85% of New College Grads Move Back in with Mom

[timosyy]

Hm.

I graduated last May, and I live with my parents. I do have a very well-paying job (looking at my personal finances/expenses at the moment, I could afford an apartment/townhouse & a car with enough for personal spending/food left over), and no college debt.

I'm Asian, though, and the cultural norm for me is to live with my parents and take care of them. I actually want to move out, but my parents want me to stay a few more years (which admittedly is doing amazing things for my savings account). People shouldn't be so quick to apply assumptions to data.

Also, I don't get why parents and their children are supposed to be at war with each other. Living in my parents house is mutually beneficial as far as I can see. In Taiwan (where I'm from) you often have grandparents living in the same house as their working grandchildren (so three generations in the same house).

 

[darkswordsman17]

I had to move back home, and unfortunately it turned into an extended stay as there's been a major family illness and a bunch of other stuff. Not sure if I got lucky that it happened at a time when I didn't have a job and so I could be around, or if I'm totally screwed for like the next 10 years. Probably both.

 

[Powermoloch]

lol it's life. I'm still living with my parent, hell I even helped out in the house while i'm finishing up my BSN degree.

Then again, it's an asian thing

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

While I think we agree on most issues(such as trade schools, useless social science degrees, and others), I think your view on this issue is ridiculous.

I would argue that it's the other way around.
Children these days treat their parents like crap and put them out on an ice flow as soon as their parents become an inconvenience because their parents treated them the same way.

I think we're saying the same thing. American society (and the middle class) went into the dumpster when both mom and pop HAD to work just to pay the bills, forget about 'getting ahead.' We're still trying to find a solution for caring for our children that doesn't cost $15k a year and up that creates well adjusted happy 'youts' who don't want to hold their parents forever responsible for their lack of childhood.

It's a hard question that school doesn't address and, like most hard questions, is avoided like the plague by 'yout's' obsessing over the 'right' degree from the 'right' university so they can start off on the 'right' financial path.

 

[Brigandier]

What the hell is that supposed to even mean?

I moved back in w/ my parents sr year, couldn't find a real job with my CS degree, got a master's while living at home and got a great job after that and moved out. I don't really see anything wrong with moving back into your parents' place after getting your degree. You're fortunate if you don't have to.

It means I value independence above all else. My parents lived like this, and I want to, too. I just happen to view this world is a crazy place, and the only way to truly understand it is to free yourself from all entanglements, by living independently. That is when you truly get to learn what relationships are, which are important, and how to maintain them in a healthy manner.

I, personally, cannot begin to learn that with a benefactor over me. I've given up reliance and favors, not because they are bad or wrong, but because I want to see this earth as it is. Living with my parents would force me to enjoy their 30 years of hard work, and I don't want that, I want my own years of hard work. I love visiting them, but living, nah, that's their place.

 

[al981]

Apparently, I'm in the top 15% as, guess what, I just came out of college.

as am i. point is, you're the last person who should be criticizing anyone. again, see sig, mr miracle!

 

[Cogman]

as am i. point is, you're the last person who should be criticizing anyone. again, see sig, mr miracle!

This coming from the guy who wouldn't drop the JFK assassination in a thread about the WTC.

 

[al981]

This coming from the guy who wouldn't drop the JFK assassination in a thread about the WTC.

you say that as if it's a bad thing. proving a coverup and having your stupidity displayed in my sig = winning.

 

[slayer202]

people are fucking delusional. they get treated like shit by their parents and then they make excuses justifying it, and spread the bullshit in a vicious circle. sad

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Hm.

I graduated last May, and I live with my parents. I do have a very well-paying job (looking at my personal finances/expenses at the moment, I could afford an apartment/townhouse & a car with enough for personal spending/food left over), and no college debt.

I'm Asian, though, and the cultural norm for me is to live with my parents and take care of them. I actually want to move out, but my parents want me to stay a few more years (which admittedly is doing amazing things for my savings account). People shouldn't be so quick to apply assumptions to data.

Also, I don't get why parents and their children are supposed to be at war with each other. Living in my parents house is mutually beneficial as far as I can see. In Taiwan (where I'm from) you often have grandparents living in the same house as their working grandchildren (so three generations in the same house).

