• We should now be fully online following an overnight outage. Apologies for any inconvenience, we do not expect there to be any further issues.

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
0
0
my friend got his PhD here and the whole time his wife felt like that. They moved back -- maybe you should go for a visit?
 

TallBill

Lifer
Apr 29, 2001
46,017
62
91
uh no.. but whats keepin ya here?


edit - people still really still use the term FOb? (fresh off boat for the uneducated)
 

OS

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
15,581
1
76
Sorry to hear that. :(

Maybe you should visit Korea in the near future. . .

 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
23,686
1
0
not trying to be mean but thats really lame, when your nine you have your kids friends but from 9 to 18 you just went through grades 4-12, if you havent made friends here and become very accustomed to life in the states i feel sorry for you. when most of us were 9 we were watching heman and gijoe on cartoon express. i assume you were doing the something similar, so i dont buy i miss my old life and the old streets etc, i bet you hardly remeber them. and being in the states for 9 years isnt fob 9 days is.
 

Gunrush

Banned
Nov 24, 2000
98
0
0


<< my friend got his PhD here and the whole time his wife felt like that. They moved back -- maybe you should go for a visit? >>



i want to really bad but im afraid cause i can hardly speak the language. it will be horrible to not be able to communicate with your relatives and old friends. i was planning on double majoring in Korean and then going back.
 

Darknite

Member
Oct 15, 2001
86
0
0
take it easy on that person. it is a hard transition still. leaving a life where they have been accustomed to living. Gunrush, you should dwell so much in the past. and basically you cant live in the past. live at this point. make the best of what you have now not then.:D
 

Gunrush

Banned
Nov 24, 2000
98
0
0


<< not trying to be mean but thats really lame, when your nine you have your kids friends but from 9 to 18 you just went through grades 4-12, if you havent made friends here and become very accustomed to life in the states i feel sorry for you. when most of us were 9 we were watching heman and gijoe on cartoon express. i assume you were doing the something similar, so i dont buy i miss my old life and the old streets etc, i bet you hardly remeber them. and being in the states for 9 years isnt fob 9 days is. >>



that is a very ignorant remark. im not even going to start.
 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
23,686
1
0
its been 9 years! hes changed from a a little kid in elementary school to an adult. sorry im not buying it, i dont care how much you love themother land, if you left it at 9 you wouldnt remeber or feel jack about it. ask your self this question do you remeber the details of your life 3rd grade and below?
 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
23,686
1
0
almost all my family are immigrants from india, i am definetly not ignorant to the fact.



<< god, when i hear korean these days my world haults and i listen to it in bliss >>



give me a fvckin break....




<< i can just sit the couch for hours thinking about old times. >>



remebering all those vauge memories of child hood when you were one crawling around on the floor of your house? or maybe when you were three and you ate that big bite of kimchi and you cried? or when you were 5 when you saw that pretty girl and you blushed. B. fvkin S.


 

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
0
0


<<
i want to really bad but im afraid cause i can hardly speak the language. it will be horrible to not be able to communicate with your relatives and old friends. i was planning on double majoring in Korean and then going back.
>>



can you go with a native speaker -- then you can get the longing out of your system -- and then, as HenHowC said, study abroad for a year?
 

Gunrush

Banned
Nov 24, 2000
98
0
0


<< its been 9 years! hes changed from a a little kid in elementary school to an adult. sorry im not buying it, i dont care how much you love themother land, if you left it at 9 you wouldnt remeber or feel jack about it. ask your self this question do you remeber the details of your life 3rd grade and below? >>



you are really starting to piss me off. i hate to waste my time with ignornt people like you, so lets just say i have the best long term memory in the world.
 

Juniper

Platinum Member
Nov 7, 2001
2,025
1
0
Hi, not to offense you. I've been abroad for nearly 4 years now. Even though I still don't feel like I belong here, I think I belong here more than I belong to my country. Everytime I go back, I'm happy... for a while. Then I get bored, things are too slow, the people are too closeminded. And I'd long to get back to my present life, even though its kinda hectic.


Maybe you are feeling like this because you have not been back to your roots in a while? Maybe you still have that ideal image in your mind, but take care, things have changed, despite what you may think. ;)
 

Gunrush

Banned
Nov 24, 2000
98
0
0


<<

<<
i want to really bad but im afraid cause i can hardly speak the language. it will be horrible to not be able to communicate with your relatives and old friends. i was planning on double majoring in Korean and then going back.
>>



can you go with a native speaker -- then you can get the longing out of your system -- and then, as HenHowC said, study abroad for a year?
>>



yeah ive been giving serious thought to that.. but its not like i have a free option to do so. i hear those programs are very selective.
 

HamSupLo

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2001
4,021
0
0
i don't think you have an identity crises....you've made it clear that you miss your life in Korea. I think you should make the best of your situation. Since you reside here, getting an education here, and probably start a career here, maybe you should make some effort to assimilate. At least make an effort to accept the culture and society here. Like it or not, you're part of society here and it makes no sense to feel homesick. Do you really want to isolate yourself and cling on to things that are only korean? I have many FOB friends who like you came around that age and do anything to cling to their old culture and lifestyle. All they do is go to the same damn ethnic area....frequent the same asian restaurants and shopping malls. They don't venture out to different parts of LA....they only want to stay in the same geographic location. They only want to listen to the same old shallow crappy Chinese pop music. They feel more comfortable speaking in Chinese. They aren't familiar with the current culture, music, movies, and arts here. Do you really want to be like that? I'm from HK.....1.5 generation....in my opinion, there isn't much going on in Asian countries...all the cities are so homogenous and there isn't really anything happening culturally or socially. Sure you can party alot and eat great food, but u can't beat the opportunity to meet peoples of different ethnicities and backgrounds here.
 

CJZ

Golden Member
Jan 24, 2001
1,018
0
0
Theory 1:
Maybe it isn't that you miss Korea. Maybe it's because you're in a funk right now. You're trying to escape your current life by trying to re-live your old one.

Theory 2:
Where do you live currently? Is it in a neighborhood with few Koreans? Maybe your lack of contact with other Koreans is making you depressed?


Personally, I really want to go visit Korea (haven't been back in 16 years). I plan on going this summer. Perhaps you should do the same.
 

Gunrush

Banned
Nov 24, 2000
98
0
0


<< Maybe you are feeling like this because you have not been back to your roots in a while? Maybe you still have that ideal image in your mind, but take care, things have changed, despite what you may think. ;) >>



the issue is not my love for the country, its not knowing of who i am. having spoken korean inside the house and english outside for nine years, i feel like im stuck in between. i look at exchange students from korea at my school and i feel alienated from them because im not really korean.. i look at my american friends and i feel that i can never be very close to them because im not really american. i guess im hoping to to discover my korean heritage because i dont feel that i can consider myself "American"
 

Gunrush

Banned
Nov 24, 2000
98
0
0


<< Theory 2:
Where do you live currently? Is it in a neighborhood with few Koreans? Maybe your lack of contact with other Koreans is making you depressed?
>>



hm.. thats a very good theory. i have no korean friends, and was always afraid to approach foreign exchange students from korea. maybe i should seriously try overcoming that fear... thanks for your insight :)
 

FuZoR

Diamond Member
Sep 22, 2001
4,422
1
0
I have something diffrent.

I was thinking that i shouldnt have been born asian.

I rarely speak chinese and when i do i sound retarded cause i cant speak it well, i dont know anything about my culture. 95% friends are not asian. Im like a asian outcast or something. lol
And (most) non-asianladies dont find us Hot/Attractive. :|

oh yeah born and raised in NYC