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[TheCorm]

Originally posted by: Dezign
I've read through the thread, and there are so many incredibly perceptive and helpeful replies.

I cried a little bit last night because I was upset with the situation in general, but I'm more determined now than ever to find employment where I will be respected as a professional and as an adult.

I made the mistake early by sharing my personal/social life with my boss and coworkers. They would always ask and know where I was going, who I was going out on dates with, etc. I saw it as being friendly, but I've definitely learned the office is NOT a good place to be open and personal.

From this point on, I will no longer share details of my personal life (where I'm going for trips/vacations/etc.). I'll just put my head down and get my work done until I find employment elsewhere.

A million thanks again to all of you for sharing your advice and personal experiences. You guys n gals are the best... I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Deeply appreciative,
Dezign

Keep your chin up mate....I would be getting out of there asap....and well done for stayting so calm in the meeting with your boss....I would told her to f**k off right there and then....I have a fairly short temper and one of my pet hates is being wrongfully accused.

I'm sure there are much better things out there and in places that don't have such small people as your boss and co-worker...who sound like a right couple to work with!

But don't be thinking that everywhere is the same....I have worked in one place where they singled me out, treated me like an idiot....moaned if I yawned when looking through pages and pages of accounts data....like I should be interested....I still did my job though and then I made a mistake...I was only half way through my training when this happened....and then jumped on the opportunity to fire me.

Then there was my job last but one and my current one...wonderful places to work with nice people and a very casual relaxed atmoshphere...and it's nice to share your social life with each other...providing you still keep a professional level....not a nazi level like your boss!

Jamie

EDIT: maybe when you do leave, give her a link to this thread...or offer her some exerts from it.

 

[Brutuskend]

Well, DID you?

 

[MrDingleDangle]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Well, DID you?

its somewhere in the thread...
no she didnt

 

[Aenslead]

No, you shouldn't get fired.

If its your first time, then all that 'should' happen is that you do not get payed for the day you missed... and that's that.

Do understand that people when having money issues can be very rude and desperate. It is no way to justify their actions or words, but it happens.

 

[YellowRose]

Funny NJ recently oulawed driving if you have not slept within the last 24 hours.
The lack of sleep was an acceptable excuse. Had she gone to work she would have been a danger to everyone on the
road with her. Had she gone to work she may never had made it to work or home alive. She also would not have been
productive at work if she had gone in. There was no reason for the boss to take any action.
I would begin looking for another job. They will miss you when you get that other job. The boss will also realize that here lunch time
flings will end up costing her her job as performance will drop after you leave.

 

[Zebo]

Originally posted by: Vic

Originally posted by: spidey07
Last word of advice.

DON'T SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT A REPRESENTATIVE FROM HUMAN RESOURCES PRESENT.

And don't sign anything if you don't agree. It sounds like she might bully you into something.

Damn straight. What some companies try to do nowadays is absolute BS. The company my GF used to work for was letting people off through attrition last year. After getting glowing reviews for all 3 years of her employment there, they suddenly come to her with a "Personal Improvement Plan" with a whole slew of lies about her performance and insisted that she sign it. In the fine print was a clause that said that, with her signature, they could terminate her employment at any point from then on with cause and that she would not be able to get unemployment, severence, or benefits.
Naturally, I told her not to sign it and we consulted with an attorney. They made her life at work a living hell for the next 4 months, and pressured her at all times to sign the bogus document. Finally, she told her manager firmly that (1) she would NEVER quit, and (2) she would never sign that form. The next day they laid her off with full benefits and severance, and did not contest her unemployment claim. 3 months after that she got a great job with a large nationwide bank (edit: with more pay) and has never looked back.
Long story short, never let your higher-ups at work intimidate you into signing anything. You have rights.

Hello Vic, Not to turn this into a political thread but this deos'nt sound like the good libertarian, Rights? With a private employer.. Franky I'm shocked you don't think the employer can fire anyone for anything at anytime.