I don't get this either. I like my parents. Coming home after work or school and talking over dinner with them was something I always looked forward to and enjoyed. Those moments were very precious to me.

Being the practical person that I am, I am in favor of what is best. If staying at home for a year or 2 is best, go for it. It was for me.

 

[Brigandier]

I don't get this either. I like my parents. Coming home after work or school and talking over dinner with them was something I always looked forward to and enjoyed. Those moments were very precious to me.

Being the practical person that I am, I am in favor of what is best. If staying at home for a year or 2 is best, go for it. It was for me.

I love my parents, love has nothing to do with it. The fact is, it is a luxury, and you shouldn't discount that.

 

[frostedflakes]

85% is pretty crazy. The job market for recent college grads seems to be really tough right now. I don't really see the big deal, though. I lived at home while going to school and have just been living here as well while looking for a job. I could have got my own place or roomed with some other people, and I seriously thought about it a couple times, but living at home just made way too much sense financially. My parents not only didn't mind but encouraged it and also insisted on helping out with school instead of allowing me to rack up student loan debt. So thanks to them I graduated without any student loans and actually have a nice little nest egg saved up. The way I look at it, because my parents helped me out with school, I will be in a good position to do the same for any kids I may have in the future as well (as long as they're appreciative and are actually working toward a goal, such as finishing school, finding a job, etc. instead of just laying around and being a leech). I will also be in a good position to help my parents out financially should they ever fall onto hard times.

I think being on my own and completely independent from 18 on would have been good for me in many ways, though. But for the most part I don't have any regrets and don't think there's anything wrong with taking advantage of your parents' hospitality if they are willing to give it (and again, assuming you're at least working toward a goal and not just leeching and using them).

 

[lothar]

I lived with my parents for a year or two after I graduated. I got a crappy job immediately after graduation. I got a decent job 5 months after graduation, but I knew it wasn't going to be permanent so renting an apartment near that job would have just meant I'd have to move again when I got a permanent job. A year later I got a better job, but it was a 1 year contract so I still didn't know where I was going to be working long-term.

So for all of that time I could have spent easily $1000 a month for an apartment + utilities, I would have moved two extra times, and to what end? There was no downside to living with my parents, I paid them rent and bought my own food, I helped out around the house, I was able to save a lot more money than I would have otherwise. It wasn't about trying to maintain the same standard of living as before, it was just about efficiency - there was no need to spend that extra money, I'd have gained nothing from it and neither would my parents.

You might assume from the anecdotal evidence in this thread that I am a complete failure as an adult, but unfortunately that isn't the case. I do just fine, and I'm sure that the help my parents gave me has contributed to that. And I hope I'm able to do the same for them later in their lives.

Looks like we are in the minority unfortunately.
I plowed both mine and my mom's entire free cash flow into the stock market and I'm glad I did.

If I lived under Spidey's mindset of rushing to buy a house and move out immediately after I graduated in '08, the home would be worth 15-25% less than I would have paid for it, and I wouldn't have had enough money to put in the stock market.

If the parents teach their children how to properly manage their finances, they wouldn't and shouldn't have to learn it from the outside world.

 

[theeedude]

We need government to create jobs for these young people.

 

[qliveur]

Hardly surprising, given that ~85% of college degrees are worthless.

We need government to create jobs for these young people.

^Yes, because that's worked out so well so far.

 

[supastar1568]

Why do you guys rush to move out when you know you're just gonna stay inside all the time and play WoW in your sandals and socks?

Oh and those who brag about being out on your own, you're probably the ones racking up all of the credit card debt.

 

[supastar1568]

I love my parents, love has nothing to do with it. The fact is, it is a luxury, and you shouldn't discount that.

How's it a luxury, who made the rule that says you gotta be out at such and such an age.

Why is it 18 and not 30. Why not 16? Why not 45?

People say "I moved out at 18 when I went to school". Please, being at college doesn't count as "living on your own", more like being pampered 24/7.

 

[lothar]

Hm.

I graduated last May, and I live with my parents. I do have a very well-paying job (looking at my personal finances/expenses at the moment, I could afford an apartment/townhouse & a car with enough for personal spending/food left over), and no college debt.

