3-4 years out of college and got laid off during the recession and they had to apply for jobs that normally college grads would be hired for. From the company's standpoint, they'd rather have someone with experience under their belt than a new graduate who has zero experience under their belt, and pay them the same salary because they're desperate.

Getting hired is also more a matter of contacts than grades, especially for most Arts and Sciences degrees. Most people assume good grades = job, and then get all pissy when the guy with a 2.6 who knew the right people starts at 1.5x their salary. It takes active coordination with professors among many other things to cultivate a network, and most college kids are simply too busy drinking.

 

[ichy]

on my 15th birthday, I think I got an N64.

shocker of shockers, I grew up to be a fine, upstanding adult who's responsible and financially secure.

sorry, I'll get off your lawn now.

I was gonna say, Spidey's story doesn't impress me. Lots of parents are over-indulgent, but if you have a kid then it's your obligation to provide housing, food & healthcare until they're 18. Parents who expect their kids to pay their own way before they're old enough to legally drive a car shouldn't complain when they're abandoned in a crappy nursing home in their old age.

 

[PingSpike]

About the only assumptions I'm going to make are these....

Those of us with "Boomer" parents had parents that largely lived in a time where dual incomes were just starting to take off. The rampant rise in housing, daycare, and vehicle costs hadn't fully taken effect. And our parents didn't have the college education mantra beaten into our head from a young age or a degree as a requirement for many non-trades oriented professions. They had pension plans offered by employers and health care plans and costs that were much lower. Wages in comparision to living costs for them were higher.

All of the inflation(living costs, house prices, education requirments, ect) just keeps growing for each generation. I truly feel sorry for a lot of kids that have graduated over the last couple years. They got dealt a shit deck of cards.

As a parent and someone who actually understands the burden that a lot of these new grads face vs what I did, or my parents did, or my grandparents did I'm not going to take the hard line approach of "18 and out". It's just not setting up my kids for a better life down the road.

I will encourage if not outright force them to get a job in high school to pay for their gadgets and spending cash. And try to instill a proper work ethic in them. And I will try what I can to reinforce the value of good grades & scholarships. And I will try to steer them towards more value oriented education (state schools vs private), encourage a sound career path, and pay for what I can to keep them out of college debt.

And when they are done with school, I'd still be fine with them living under my roof for a year or two and knock down student debt or pay off a reasonably priced vehicle and get money saved up to truely live on their own and not get into a cycle of debt and monthly payments like so many people do.

Kids graduating from school right now do not have the same cost of living and purchasing power that their parents did at a similar age. Trying to apply the same principals as their parents did is not a fair comparison.

That's my feeling as well. Kids today can't get by on just being as good as their parents (or rather, how good their parents like to pretend they were at that age!). They're going to have to be better, because the world is worse. Unfortunately, all anyone has done for them is blown smoke up their asses and encouraged them to cut their own throats with massive amounts of student loans that can't even be discharged in bankruptcy.

 

[Zen0]

I was gonna say, Spidey's story doesn't impress me. Lots of parents are over-indulgent, but if you have a kid then it's your obligation to provide housing, food & healthcare until they're 18. Parents who expect their kids to pay their own way before they're old enough to legally drive a car shouldn't complain when they're abandoned in a crappy nursing home in their old age.

Yea, no kidding!

Parents need to realize one thing - kids are not only THE future, but THEIR future.

When you decide to have kids, they are an continuation of you. When you decide to fuck with your kids, you're just shooting yourself in the cosmic nuts (literally), and fucking your own future. Hey, if you're cool with no one giving a shit about you when you're a bag of flesh in your 80s, props to you (because WE certainly do not care about your useless old ass).

"BoomerD" and others who clearly have failures of parents in this thread are great examples of what kind of people they actually ended up becoming themselves. Look through their threads and you'll see negativity, racism, and bigotry throughout.

Me? My parents raised me on Apples, and I have clearly become a shining example of Apple Fanboyism.

 

[jhbball]

On my 15th birthday my dad told me get a job or don't bother coming home. I hated him for that, now I thank him.

And look at you now. LOL.

 

[ichy]

Yea, no kidding!

Parents need to realize one thing - kids are not only THE future, but THEIR future.

When you decide to have kids, they are an continuation of you. When you decide to fuck with your kids, you're just shooting yourself in the cosmic nuts (literally), and fucking your own future. Hey, if you're cool with no one giving a shit about you when you're a bag of flesh in your 80s, props to you (because WE certainly do not care about your useless old ass).

"BoomerD" and others who clearly have failures of parents in this thread are great examples of what kind of people they actually ended up becoming themselves. Look through their threads and you'll see negativity, racism, and bigotry throughout.

Me? My parents raised me on Apples, and I have clearly become a shining example of Apple Fanboyism.

People go overboard in both directions. I've had friends who arrived at college not knowing how to do their own laundry because their parents always took care of it for them, IMO that kind of overindulgent parenting isn't the way to go either.

 

[BoomerD]

Yea, no kidding!

Parents need to realize one thing - kids are not only THE future, but THEIR future.

When you decide to have kids, they are an continuation of you. When you decide to fuck with your kids, you're just shooting yourself in the cosmic nuts (literally), and fucking your own future. Hey, if you're cool with no one giving a shit about you when you're a bag of flesh in your 80s, props to you (because WE certainly do not care about your useless old ass).

"BoomerD" and others who clearly have failures of parents in this thread are great examples of what kind of people they actually ended up becoming themselves. Look through their threads and you'll see negativity, racism, and bigotry throughout.

Me? My parents raised me on Apples, and I have clearly become a shining example of Apple Fanboyism.

No blame to my parents for my life choices.

I didn't have to drop out of high school to enlist in the Corps...I made that choice of my own free will.