Anyway I agree with all of Vics excellent points thoughout this thread Design. You should be either looking for another job or go work in another divison you spoke of. No excuse to treat people like cattle and take pride in doing so even. Bitch sounds sick sadist...really.


To me you sound like a nice person...don't loose that... and change thinking you need to be a hardass like her to get ahead. It's quite the opposite..Just find the right place where people think like you... Her type is lifetime middlemanagement and the only reason she still works IMO is EEO protects her.

Good Luck

 

[LostHiWay]

I'm really surprised at some of the responses in this thread. Here's my opinion....If one of my employees called up and said they were too tired to come into work I'd FIRE them right then and there. There's just no excuse for telling me that. At least tell me you're sick, but too tired just sounds lazy and that you have no respect for the company or the people in it. Also I totally agree with her boss about sick days. Way to many people abuse them! There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

Sorry I may sound harsh but my family has ran a business for the better part of my life and I deal with it on a daily basis.

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: LostHiWay
There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

never had the flu have you?

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: LostHiWay
I'm really surprised at some of the responses in this thread. Here's my opinion....If one of my employees called up and said they were too tired to come into work I'd FIRE them right then and there. There's just no excuse for telling me that. At least tell me you're sick, but too tired just sounds lazy and that you have no respect for the company or the people in it. Also I totally agree with her boss about sick days. Way to many people abuse them! There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

Sorry I may sound harsh but my family has ran a business for the better part of my life and I deal with it on a daily basis.

So you'd rather they lie to you? Wouldn't that show a lack of respect more?

 

[Zebo]

Originally posted by: LostHiWay
I'm really surprised at some of the responses in this thread. Here's my opinion....If one of my employees called up and said they were too tired to come into work I'd FIRE them right then and there. There's just no excuse for telling me that. At least tell me you're sick, but too tired just sounds lazy and that you have no respect for the company or the people in it. Also I totally agree with her boss about sick days. Way to many people abuse them! There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

Sorry I may sound harsh but my family has ran a business for the better part of my life and I deal with it on a daily basis.

What kind of employees do you have? Were talking professionals here not fast food workers or construction where the barriers to entry are nill. Sure morons are a dime a dozen...even so treating them poorly lowers the quality of work and moral which will affect your bottom line in plenty of unseen ways. Balance and moderation is the key. Why do you think it's so hard to find a good manager? You need someone you can trust, someone who does'nt allow thier employees to run-all-over them, but at the same time can extract maxium productivity and quality from the workers. You don't do this with massive turnover because you're a prick.

 

[kenthuang]

Being lazy and don't feel like going to work is totally different from being really tired and not goin to work. I don't think firing is any of managers intent because you were tired, cuz thats not good management. Your hard work and getting duties done should show you are not a slacker and hopefully you won't get fired.

 

[Thegonagle]

Originally posted by: kenthuang
Being lazy and don't feel like going to work is totally different from being really tired and not goin to work. I don't think firing is any of managers intent because you were tired, cuz thats not good management. Your hard work and getting duties done should show you are not a slacker and hopefully you won't get fired.

She didn't get fired, but she still doesn't have a good manager. She has queen biatch who doesn't understand the meaning and importance of being respectful to her employees.

 

[LostHiWay]

Originally posted by: Zebo

Originally posted by: LostHiWay
I'm really surprised at some of the responses in this thread. Here's my opinion....If one of my employees called up and said they were too tired to come into work I'd FIRE them right then and there. There's just no excuse for telling me that. At least tell me you're sick, but too tired just sounds lazy and that you have no respect for the company or the people in it. Also I totally agree with her boss about sick days. Way to many people abuse them! There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

Sorry I may sound harsh but my family has ran a business for the better part of my life and I deal with it on a daily basis.

What kind of employees do you have? Were talking professionals here not fast food workers or construction where the barriers to entry are nill. Sure morons are a dime a dozen...even so treating them poorly lowers the quality of work and moral which will affect your bottom line in plenty of unseen ways.