I'm Asian, though, and the cultural norm for me is to live with my parents and take care of them. I actually want to move out, but my parents want me to stay a few more years (which admittedly is doing amazing things for my savings account). People shouldn't be so quick to apply assumptions to data.

Also, I don't get why parents and their children are supposed to be at war with each other. Living in my parents house is mutually beneficial as far as I can see. In Taiwan (where I'm from) you often have grandparents living in the same house as their working grandchildren (so three generations in the same house).

I'm in the same boat.
I'm a pharmacist that's well paid and have been one since July '08. I have no need to prove to Spidey or anyone else that I'm an "adult" through the means of owning my own home and such.

That's the culture norm for Africans as well.

The parents treat their children like crap(kicking them out at the age of 18 or once they finish college, not helping them regarding their college education, etc...) and the children later on return the favor.

 

[Cogman]

Why do you guys rush to move out when you know you're just gonna stay inside all the time and play WoW in your sandals and socks?

Oh and those who brag about being out on your own, you're probably the ones racking up all of the credit card debt.

Dream on, I don't have a cent of debt.

 

[Slew Foot]

I had my first real non training job when I was 30, and mostly lived off mom and dad with some help from student loans. Now I make more than almost everyone here, eat that.

 

[theeedude]

Hardly surprising, given that ~85% of college degrees are worthless.

^Yes, because that's worked out so well so far.

Government has been laying off people due to cuts at state levels. We need government jobs, not layoffs.

 

[qliveur]

The last thing we need is for our corrupt super-corporation of a government to get bigger and more powerful.

I had my first real non training job when I was 30, and mostly lived off mom and dad with some help from student loans. Now I make more than almost everyone here, eat that.

You chose your major wisely, yes?

 

[AreaCode707]

I didn't go home after college pretty much only because my parents moved across the country. I loved my folks, got along with them great, didn't have a job and only had $500 in the bank. Trying to push to be "independent" would have been the dumbest financial move I could have made. 6 months with them would have allowed me to earn my money before I spent it.

As it happened I didn't have that luxury so I made it work on my own. But I don't look down on anyone who didn't, as long as they are not taking advantage of their parents and are pulling their own weight or actively working on it.

 

[lothar]

Lot of elitism in this thread, typical of ATOT though. I'd rather live in a closet and subsist on ramen than move back in with my parents. Heck, I've come close to that too.

That said, if you can't get some kind of a job after you graduate, it is probably better to move back in with your parents for a while, work on the student loans and other debt with what work you can find until you can secure a job in the field you want. Just keep in mind, you live under your parents roof, their word is law. If they give you an 11pm curfew, you keep it. If they ask you to take out the trash, mow the lawn, etc, then you do it with a smile. If this bothers you, then you can move out whenever you wish, you are, after all, an adult.

This.
If you aren't ready to mow the lawn, do laundry, iron their clothes, cook breakfast, take care of the house, wash/clean their cars, anything else they ask for, and especially letting your parents know where you're going before you head out somewhere; then move out.
Their house, their rules.

I don't understand why some children have problems with following such simple rules that they have to rush to move out. When I was in high school, some classmates were saying they going on the other side of the cost or not choosing to attend college in-state and thus get the in-state tuition discount because they want to be as far from their parents as possible. It's not like they were going to a top tier school anyway that would warrant such a move anyway.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Why do you guys rush to move out when you know you're just gonna stay inside all the time and play WoW in your sandals and socks?

Oh and those who brag about being out on your own, you're probably the ones racking up all of the credit card debt.

Not at all. My first job out of college was out of state. I lived with a couple of guys from the office for the first six months then moved into a house with a couple of guys(one the bf of a girl that I was good friends with from HS). My second job was in another state and I lived on my own.

It was a great learning experience and don't regret it.

I finally moved back to my home state and lived with me parents for severals months til I moved in with a couple of friends from college.

All the time, investing, making money and buying my first home at age 27 flipping it several years later for double the price.

Could I have made saved more money living at home? Sure but the freedom to go out and come home with friends/gf without having to deal with parents, learning how to live on my own, experience living in different towns/cities, etc are something that was worth the extra $1k/month I may dished out in rent, food and utilities.