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i'm 20 i still have to come home by 1 am. but then again i do live with them and they are sacrificing a lot to put me through school, feed me, clothe me, etc. so althought it may suck a lot with friends teasing and stuff, it's a small price to pay.
 
Get a clue..that's their way of telling you it'd time to spread your wings and buzz off. They got plans for your room.
 
Originally posted by: chin311
not in college, just finished a tech school course on 'computer electronics'.

moving in with my dad would be completely different, i would do it in a heartbeat, but im not sure about any jobs up there.

can't really afford to live on my own, if i did, i would have just enough to pay the bills.

you dont think some of these rules are ridicoulous?? given my age??
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Move in with your dad, or at least go spend some time with him to get a preview how it would work out and check out the job market. If that looks better then stay there.


 
Live at home and this is what you get. You want to be treated like an adult, then act like one. Move out on your own. You wont believe the respect they will gove you...
 
My daughter is 19 (20 in June) and lives at home. She's taking 15 units and working part time. The only bill she has is 1/2 of her car insurance. She has chores she does Monday - Friday. Other than that, no rules. She comes and goes as she pleases (she has to tell me or leave a note) and stays out however late she wants. But she knows that if any of that affects her schooling or work, she won't have that privilege any more.
I would restrict her and only allow her go to school/work and she knows that. My house, my rules. If she doesn't like it she knows she can always get her own place and pay all the bills. She also knows that if she follows some simple, reasonable rules, she has it made. Free housing/food/education, can't beat that.

EDIT
The reason my daughter has these rights is because she has never done anything to make me believe that she can't be trusted.
 
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
My daughter is 19 (20 in June) and lives at home. She's taking 15 units and working part time. The only bill she has is 1/2 of her car insurance. She has chores she does Monday - Friday. Other than that, no rules. She comes and goes as she pleases (she has to tell me or leave a note) and stays out however late she wants. But she knows that if any of that affects her schooling or work, she won't have that privilege any more.
I would restrict her and only allow her go to school/work and she knows that. My house, my rules. If she doesn't like it she knows she can always get her own place and pay all the bills. She also knows that if she follows some simple, reasonable rules, she has it made. Free housing/food/education, can't beat that.
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My parents were always very easy going. All they asked is that I let them know when I was leaving and approximately what time I would be back. If I was running late, all I had to do was call and let them know. My dad was a little more strict than my mom because he travelled a lot and rarely got to see me, so he asked that some nights I'd stay in and spend time with him.

 
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
My daughter is 19 (20 in June) and lives at home. She's taking 15 units and working part time. The only bill she has is 1/2 of her car insurance. She has chores she does Monday - Friday. Other than that, no rules. She comes and goes as she pleases (she has to tell me or leave a note) and stays out however late she wants. But she knows that if any of that affects her schooling or work, she won't have that privilege any more.
I would restrict her and only allow her go to school/work and she knows that. My house, my rules. If she doesn't like it she knows she can always get her own place and pay all the bills. She also knows that if she follows some simple, reasonable rules, she has it made. Free housing/food/education, can't beat that.
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My parents were always very easy going. All they asked is that I let them know when I was leaving and approximately what time I would be back. If I was running late, all I had to do was call and let them know. My dad was a little more strict than my mom because he travelled a lot and rarely got to see me, so he asked that some nights I'd stay in and spend time with him.
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Same here. The only reason I want to know these things from my daughter is so I know where to start looking if something should happen to her.

 
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Not really much you can do if they don't feel like changing. You either play by their rules or life will be hell for all of you. You will lose that battle.

If you can afford to move out, do it - Life on your own is MUCH better than living with your parents.

If you can't afford it, play nice for now & leave when you can afford it.

Viper GTS
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I agree with what Viper said. And dont think your the only one, I have some of the same problems, well not 1 and 2, but I have all the others. But the only choices are really to move out, or play it nice for a while until you can move on.
 
