your favourite Monty Python quote?
- Thread starter clintT
- Start date
Troll Bridge Keeper - "Whoever cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three, and the other side he see."
Sir. Lancelot - "Ask the questions, I'm not afraid."
Troll - "What!...Is you name?"
Lancelot - "My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot"
Troll - "What!...Is you quest?"
Lancelot - "To seek the holy grail."
Troll - "What!...Is your favorite color?!"
Lancelot - "Blue"
Troll - "Fine, off you go."
Lancelot - ....."oh, thankyou....thank you very much."
Sir. Lancelot - "Ask the questions, I'm not afraid."
Troll - "What!...Is you name?"
Lancelot - "My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot"
Troll - "What!...Is you quest?"
Lancelot - "To seek the holy grail."
Troll - "What!...Is your favorite color?!"
Lancelot - "Blue"
Troll - "Fine, off you go."
Lancelot - ....."oh, thankyou....thank you very much."
LOL,
TFP!
I like
....nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
I just so happen to have the first and second seasons on DVD. Wanna come over and have MP party?
TFP!
I like
....nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
I just so happen to have the first and second seasons on DVD. Wanna come over and have MP party?
And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying "O Lord bless
this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to
tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and people did feast
upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and
breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...
... Er ... oh, yes ... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no
less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of
the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count
thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right
out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then
lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who
being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to
tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and people did feast
upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and
breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...
... Er ... oh, yes ... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no
less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of
the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count
thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right
out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then
lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who
being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
dennilfloss
Past Lifer 1957-2014 In Memoriam
"Every sperm is sacred!"
There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
there are Hindus and Mormons and then
there are those that follow Mohammed -but-
I've never been one of them.
I am a Roman Catholic
and have been since before I was born,
and the one thing they say about Catholics is
they'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on, you're
a Catholic the moment dad came
...Because...
Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate. (2x)
Let the heathens spill theirs,
on the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted,
every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed,
in your neighborhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere
but God loves those who treat their
semen with more care.
(misc choruses)
Every sperm is useful,
every sperm is fine.
God needs everybodies,
mine, and mine, and mine.
Let the pagans spill theirs
on mountain hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
each sperm that's spilled in vain.
(misc. choruses and finale)
Steel Driving Man (The Demotrons)
There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
there are Hindus and Mormons and then
there are those that follow Mohammed -but-
I've never been one of them.
I am a Roman Catholic
and have been since before I was born,
and the one thing they say about Catholics is
they'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on, you're
a Catholic the moment dad came
...Because...
Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate. (2x)
Let the heathens spill theirs,
on the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted,
every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed,
in your neighborhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere
but God loves those who treat their
semen with more care.
(misc choruses)
Every sperm is useful,
every sperm is fine.
God needs everybodies,
mine, and mine, and mine.
Let the pagans spill theirs
on mountain hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
each sperm that's spilled in vain.
(misc. choruses and finale)
Steel Driving Man (The Demotrons)
...now go away or i shall taunt you a second time! 
...i'm french you silly king, why do you think i have this outrageous accent!
...your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of wild elderberries!
and my fav classic quote:
run away! run away!
...i'm french you silly king, why do you think i have this outrageous accent!
...your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of wild elderberries!
and my fav classic quote:
run away! run away!
Loosely quoted:
Patron: I'm stuffed.
Maitre'd: But sir, just a wafer thin mint.
Patron: I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite.
Maitre'd: Oh but monseiur, just one wafer thin mint.
Patron: All right.
(Maitre'd puts mint on tongue of Patron, then Patron vomits all over)
Like I said, loosely quoted. It's my favorite scene of all the Python films.
Patron: I'm stuffed.
Maitre'd: But sir, just a wafer thin mint.
Patron: I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite.
Maitre'd: Oh but monseiur, just one wafer thin mint.
Patron: All right.
(Maitre'd puts mint on tongue of Patron, then Patron vomits all over)
Like I said, loosely quoted. It's my favorite scene of all the Python films.