I run a small office. It's by no means large but we have 9 employees. Each employee is allowed 2 sick days a year, sure I'll make exceptions if someones having surgury or if they're truly sick. However, as we all know most of the time people take sick days when they're not really sick. What happens when you're actually sick? I've taken a total of 1 sick day in the past 3 years, sure I sometimes come in when I don't feel so hot but that's part of business.

Also moral is great here. I know I treat my employees better than most other employers and my employees know it too. Let's see....I've had a total of 2 employess quit within the last 4 years.

It seems many people here still have all that GenX, GenY manager propaganda crap stuck in their head from college. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

 

[Zebo]

Originally posted by: LostHiWay

Originally posted by: Zebo

Originally posted by: LostHiWay
I'm really surprised at some of the responses in this thread. Here's my opinion....If one of my employees called up and said they were too tired to come into work I'd FIRE them right then and there. There's just no excuse for telling me that. At least tell me you're sick, but too tired just sounds lazy and that you have no respect for the company or the people in it. Also I totally agree with her boss about sick days. Way to many people abuse them! There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

Sorry I may sound harsh but my family has ran a business for the better part of my life and I deal with it on a daily basis.

What kind of employees do you have? Were talking professionals here not fast food workers or construction where the barriers to entry are nill. Sure morons are a dime a dozen...even so treating them poorly lowers the quality of work and moral which will affect your bottom line in plenty of unseen ways.

I run a small office. It's by no means large but we have 9 employees. Each employee is allowed 2 sick days a year, sure I'll make exceptions if someones having surgury or if they're truly sick. However, as we all know most of the time people take sick days when they're not really sick. What happens when you're actually sick? I've taken a total of 1 sick day in the past 3 years, sure I sometimes come in when I don't feel so hot but that's part of business.

Also moral is great here. I know I treat my employees better than most other employers and my employees know it too. Let's see....I've had a total of 2 employess quit within the last 4 years.

It seems many people here still have all that GenX, GenY manager propaganda crap stuck in their head from college. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

I think you're a little more forgiving than you let on in your first post now. However you still did'nt answer my question about the level of professionalism and ease of replacability.

I manage 34 people in four labs, If I fired one it would take me about 3 months to find a replacment..minimum..only because I have a few apps on hand and have done several interviews already...Hopefully they don't have a job already. However i do work in a huge buerocracy not a small business which complicates things.

You're right they sent me to two semesters MPM gradute classes before I was allowed to supervise anyone. Damn colleges.

 

[LostHiWay]

It would probably take about 2 months for me to find a replacement and get them completely trained. The job is by no means "really difficult" but there are many different little things that employees have to learn in order for them to be fully productive.

 

[Bleep]

Well other than the Job thing did you have a good time in Vegas and loseing a bunch of money?
Did you do any of the things that we spoke about? Gambling in Vegas is not a good thing to be doing, slot machines will eat you alive and to play any other games a very good understanding of the game is necessary.
If the driving time had been split between you and whoever you went with were done the problem with the job would not have happened so you must take some of the blame for the outcome.
When you find another job I would not ever give 2 weeks notice I would just walk into her office and ask her if you could have the rest of the day off and when she says no just say I quit. It will give you a really good feeling about the power that you now have and do not have to kiss butt to keep a job. I have never understood why people have the idea that a notice is needed when you quit for cause, the management never gives notice that you are going to be fired in 2 weeks.

Bleep

 

[alkemyst]

there is nothing sacred anymore in corporate america

technically a 'tired' or 'I don't feel like working today' day used to be fine providing it wasn't abused...but now it's all it takes to take some power hungry boss to play their cards.

I work for my brother, however his fiancee manages the place and is trying to play the power trip over me. I have never been accused of miscommunication in all my careers mostly with projects dealing with 100+ people in several locations/countries...however in this job with 5 total employees I am told daily I have no communication skills and why can't I respond instantly to every email/IM.

