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[MegaloManiaK]

Originally posted by: jumpr

Originally posted by: kranky
I didn't want to post until I found out what happened in the meeting. So now that I've read that, here's my take.

There are three reasons why this went so badly for you.
1. Your boss is very driven.
2. They knew you were in Vegas for the weekend (either before or after the fact).
3. You are much younger than your co-workers.

The reason your boss (and coworker) went crazy is that they see you as an irresponsible person who parties too much. (Not saying you are, but that's how they see you). I will guess that you talk about your social life in the office. They have no social life. So the boss has been waiting for your "party lifestyle" to catch up with you so she could jump all over you, and this was her big chance. In her mind, only a snot-nosed college kid party animal would have been in your position in the first place, and then you had the UNBELIEVABLE BIG BALLS to call in TIRED! And if they knew you were in Vegas anyway, calling in sick wouldn't have made much difference. She still would have felt the same way - that you overdid it on the weekend because you are irresponsible.

She probably doesn't want to fire you. She just hates that you have an active social life and you aren't 110% devoted to work like she is, and since in this case it interfered with work, she went off the deep end. You mentioned she tries to "mother" you sometimes, and that's also part of why it went down like it did. Part of her freak-out was designed to "teach you a lesson". You were supposed to be "scared straight".

My feeling is that this will pass, but the lesson for you is not to talk about your social life in the office. Don't socialize with your coworkers or your boss (in this case, anyway). There is no possible upside to bringing your personal life into the work environment.

Dezign, I think this is the best advice given in the thread. This is exactly what I think about the situation, but I didn't know how to write it out. Pay attention to this post, and act in such a way to avoid problems spelled out in kranky's post. Good luck.

My life after quitting the business ladder.

Cracks me up everytime, Basicly it sounds to me like your boss blew up and assumed you were partying. It doesn't matter after that point because she's not going to lose face over the matter and admit she didn't understand the situation. Get out ASAP. When you turn in the notice, don't let them talk you into staying any longer to help them out.

Also i would have quit on the spot if my boss tried to tell me how wonderful they were becuase they didn't fire me over stuipid stuff like that.

 

[CChaos]

Sorry you had to deal with that but as many other people pointed out, the whole situation can be boiled down to "Your boss is an asshat." I don't care what the state of your company or your co-workers. You have a right to time off from work when you feel it necessary. When I call out I just say I won't make it in. I don't give a reason. I've worked for some really cool people in my life and more than a few asshats. Take a guess who I went the extra mile for...

 

[MaxDepth]

You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
-Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning, Viet Nam.

I guess we can apply that to your boss, eh?



For all the crap and stress that you have been through, at least you have the luxury of maintaining employment while searching for better opportunities. And just think of how much fun you'll have when you give the boss your two weeks notice!

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: CChaos
Sorry you had to deal with that but as many other people pointed out, the whole situation can be boiled down to "Your boss is an asshat." I don't care what the state of your company or your co-workers. You have a right to time off from work when you feel it necessary. When I call out I just say I won't make it in. I don't give a reason. I've worked for some really cool people in my life and more than a few asshats. Take a guess who I went the extra mile for...

I got fired because I had to leave because I just found out my Grandfather died and we (The family) had to go to the next State (New Jersey) right away. My parents pulled up, came in to the job and told me, the lady boss said if I leave don't come back because I would be fired.

It was not a mission critical position either.

This was about 20 years ago so things are just getting worse in the employment area.

 

[Rufio]

Originally posted by: dmcowen674

Originally posted by: CChaos
Sorry you had to deal with that but as many other people pointed out, the whole situation can be boiled down to "Your boss is an asshat." I don't care what the state of your company or your co-workers. You have a right to time off from work when you feel it necessary. When I call out I just say I won't make it in. I don't give a reason. I've worked for some really cool people in my life and more than a few asshats. Take a guess who I went the extra mile for...

I got fired because I had to leave because I just found out my Grandfather died and we (The family) had to go to the next State (New Jersey) right away. My parents pulled up, came in to the job and told me, the lady boss said if I leave don't come back because I would be fired.

