Your oddest tech support calls

[AgentZap]

Customer: I have 4 computers in front of me

Me: you mean monitors?

Customer: Uh ya right monitors.

Me: Ok then right click on your wallpaper--

Customer: You mean my screen saver?

Me: No, your wallpaper...



Am I the only one who hates when people call their wallpaper their screen saver?

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: lnguyen

Originally posted by: sm8000
Pic

boo.. doesn't work

Get a life.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: AgentZap
Customer: I have 4 computers in front of me

Me: you mean monitors?

Customer: Uh ya right monitors.

Me: Ok then right click on your wallpaper--

Customer: You mean my screen saver?

Me: No, your wallpaper...

Yea they do tend to do that. But it's a desktop, not a wallpaper.

Am I the only one who hates when people call their wallpaper their screen saver?

 

[Kaido]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

There's a point where you have to stop nitpicking so much. Iirc there was someone filing a lawsuit against hard drive manufacturers for the master / slave model :roll:

haha found this in a completely unrelated search just now.

does anyone know where you get those computer label stickers that you stick on cords and the back of the computer? those things seem like they would make life SO much easier...

 

[randomlinh]

Originally posted by: SarcasticDwarf

Originally posted by: lnguyen

Originally posted by: sm8000
Pic

boo.. doesn't work

Get a life.

never

 

[DrEldarion]

Some of the software I support is online educational software to help kids review for a major state test. The contract only says that we're supposed to be taking calls from parents and teachers, but unfortunately, until recently, we were supporting parents as well.

90% of the parent e-mails are as follows:

"hlp the program does not work".

Without ANY other information.

My favorite, though, was the one that said in the e-mail that they were "VERY internet smart", and that their ISP was Internet Explorer.

 

[SVT Cobra]

someone once called me(a firend) and said their cup holder broke off...(this was back in the 66mgz IBM aptiva days) and after talking back and forth for like 20 mins trying to figure out what he was saying it i finally realized he meant his cd-rom drive

 

[AgentZap]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: AgentZap
Customer: I have 4 computers in front of me

Me: you mean monitors?

Customer: Uh ya right monitors.

Me: Ok then right click on your wallpaper--

Customer: You mean my screen saver?

Me: No, your wallpaper...

Yea they do tend to do that. But it's a desktop, not a wallpaper.

Am I the only one who hates when people call their wallpaper their screen saver?

The software I support calls different instances of the app "Desktops" so I find it is less confusing to say wallpaper.

 

[shilala]

Originally posted by: Gurck
This is scary stuff... I can barely handle tech support for family & friends without blowing up (and do occasionally), and couldn't handle doing it as my job...

My sister-in-law makes me go "snap" in about 5 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion that a computer is so far over her head that her having one is just plain wrong.

 

[imported_Reck]

Hehe I read through the whole thread, funny stuff.

I help my family with computer stuff every once in awhile...I'm pretty patient with them. I had to teach my mom to use a computer...that wasnt' much fun lol.

 

[imported_malcontent]

Great thread...

I am still waiting for someone to suggest to the caller that they defraggle the motherdrive. :laugh:

 

[kingshoc]

Great read LOL

 

[kobymu]

Originally posted by: malcontent
Great thread...

I am still waiting for someone to suggest to the caller that they defraggle the motherdrive. :laugh:

or goggle for help when the internet stops working.

OLDSCHOLL
error: keyboard not present. press F1 to continue

 

[skyking]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

i don't know which reality you are from, but in todays reality there is no difference between a ps/2 mouse port and a ps/2 keyboard port.

the older keyboard plug wouldn't fit in a ps/2 port AT ALL as it is way to big and there is no way you can get a older keyboard plug into a serial mouse port.

given any of the scenarios above, you are the idiot.

I had a friend bring a computer by for reinstallation. The folks he was building it for had dialup, and the updates would have been grueling, to say the least.

I trie to plug my KVM cables into it, but no luck with the keyboard. WTF????

The little square plastic piece had broken off the keyboard cable inside the jack in the back of the motherboard. I tried picking it out with dental tools, and finally had to get my makita and DRILL the sucker out!

My favorite recurring story is about shared printers.

>The printer does not work.
<is it plugged in to your computer?
>no, it is plugged into that other one, but it usually works...
<is the other computer turned on?
>no
<.......turn it on

 

[TeeJay1952]

Originally posted by: puffff
MOM: How do i turn on the computer?
ME: There should be a power button on the computer case, just press that.
MOM: It's not working.
ME: What happens when you press it?
MOM: An orange light comes on, but nothing shows up on the screen.
(after a moment of thinking)
ME: Press the power button on the computer case, not the monitor. The computer case should probably on the floor somewhere.