Oh, thanks you guys! The tears are streaming down my face!
I'll tell you when the cookies are ready.
Anyone remember the Lumberjack Song? I can't remember how it goes...
I'll tell you when the cookies are ready.
Anyone remember the Lumberjack Song? I can't remember how it goes...
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. I chop down trees and I sing all day.
I forget the rest..except for the end...Just like my dear Mawmaw.
I forget the rest..except for the end...Just like my dear Mawmaw.
Woooohooo, CGirl!
Wow, now I'm wishing I really could invite all of you over for a Monty Python party.
When I was a little girl, about 6 or 7, my big brother (who was 16 or 17) would wake me and one of my sisters up every Saturday night so we could watch the original SNL and MP with him.
Was he a great bro or what?
Wow, now I'm wishing I really could invite all of you over for a Monty Python party.
When I was a little girl, about 6 or 7, my big brother (who was 16 or 17) would wake me and one of my sisters up every Saturday night so we could watch the original SNL and MP with him.
Was he a great bro or what?
My fondest MP memories are from when MTV used to run it at night paired with The Young Ones. THAT was one funny hour.
Isla,
Well if you have a Monty Python party me and jonnyGURU will be the first to bang on your door with beer and nachos.
Well if you have a Monty Python party me and jonnyGURU will be the first to bang on your door with beer and nachos.
another one for me
SHUTUP! WILL YOU SHUTUP!
now we see the violence inherent in system.
SHUTUP!
come see the violence inherent in system, HELP HELP i am being repressed!
BLOODED peasant!
SHUTUP! WILL YOU SHUTUP!
now we see the violence inherent in system.
SHUTUP!
come see the violence inherent in system, HELP HELP i am being repressed!
BLOODED peasant!
Lumberjack Lyrics (Encore in italics):
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
He's a lumberjack and he's ok,
he sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea!
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea!
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers,
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars!
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wild flowers,
He puts on womens clothing and hangs around in bars?!?!?!
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I wear high heels suspenders and a bra,
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels, suspenders and a braaa?!?!?!?!
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack and he's OKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I like "Now go away before I point my private parts at you, you silly English Kannnigits!"
Also, the entire argument sketch.
"Hello,is this the right room for an argument?"
"I've told you once."
"No you haven't.
"Yes I have!"
"When?"
"Just now."
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
etc...
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
He's a lumberjack and he's ok,
he sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea!
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea!
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers,
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars!
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wild flowers,
He puts on womens clothing and hangs around in bars?!?!?!
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I wear high heels suspenders and a bra,
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels, suspenders and a braaa?!?!?!?!
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack and he's OKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I like "Now go away before I point my private parts at you, you silly English Kannnigits!"
Also, the entire argument sketch.
"Hello,is this the right room for an argument?"
"I've told you once."
"No you haven't.
"Yes I have!"
"When?"
"Just now."
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
etc...
try one of these! you can't go wrong!
the holy grail
meaning of life
life of brian
damn i forgot about life of brian. what was that guys name?
ah, bigg'is dick'is
the holy grail
meaning of life
life of brian
damn i forgot about life of brian. what was that guys name?
ah, bigg'is dick'is
"Pope to Michaelangelo:
-There were only 12 disciples in the last supper!
-TWELVE???????
- Yes, 12
- Well, there must have been a supper before the LAST supper! I'll call it the one but last supper: THE PENULTIMATE SUPPER!
- No! I ordered a last supper from you, so I want no kangaroos, no tranpolins, no clowns, just the 12 disciples and ONE Christ!
- ONE???????????????????"
... and goes on and on...
-There were only 12 disciples in the last supper!
-TWELVE???????
- Yes, 12
- Well, there must have been a supper before the LAST supper! I'll call it the one but last supper: THE PENULTIMATE SUPPER!
- No! I ordered a last supper from you, so I want no kangaroos, no tranpolins, no clowns, just the 12 disciples and ONE Christ!
- ONE???????????????????"
... and goes on and on...
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