It was not a mission critical position either.

This was about 20 years ago so things are just getting worse in the employment area.

FVCK THAT!!

 

[spidey07]

got fired because I had to leave because I just found out my Grandfather died and we (The family) had to go to the next State (New Jersey) right away. My parents pulled up, came in to the job and told me, the lady boss said if I leave don't come back because I would be fired.

Family and Medical leave act. An employer cannot fire your for that situation.

 

[dxkj]

Well, I believe this example by Dezign has given us all a good lesson. Lying is best apparently. She called in tired, the boss almost fires her, she calls in sick, she just gets a call to confirm that later. No matter what you do with some bosses, they will look at your explanation as either 1) A crappy excuse 2) A lie. The best way to deal with bosses is to gloss over the details and tell them what they want to hear instead of excuses.


Sucks but its true.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: dxkj
Well, I believe this example by Dezign has given us all a good lesson. Lying is best apparently. She called in tired, the boss almost fires her, she calls in sick, she just gets a call to confirm that later. No matter what you do with some bosses, they will look at your explanation as either 1) A crappy excuse 2) A lie. The best way to deal with bosses is to gloss over the details and tell them what they want to hear instead of excuses.


Sucks but its true.

In my experience, superiors are only that way when the relationship transcends that of professional only. Once they get a glimpse into your personal life they feel they can cross that line more easily.

 

[tlam617]

Originally posted by: pyonir

Originally posted by: compudog
I never post on AT while at work...

LMAO. Yeah...me....either.....

Yeah me neither........

BTW dezign... do you always comply to what ur boss says.. stand up for urself girl.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: pyonir
Micromanagers suck.

Yep.

There are better places to work than that.

She's wrong about "if it were any other company".

 

[Zombie]

Not going to work because you came back late is stupid IMO. I have never taken a sick day and your situation does not justify a sick day.

You should have gone in to work regardless of what time you got back from vegas. Once there you could have left early but not showing up is utter nonsense.

and oh I think your coworker needs to be b!tchslapped like a red-headed stepchild. WTF, I would have let him have it right after my meeting with the Boss.

 

[Garet Jax]

Dezign,

I'm glad to hear that you still have a job. Keep plugging away and make sure to find a better one soon.

BTW - I do not condone her boss' behaviour, but I understand it. I have had great bosses and horrible bosses. As an employee, you need to make decisions based on how you think your boss will react. Some jobs wouldn't care if I did what Dezign did (in fact I have done that before), however some would have. In these cases, I make different decision...

 

[dquan97]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: dquan97

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Vic
Folks, just an FYI: the normal drive time from Las Vegas to LA is only 4 hours.
Run into some normal bad traffic and 5-6 might happen. For it to take 12+ hours is highly unusual. I've seen some people in this thread speculate that it's normally a 7-8 hour drive. It's not. Dezign was not in the wrong by leaving at 6:30pm... she expected to be home by 10:30 or 11 at that latest.

that still does not matter. She is paid to be at work. if she cant make it in on time then she should not be working there.

some sort of flexibility should have been displayed by the boss...unless Dezign really needed to be there (ie important business meeting with client, etc), she can use her sick leave/vacation any way she want.

I agree. IF she called in sick or took a personal day that would be fine. but she called in "tired". That is the diffrence. If you are sick or just need a day away from the office thats great. But she went to vages and got back late. then decided she didnt want to come in because she was out late.

I don't think the permissibility of taking a day off depends entirely on the reason. For example, if I have a contractor come and work on my house all day, and I needed to be there (for whatever reason), I should be able to take that day off. Having vacation/sick leave provides allowance for uncontrollable circumstances. If my cat was sick and I had to take him to the vet, I'd take a sick day.

 

[imported_Tomato]

I've read through the thread, and there are so many incredibly perceptive and helpeful replies.

I cried a little bit last night because I was upset with the situation in general, but I'm more determined now than ever to find employment where I will be respected as a professional and as an adult.