My parents who live locally to me, along with some visiting relatives who witnessed me scrambling around here trying to take care of each and every detail told me the job is total BS.

Today when the $4it hit the fan I was then under the attack of a 'hacker' either pinging me or flooding me somehow....I think the attack was planned to make me unproductive...I am on a dialup BTW so it would have to be directed pretty much at me I'd imagine since I kept having to re-login....I doubt all my provider was under attack.

 

[kindest]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
there is nothing sacred anymore in corporate america

technically a 'tired' or 'I don't feel like working today' day used to be fine providing it wasn't abused...but now it's all it takes to take some power hungry boss to play their cards.

I work for my brother, however his fiancee manages the place and is trying to play the power trip over me. I have never been accused of miscommunication in all my careers mostly with projects dealing with 100+ people in several locations/countries...however in this job with 5 total employees I am told daily I have no communication skills and why can't I respond instantly to every email/IM.

My parents who live locally to me, along with some visiting relatives who witnessed me scrambling around here trying to take care of each and every detail told me the job is total BS.

Today when the $4it hit the fan I was then under the attack of a 'hacker' either pinging me or flooding me somehow....I think the attack was planned to make me unproductive...I am on a dialup BTW so it would have to be directed pretty much at me I'd imagine since I kept having to re-login....I doubt all my provider was under attack.

some1 pinging a dial up modem, sounds like a conspiracy. i didnt know people still pinged other people.
you better tell your brother to call off the wedding his fianccee sounds like a b.

 

[slag]

Originally posted by: LostHiWay
There should be no reason why a person misses more than 2 days a year.

You're living in a fantasy world.

If one of my children is sick, I have to take a sick day.

If I have a bad stomach flu, I take a sick day.

Between me or my kids (or even my sitter once), I have taken probably 10 sick days this year. Its a fact of life that people get sick. Children get sick more because they havent been exposed to many of the germs that adults are.

I'd never work for a company, let alone a family run business, that thinks more than 2 days a year of sick time is excessive.

 

[FoBoT]

do you get sick days or not?

if you do, it doesn't matter if you were puking your guts out or just tired, a sick day is a sick day

if you don't get "official" sick days, then i guess it is there judgement call, but sounds like you are getting crapped on for other problems at the company

 

[alkemyst]

regarding my own situation...I just got my own place to live again and now I hear about my pending firing...(long long story I owned a house at 23 years old with 80k paid off on it but through a divorce and a couple bad relationships I come out with a debt of about 8k still, 10 years later )....

I am going to try to open a detailing shop...I do it as a hobby now from people approaching me to ask who does my old saturn (http://30moons.com/96SC2mine.php)

regarding the more than two days a year thing...this is utter BS and totally american greed....almost everywhere else in the world even a week off work is considered too little.

People are people not little worker bees making money for the queen.

 

[slick230]

Dezign, I hop you get the hell out of that sh|thole job and find greener pastures.

Oh, and when you do leave, before you walk out the door, tell your boss to go get fvcked with a chainsaw. She probably needs a good hard shafting.

Good Luck to you.

 

[virtuamike]

With all this talk about getting fired, we overlooked the most important question:

How'd you do in Vegas?

 

[slick230]

Originally posted by: virtuamike
With all this talk about getting fired, we overlooked the most important question:

How'd you do in Vegas?

She lost 15% of her savings. I don't think that's a good sign.

 

[JEDI]

Dezign,

if u would have hooked up w/me in vegas, this would have never have happened

seriously, calling in saying you're hung over isn't acceptable?! i've done it a couple of times in my past job. i guess my boss and co-workers were cool. (ie: i left a msg at 3am saying i dont feel well (boss knowing i went to a party) and am not coming to work.)

so what game did u lose 15% of your life savings at?

-Jedi

PS- How did u like the Venetian? i thoguht it was a big, nice room. but i HATED them charging $1 per call, includuing local and 800#. heck, when i was at CasinoRoylae, free local and 800#. because of Venetian's nickel and diming, i'm not going back unless it was free.