As for not moving back in with my mom, (divorced) I was an adult...I believed then, as I do today, that adults should not sponge off their parents.
If you're not supporting yourself, you're sponging off someone. You may pay some of the bills at your parents' house, you may pay some form of rent, but if those amounts are less than you'd pay to live on your own, you're sponging off your parents.

Kids, the most protected group of parasites in the country.

 

[AstroManLuca]

No blame to my parents for my life choices.

I didn't have to drop out of high school to enlist in the Corps...I made that choice of my own free will.

As for not moving back in with my mom, (divorced) I was an adult...I believed then, as I do today, that adults should not sponge off their parents.
If you're not supporting yourself, you're sponging off someone. You may pay some of the bills at your parents' house, you may pay some form of rent, but if those amounts are less than you'd pay to live on your own, you're sponging off your parents.

Kids, the most protected group of parasites in the country.

So instead of sponging off your parents you sponged off the military (aka the US taxpayers).

Well, everyone has to get by somehow I suppose. Fresh out of college, in debt, not making enough money yet? You could force yourself to get deeper in debt, or enlist in the military, or swallow your pride and live with your parents until you get back on your feet. But I guess some people's egos are too big to choke down and they have to live on their own even if it's a bad decision.

 

[spidey07]

So instead of sponging off your parents you sponged off the military (aka the US taxpayers).

Well, everyone has to get by somehow I suppose. Fresh out of college, in debt, not making enough money yet? You could force yourself to get deeper in debt, or enlist in the military, or swallow your pride and live with your parents until you get back on your feet. But I guess some people's egos are too big to choke down and they have to live on their own even if it's a bad decision.

Acting like an adult, when you are supposed to be one is never a bad decision.

 

[BoomerD]

So instead of sponging off your parents you sponged off the military (aka the US taxpayers).

Well, everyone has to get by somehow I suppose. Fresh out of college, in debt, not making enough money yet? You could force yourself to get deeper in debt, or enlist in the military, or swallow your pride and live with your parents until you get back on your feet. But I guess some people's egos are too big to choke down and they have to live on their own even if it's a bad decision.

I think I earned my keep while in the Corps...They paid me to kill Vietnamese...and I did my job very well.

It's not about ego...it's about being an adult and supporting yourself...even if it means you don't live as well as you would by living with mommy and daddy.

 

[vi edit]

Acting like an adult, when you are supposed to be one is never a bad decision.

If my kid is living cheap under my roof while pulling down a legitimate job, paying down debt and saving up for a place of their own that's more "acting like an adult" than many adults.

We aren't talking 20 something children who play WoW all night, do nothing during the day and have no goal in life.

 

[Ms. DICKINSON]

Gotta do what you have to do: Senior citizen scams. Spit on my diploma.

 

[nageov3t]

I'd like to think that most parents want the best for their kids -- if only to ensure that their genetic code gets passed on to future generations.

some parents see "the best" as throwing their kids into the deep end of the pool with no support and forcing them to sink or swim.

some parents see "the best" as making sure their kids start off their adult life on a secure platform.

I don't think either way is particularly better or worse... but again, we're not talking about the people who live in their mom's basement playing World of Warcraft and having their parents cook, clean, etc for them while they work a minimum wage job and don't try to get ahead at all.

 

[AstroManLuca]

I'd like to think that most parents want the best for their kids -- if only to ensure that their genetic code gets passed on to future generations.

some parents see "the best" as throwing their kids into the deep end of the pool with no support and forcing them to sink or swim.

some parents see "the best" as making sure their kids start off their adult life on a secure platform.

I don't think either way is particularly better or worse... but again, we're not talking about the people who live in their mom's basement playing World of Warcraft and having their parents cook, clean, etc for them while they work a minimum wage job and don't try to get ahead at all.

Exactly. I wouldn't have been able to get away with this. After high school, every time I was at my parents' house for more than a couple days, my mom would give me hell unless I either had a job or was actively searching for one. I hated it and wanted desperately to get out. Seems like it worked out fine - I had proper motivation to do something with my life instead of just leeching with no real consequences.

Towards the end of college I did an internship overseas. Of course when I came back I had no savings, no job lined up, and one class left before I could graduate. What was I supposed to do in that situation, just live in a cardboard box? Get a bunch of credit cards and pay my rent, tuition, food, and other expenses by racking up huge amounts of high-interest debt? Ask my parents to front me the money for rent because it's better to live in an apartment than to live at home, even though living at home costs nothing?

I wouldn't dream of staying there for a long time, nor would they. That would have sucked. But there's a huge difference between shacking up for just long enough to find a good job and moving in semi-permanently because it's more comfortable than what you can afford on minimum wage.

The only thing that's really changed is that these days, things cost more and wages haven't gone up much, and it's harder to find jobs at all. So the living at home phase is going to last a bit longer on average than it used to.

 

[nageov3t]

Exactly. I wouldn't have been able to get away with this. After high school, every time I was at my parents' house for more than a couple days, my mom would give me hell unless I either had a job or was actively searching for one. I hated it and wanted desperately to get out. Seems like it worked out fine - I had proper motivation to do something with my life instead of just leeching with no real consequences.

yup.

my parents rules for my sister and I were that we had to keep full-time jobs (or be actively looking for one) and putting at least half of our income towards paying off debt or building up savings (in addition to helping out our parents with whatever they needed as far as cooking, cleaning, chores, and errands go)

it was great that I went into my first apartment with no debt and a nice chunk of emergency savings... I'm not sure what I would have gained by getting kicked out and collecting welfare/food stamps/section 8 because it was the only way to survive.

years later, my sister and I are both living on our own, working full-time, and are financially secure/responsible.