I made the mistake early by sharing my personal/social life with my boss and coworkers. They would always ask and know where I was going, who I was going out on dates with, etc. I saw it as being friendly, but I've definitely learned the office is NOT a good place to be open and personal.

From this point on, I will no longer share details of my personal life (where I'm going for trips/vacations/etc.). I'll just put my head down and get my work done until I find employment elsewhere.

A million thanks again to all of you for sharing your advice and personal experiences. You guys n gals are the best... I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Deeply appreciative,
Dezign

 

[n0cmonkey]

I've called in drunk before, I don't see why anyone in their right mind would can you for being tired. Unless of course you had some major meeting or deadline or something.

 

[BoberFett]

If you get fired will you have to stop posting here? *crosses fingers*

 

[pulse8]

I can't stand to be around bosses like that.

And I especially hate how she makes you feel like she did you a favor by not firing you for something so stupid.

 

[Thegonagle]

IMHO, you should've gone in, and then left early.

This sounds like a harh and disrespectful place to work though, and I wouldn't want to work there anyway, so if the fire you, be sure to tell your boss and bitch co-worker to go fvck themselves.

EDIT: Found the update (No way I'm reading every reply, so don't even start with me). The boss is so full of her own sh!t to say that "any other boss, any other company line." I'm happy to see that they didn't fire you, but hurry up and look for that new job. You will be better for it. Working in a respectful, cooperative workplace is much better for the mind, the body, and the soul.

 

[PunDogg]

many people may have said this already, but your boss f'n sucks, she is a royal bitch, and should get the broom out of her pussy, and also i would def look for another job, and once u get that job, and u have to tell your boss that u are leaving, rub it in her face, be like later bitch, or call off everyday for the 2-3 weeks notice u give them, thats if you give them one, good luck

Dogg

 

[Whisper]

I think I might've lost it in that meeting. After she said something like, "do you think it's fair? I could write you up right now." I'd have told her to take the write-up and shove it up her...well, yeah. Considering the way she's been treating you, it's not worth working there any longer than you have to.

As you've said, there really isn't anything short of quitting that you can do at this point to make her stop treating you like a child. If it were me, I'd be sure to tell her on my last day that my main reasons for leaving were because I felt patronized that she was unappreciative of my ability, and that she had been condescending to the point of unprofessionalism.

She's an ass, and she needs to know it. She's treated you without the same dignity and respect that she expects from you, and as such she deserves to lose an employee because of it.

 

[josphII]

pretty stupid to call in claiming your tired. at least say your sick.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: BoberFett
If you get fired will you have to stop posting here? *crosses fingers*

No Bobe, I'd be posting more.

 

[conjur]

Be careful with job-hunting, though.

Don't let the queen B know you're doing that or you'll most likely be out on your ear before you're ready.

 

[Graphicd00d]

Originally posted by: FFMCobalt

Originally posted by: Graphicd00d
Your boss is a biatch!

If I was you, I would start looking for a new job not because you might not have a job there but you work for a jackass!

You don't deserve to be treated like that.

If "you was her" then you probably would have had your job application declined.

Hey, I use to work for someone like Dezigns boss. Put up with the BS for 5 years. Then I moved on to bigger and better things because I was tired of being treated like garbage.

I will never work for that kind of people again.

It's not worth your health to stay in that kind of environment.

So if you like to work with dumbasses and fsckfaces FFMColbalt, that is your choice. I for one would not.

 

[cain]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: Citrix
yip use sick, never tired.

as far as your co-worker, tell her to mind her own damn business. Nothing pisses me off faster than a co-worker poking their nose into my business between my boss and I.

My coworker's kind of a drunk and a d!ck. He's a brilliant guy, he's just lazy... hence, he's 33 years old, in the same position as I am, making the same salary I am ($32k/year). So yeah, he's bitter... and he and my boss go out to lunch together every day. I eat alone in my cubicle.

dude, he's probably banging her during lunch breaks!