I am 18, and will be living with my parents untill fall term 2003. I don't like all of their rules, but guess what, I have to play by them. They pay my bills, buy me clothes, pay my taxes (my mom even checks to make sure I did them right) give me money for gas etc. I think you can stand to play by their rules given everything they probably do for you.
 
chin311
I must be doing something right. My daughter just gave the the new Audioslave CD with a note that says she loves me. When's the last time you've done something nice that you didn't have to do, for your parents?
 
I didn't read the whole thread, but everyone seems to agree that it's their house and therefore it's their rules...

I'm not trying to critic chin311, I'm just giving my point of view on the general topic.

Well I don't agree with everything. Parents should watch what their kids are doing and all that, but they shouldn't CONTROL their life. My mom would let me come back home at 3 in the morning when I was younger than 16 (I don't remember exactly how old, but I didn't have my licence at the time). I never got into any trouble and, to tell the truth, none of my friends ever got into any trouble. As long as I told her where I was going and when I planned to come back, she was cool about it.

Also I don't understand why some parents start charging their kids for rent. Hell, my mom bought the house by herself and she never asked me to pay for anything even if there is only one income in the house. Yes, I did work every single summer since I was 14, and worked 3 winters as a hockey referee and one as at a gas station so I never really had to ask her for money... but still. I know not all parents are able to pay for university/college for their childs but if they are smart enough to get a job and pay for themselves, I DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL why they would charge for rent or anything like that.

Thinking that my mom would charge me a rent isn't even something I have thought before reading this thread!!! Come on, why did they had a kid if they didn't want to help them? You're not 100x more expensive to them that you were the day before you turned 18.

Anyway I just don't understand that mentality I guess? All that doesn't sound like parental love to me anyway.
 
w0e, didnt think this would get read again.

well, parents went psycho las weekend, got my phone bill, so i was like whatever, im going to NY. they are trying to talk me out of it, but, still plan on going.
 
For what its worth, I'm 31, and my wife won't let me move my computer(s) 🙂 into our bedroom either...

And I thought I made the rules...
 
The only advice I could give would be try going to college and living in a dorm. Then, you're killing 2 birds with one stone... you'll be away from ur parents and you can get a bachelors/masters/phd/etc etc whatever you want. I see it as a win win situation. Just take out student loans if you dont think you could afford livin on campus, after graduating witha degree ull have plenty of cash to pay em off.
 
Originally posted by: chin311
w0e, didnt think this would get read again.

well, parents went psycho las weekend, got my phone bill, so i was like whatever, im going to NY. they are trying to talk me out of it, but, still plan on going.
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Just fly away..............
 
Originally posted by: chin311


you dont think some of these rules are ridicoulous?? given my age??
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why?...u think ur soo big coz ur 18?...i think they are tough on u coz they think ur still a kid or u haven't 'proven' yourself to them yet..that you are trustworthy or 'adult'. If u did, or u have, i think they would show more leniency.
 
IMO, you have no option but to move out. Every able-bodied adult should move out of their parents' house. Many parents say they want to help their kids out until they get on their feet. That's BS. Nothing teaches character, responsibility, and maturity than having to make it on your own. The other guys are right - their roof, their rules. But at 18, you shouldn't have to live by anyone's rules but your own. I say move out.
 
Do as you wish.

I will add that parental guidance is underrated. While bending your will to your parents may suck in the short term, many long term advantages can be gleaned. If your parents are planning on paying for college, it's best to live by their rules.

If you must, try engaging them in a rational dialogue. Why don't they want you to have the computer in your room? Are they worried you're going to be up all night watching pr0n, or are they more concerned about study habits? If it's the former case, just give 'em the straight up and explain that it doesn't really matter in any sense. If it's the latter, they may have a really great point. Working hard in school now will pay off big time later on.

Even at 22 I have a lot of bad habits. Sometimes it hurts to have someone force you to change them... but forget about overrated liberty. In a utilitarian sense, if your parents have good reasons, than go with it man.
 
Im guessing your about to finish highschool so after you graduate just find a roomate and the the hell out of that house lol. I'm Lucky that I have no restriction with my parents, but im still gonna go out and be my own man and live on my own when i graduate.
 
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