Had the same thing happen when a client got his 4,000 dollar Dell delivered.

 

[bret]

Originally posted by: Trey22
Oddest/scariest one ever was when a client had a heart attack while we were on the phone troubleshooting his system.

thats when you hang up the phoe real quick and start to whistle like nothing happened... and yes im an a$$

 

[Muse]

Originally posted by: bret

Originally posted by: Trey22
Oddest/scariest one ever was when a client had a heart attack while we were on the phone troubleshooting his system.

thats when you hang up the phoe real quick and start to whistle like nothing happened... and yes im an a$$

It never happened to me, but it's not that much trouble to call 911 or something, ya know. There's no reason in a situation like that to pretend it didn't happen. It's no skin off your A$$ if you call the cops, a hospital, 911, whoever. I don't get your reasoning.

 

[Muse]

Originally posted by: shilala

Originally posted by: Gurck
This is scary stuff... I can barely handle tech support for family & friends without blowing up (and do occasionally), and couldn't handle doing it as my job...

My sister-in-law makes me go "snap" in about 5 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion that a computer is so far over her head that her having one is just plain wrong.

I've done years of tech support and I have to say that my worst experience in memory was my sister-in-law. There must be an explanation. It felt like some kind of psychological torture. I've had to deal with some pretty bad cases, but none could rival her. Other than with her computer I've never had much trouble with her. This was over the phone stuff, but I've done a whole lot of that.

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: lnguyen

Originally posted by: sm8000
Pic

boo.. doesn't work

i think i STILL have that picture on my server

 

[apac]

her: how do I get rid of spy ware?
me: go to start -> run
me: and type go go gadget spyware
her: yeah it says thats invalid

I love messing with my computer illiterate friends.

 

[tRaptor]

I also work support. What I love is the Randomness of it all. For example a user that has had a problem for more then a month and a half, I am always left wondering WHY they waited so long to call, and why does it have to be at 12:32 on the day i decided to skip lunch.......

I'll have more later.

and i would like to see that pic. I'll host if anyone has it.....

 

[MustangSVT]

Originally posted by: puffff
MOM: How do i turn on the computer?
ME: There should be a power button on the computer case, just press that.
MOM: It's not working.
ME: What happens when you press it?
MOM: An orange light comes on, but nothing shows up on the screen.
(after a moment of thinking)
ME: Press the power button on the computer case, not the monitor. The computer case should probably on the floor somewhere.

quite common actually.

I once called Comcast with issues of 50% and greater packet loss issue.

they told me to clear my cookie...

dipshits...

 

[myusername]

Originally posted by: brunswickite
I worked at a computer helpdesk for my school.

user: hello, uhh, i would like to change my email username, i think....
me: um ok, well you have to fill out a form, why would you like to change it?
user: i think its screwed up...
me: why?
user: well the online form i used to create it said "input 'username' in box to create email account so i did...
me: <laughing> so wait your username is username?
user: yes
me: hahahah

There's nothing funny about that :|

 

[Maetryx]

This is a great thread. It reminds of a few stories.

Once my boss' monitor screen had turned almost all green, like everything was in shades of green. Since RGB means red/green/blue I figured that some of his VGA pins were bent or something. In fact, he had somehow (*somehow*) managed to put his VGA cable upside down into the video card. I mean, he must have put some force on it. I have no idea why he had it disconnected in the first place.

One time I sold a computer to a guy. This was back in the days of the Turbo button to select between the hyper mind blowing speed of 25MHz or the head exploding beyond reality 33MHz. Anyway he called to tell me that his computer had slowed way down. I told him to push the Turbo button. End of call.

 

[Kyteland]

I can't claim this one for myself, but it was pretty funny when I read it.

A support representative friend of mine came up to me one day and said that he thought he had done something wrong. He had been walking a novice Mac user through rebuilding her desktop. She tiresomely questioned every direction the technician made. After half an hour of patiently talking her through what should have been a one minute process, she finally stated, "Oh! Now it says, 'Are you sure you want to rebuild the desktop on the disk XXX?'"
Tech Support: "Ok--"
Customer: "Oh, now there's something like a spinning barber pole on the screen."
Tech Support: "You didn't press 'OK' did you?"
Customer: "Yes. You said 'OK'."
Tech Support: (acting alarmed) "I just said 'Ok,' I didn't mean for you to press 'OK'!"
Customer: (panicking) "What should I do now?"
Tech Support: "Run! Get out of there! Run! Run!"
The next thing he heard was the phone hitting the floor, the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps, and a door slam. After numerous calls over the course of an hour, the customer finally answered the phone. She had waited outside for an hour -- when the computer didn't explode, she went back inside and unplugged it.