Zero Punctuation: The Witcher

Jeeebus

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2006
9,178
894
126
omg my eyes are tearing up after vacuum cleaner with puffer fish on the end.
 

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
vacuum cleaner with a puffer fish on the end?

I am seriously incapacitated right now.
 

Zenoth

Diamond Member
Jan 29, 2005
5,189
184
106
I wish I could understand everything he says in his reviews (I'm not English). The one I did catch most of his fast wording and typical British accent is for the BioShock review which I think I cried for since it was too funny at times. He's a good reviewer :)
 

Dimmu

Senior member
Jun 24, 2005
890
0
0
Originally posted by: Lipton
This guy gets better every time.

Not buying that game thats for sure....

Meh, I loved the game, and I also found the review to be hilarious. Can't judge it just by this.
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
82,854
17,365
136
Yet another good one.
I'm suprised I cant find a review of STALKER. I'd think such a game would be ripe for his nasty pen.
 

DangerAardvark

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2004
7,581
0
0
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Yet another good one.
I'm suprised I cant find a review of STALKER. I'd think such a game would be ripe for his nasty pen.

It would just go: good game, but buggy as a *blank* sucking off a *blank* under a *blank* whilst gently cupping his balls. Cue music.

Someone should make a Yahtzee review madlib. I totally would if I didn't have the web design skills of a ZEBRA sucking off a ABRAHAM LINCOLN beneath a UMBRELLA whilst gently cupping his balls.
 

Lonyo

Lifer
Aug 10, 2002
21,939
6
81
Originally posted by: Lipton
This guy gets better every time.

Not buying that game thats for sure....

Apparently hsi review wasn't entirely accurate, according to someone who played the game and watched the review.
I did neither so I can't vouch for the comment, but anyone who buys or doesn't buy a game based on one reviewer needs their head examined.
I heard he complained about the size of the manual...
 

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
Originally posted by: shortylickens
Yet another good one.
I'm suprised I cant find a review of STALKER. I'd think such a game would be ripe for his nasty pen.


He references it in his BioShock review as a "deeper, more complex FPS/RPG". Whether that's a compliment or not, I'm not sure.
 
Jan 22, 2008
37
0
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Originally posted by: Dimmu
Originally posted by: Lipton
This guy gets better every time.

Not buying that game thats for sure....

Meh, I loved the game, and I also found the review to be hilarious. Can't judge it just by this.

Thats true. I guess I need to play the game first. I`ll try it out.
Is there a demo for it as of now?
 

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,806
46
91
Originally posted by: Lipton
Originally posted by: Dimmu
Originally posted by: Lipton
This guy gets better every time.

Not buying that game thats for sure....

Meh, I loved the game, and I also found the review to be hilarious. Can't judge it just by this.

Thats true. I guess I need to play the game first. I`ll try it out.
Is there a demo for it as of now?

yes, there is a demo.
 

AyashiKaibutsu

Diamond Member
Jan 24, 2004
9,306
3
81
I only played the game up to when you fight those dogs and just kind of got disinterested in it so Yahtze made it farther than me... Something to remember about his reviews is he focuses almost entirely on the bad unless a game has some incredible redeeming value. I like him for that it seems modern reviews try everything they can to avoid badmouthing games so he's good for getting the otherside of the story.
 

chizow

Diamond Member
Jun 26, 2001
9,537
2
0
Its definitely funny, but I'm not sure you can call it a review, more like comedy or satire. There's certainly elements of truth to what he's saying but he relies on hyperbole, sarcasm and wit to get his point across, which is to be funny, otherwise the review wouldn't really be worth watching would it? As Ayashi said, he's always going to focus on the negatives in order to be witty, but realistically, a review done by him with all praises and glowing comments would be as funny as any documentary on PBS narrated by someone with a dry British accent.
 

NYHoustonman

Platinum Member
Dec 8, 2002
2,642
0
0
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: Lipton
Originally posted by: Dimmu
Originally posted by: Lipton
This guy gets better every time.

Not buying that game thats for sure....

Meh, I loved the game, and I also found the review to be hilarious. Can't judge it just by this.

Thats true. I guess I need to play the game first. I`ll try it out.
Is there a demo for it as of now?

yes, there is a demo.

And, as has been said several times (not necessarily in this thread O.O ), don't base your opinions on the demo. I thought it sucked but I picked up the game while it was on sale and it turned out to be a damned good RPG.
 

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
Originally posted by: NYHoustonman
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: Lipton
Originally posted by: Dimmu
Originally posted by: Lipton
This guy gets better every time.

Not buying that game thats for sure....

Meh, I loved the game, and I also found the review to be hilarious. Can't judge it just by this.

Thats true. I guess I need to play the game first. I`ll try it out.
Is there a demo for it as of now?

yes, there is a demo.

And, as has been said several times (not necessarily in this thread O.O ), don't base your opinions on the demo. I thought it sucked but I picked up the game while it was on sale and it turned out to be a damned good RPG.


See, I just can't get behind this. Whenever someone says "Don't base your opinions on the demo!", I get surly.

The entire purpose of a demo's existence is to showcase the things that are cool and enticing about a product - in other words, to convey to me why I should buy it. If a demo does a shitty job of this, the developers have no one to blame but themselves, and I'm not going to buy their damn game, no matter how good everyone else says the full version is, because I played what they offered up and it wasn't fun.

EDIT: To be clear, this is NOT to say that the Witcher/it's demo is not fun. I have not played either, and really don't plan to because what I have heard about this game makes it sound like a very generic swords n elves fantasy RPG, which I'm pretty damn well overloaded on, and thus I don't have interest. But if it sounds like your bag, go for it.
 

CP5670

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2004
5,508
586
126
Its definitely funny, but I'm not sure you can call it a review, more like comedy or satire. There's certainly elements of truth to what he's saying but he relies on hyperbole, sarcasm and wit to get his point across, which is to be funny, otherwise the review wouldn't really be worth watching would it? As Ayashi said, he's always going to focus on the negatives in order to be witty, but realistically, a review done by him with all praises and glowing comments would be as funny as any documentary on PBS narrated by someone with a dry British accent.

Exactly. I watch his stuff for the entertainment value, not to get a detailed and unbiased analysis of a game. I haven't played this game and have no interest in it, but this review doesn't disappoint one bit. :laugh:
 

coloumb

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,096
0
81
LOL - good review. However, his negativity kicked in as soon as he "realized" it's a single player MMORPG.... :)

Too bad his review that there is an actual storyline to the game... not just mind-numbing repetitive killing like you do in an mmorpg.. :)