slackerinabox
Lifer
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StageLeft
No Lifer
You need to bust out of the friend's territory. If it costs you a friendship it's worth it, because if you want in her panties it's going to be impossible to have a meaningful friendship anyway - it will ALWAYS be on your mind. So, just do a make or break.
Also, I'd recommend stop mothering your ex-gf. Sounds like you're now a boyfriend without benefits. Distance yourself 🙂
Also, I'd recommend stop mothering your ex-gf. Sounds like you're now a boyfriend without benefits. Distance yourself 🙂
alkemyst
No Lifer
usually the main issue people have with the whole 'don't want to ruin the friends' thing is just the fear of rejection and not the friendship itself.
Usually asking out a friend is harmless if she says no and is a 'real' friend....
The thing that is the problem causer is usually if you end up in bed together one night....that is where the awkwardness and distancing occur mostly.
The best method of this is not really to 'ask her out', that's a little childish really. You are now friends, you have each other's names, numbers, favorites down, etc...what you simply should do is attempt to move it to the next level gently at first and check her body language response. If she seems up for it then move forward a little more (don't try to squeeze it all into one 'date' though 😉).
The hardest part of it all is moving from possibly making out a bit into sex (which usually happens at the same time for sexually active people who already know each other)....the sex part is not the difficulty, it's the 'is she thinking just along f-buddy or her next boyfriend?'
That's where a lot of problem occurs, one person liked the sex, likes the friendship....the other liked the sex, but wants it to be more than friends.
Å
Usually asking out a friend is harmless if she says no and is a 'real' friend....
The thing that is the problem causer is usually if you end up in bed together one night....that is where the awkwardness and distancing occur mostly.
The best method of this is not really to 'ask her out', that's a little childish really. You are now friends, you have each other's names, numbers, favorites down, etc...what you simply should do is attempt to move it to the next level gently at first and check her body language response. If she seems up for it then move forward a little more (don't try to squeeze it all into one 'date' though 😉).
The hardest part of it all is moving from possibly making out a bit into sex (which usually happens at the same time for sexually active people who already know each other)....the sex part is not the difficulty, it's the 'is she thinking just along f-buddy or her next boyfriend?'
That's where a lot of problem occurs, one person liked the sex, likes the friendship....the other liked the sex, but wants it to be more than friends.
Å
slackerinabox
Lifer
Well, I am worried about losing her as a friend and I think I can get past the wanting to get into her panties phase if I need to... But she's on my mind alot- hopefully spending more time with her will either convince me to make that move or get bored of her 😉
My ex is really pissing me off lately - she's like that annoying gnat that doesn't go away.. Always complaining about something and needing help.. I'm not rude but I have canceled a lot of get togethers this week because the thought of having another bitch fight frustrates me.. Distancing myself is a GREAT idea...
thanks skoorb, your replies are always valuable..
slackerinabox
Lifer
I'm definately not the type to make that physical leap but I've been a little flirty around her.. Very innocent, really, telling her that she's pretty, being there for her, etc... She's really a sweet girl so I don't want to take advantage of what's becoming a close friendship (she's inviting me out, i'm not asking her - it's a slight distinction that makes me feel more sure of myself)... The problem with being a close friend is that we've had that "who's your perfect mate?" discussion and I don't sound like part of that equation... I'm not stressed about this though - I already got a "booty call" that I turned down (I'm not attracted to the girl) so my self esteem is on the rebound and I'm more sure of myself lately.... Thanks for your advice man, I think I'm a few weeks away from that though 😉
LinuxIdiot
Golden Member
Yea, shes hot eh? Sorry, I don't have much to contribute to this thread. I have the same problem I became attracted to a female friend, well eventually I got tired of the trying to hint around that I was attracted to her and just flat out told her :\ it didnt work :brokenheart: but we're still close friends 😀
slackerinabox
Lifer
Good for you for making that move though... I've done it 4 times in my life and lost three friends and got into one long term relationship from it... So I have a 75% chance of failure here. Yeah, she's also got me petrified of making a move because one of her friend's proposed to her a few months ago (For marriage!) and she's still in shock over that and every one of her guy friends have a crush on her.. She's not one of those flirty bimbos- she's really a sweet, smart, and fun kid.. She's just so damn attractive! 😉
slackerinabox
Lifer
OK, I was a buffy fan and sometimes I would stick around for Felicity- I swear!
Nitemare
Lifer
Place her hand on your crotch...
What's the worst that could happen? She pours her drink over your head, kicks you in the nads and your girlfriend finds out and dumps you then you end up living the remainder of your life as a poor pitiful recluse of a man who spends 90% of his waking hours bagging elf chicks on EverQuest?
slackerinabox
Lifer
Haha.. I don't have a girlfriend so I might try that! I'll be sure that she's done with her drink first and I'll wear a cup.. Wait, that defeats the purpose.. Hmm..
Terranautical
Junior Member
No the worst is not her saying no. The worst is her saying know and reaffirming that she's out of his league, and being embarassed that he asked her out in the first place.
slackerinabox
Lifer
Are you still in contact with her? Wouldn't want my secret to be out!
slackerinabox
Lifer
,!
slackerinabox
Lifer
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