I never really support divorce, since I see so many of them, let alone hear about the catastrophic events of aftermathematical consequences. When we make a decision, the results follow, and the consequential happenings are not for us to chose. You must be going through some pretty hard times, but don't give up!
Sounds like you and your wife need to be creative during these holiday weeks if you plan on really focusing your efforts on rearranging your mindset from splitting to reuniting. We see so much of it in the nation, divorce rates are 1 and 2. Anyone can get married, essentially, and generally speaking; but it takes time, patience and effort for any relationship to work out, in the beginning and end.
But when one door closes, another (two) will open.
If you dissect your daily patterns of divorces here in America, you will find at least one thing in common, blame. People will always have this problem until they learn how to get over themselves. Since you are the husband, you are the head of the family. Not to say that women are not as capable, but that's usually the image of it all. So when the common person looks at a family, he may think first about how the father is doing?
... but the fact of the matter is, you have a marriage to save. If you think really hard, you'll remember why this was the women you chose to marry, and possibly have kids with if you don't already have any, but I don't recall reading anything about children from your post? Sounds like both of you are broken hearted. That's one thing both of you share in common at this point in time. So one month to see how things fall into place? You should set some goals in the time you have left, the last potential month of being with your wife could be the last 4 weeks of feeling how little more complete you were if you decide to go with the finale of a divorce. The transition will be hard, but not impossible, as so many Americans have proven themselves to be capable of matters with respect to statistical reaffirmaties.
I stand as your witness to say "no" to the divorce. So I make an offer to challenge yousrlf - that what you went through in the past few months, you need to summon all of your energy and put more into this last month of attempting for the success of the relationship working out somehow before the year ends. Marriage will always have it's ups and downs, and you made a vow that no matter treading through the thickest or thinnest of ice, you would walk from hell and back together, to see things through to the end even if everything seemed so broken apart. There isn't any happiness in the sacrifice of other human beings, I tell myself that all the time when I want to give up on my radar technician team.
Sometimes we have to think about ourselves less and put others ahead of their actions. My dad had three sons, I was one of them. We were dirt broke trying to move to Minnesota and settling down as a family, and my mom tried everything she could think of to raise our family of sons and daughters. All of my brothers and sisters headed in different directions, high points in life and the downfalls that followed us around like broken shadows. My dad got greedy with his time and decided to build his image in the process. After seeing so many of his assets rise without unnecessary question, everyone in my family who was an adult looked back at it all - and there was so much we missed out as a family. If I could take one thing back, it would be trying to be like everyone else, running away from problems that needed mending in the home. I blamed fatique, that made me a coward. During those years I pushed for the divorce between my mom and dad, I really hated a lot of things and failed to accept responsibility. My parents are still trying to work it out, but I tell you, even if they get divorced in the end, they both will still be unquestionably sad. Of the good memories that were left from our family, I used those puzzle peices to try and build from scratch after I decided to move out, and it was painful indeed. Families, no matter how big or small, aren't really for our deciding if we want to seperate, because once a family, always a family. There is nothing that can replace the gaps that we leave between our familiy members when we decide to give up, except for love and patience, anything opposed to this include the logic of unhappiness.
From the beginning, you made that decision to love your wife with all your heart. And love alone, is a verb, to simplify all of that, an action. Not just any kind, but a type of emotion that helps heal the pain and sorrow that we face day to day. If you feel you've tried everything in thought and action, from tear to sweat, through heart ache and selfless misery to satisfy boundaries of your ability to keep a promise, then I hope you are happy and understand that every open door isn't always the best gateway until you've somehow grapsed what is on the other side.
We can see a horizon, dim or bright, but it's never the end without a beginning. Every end is a new beginning. And without thought of what happened in the beginning, everything in the mind is a dead end, only to await a recycling effect that we will find hard to recognize if the mind is not trained to know what truly makes us happy. So train, and remember if you know you are doing everything in your power to makes things right, you shouldn't be afraid of letting people know they need to evolve or stay miserable.
Hamlet would say, "to be or not to be."
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