YOU SEE WHAT THEiR DOING TO US?

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purplebeeper123

Banned
May 13, 2012
21
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RICHMOND, VA—Executives at Philip Morris USA this week unveiled Marlboro Earth, a new eco-friendly cigarette that gradually eliminates the causes of global warming and environmental destruction at their source.
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"By killing off the No. 1 threat to the environment, new Marlboro Earths will have a long-term effect on the overall health of our planet," Philip Morris spokesperson Janet Weiss said. "If everyone in America does their part and joins our new green-smoking movement, then together we can eradicate man's destructive practices once and for all."
According to a press release from Philip Morris, the new environmentally friendly cigarettes work by employing powerful carcinogens that accumulate in the lungs of smokers, slowly breaking down their vital organs and eliminating the danger posed to the overpopulated planet by the human race.
Because Marlboro Earths take decades to work, the company stresses that people should start using them as early as possible, ideally during childhood or adolescence, in order to maximize the product's effectiveness.
"We've got to get everybody on board, the sooner the better," said Weiss, stressing that nothing less than the fate of the planet was at stake. "It doesn't take much. As few as two packs of Marlboro Earths a day can make all the difference in the world."
"Go ahead," Weiss continued. "Light up, breathe in, and help save Mother Earth."
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An environmentally conscious smoker does his part to make a difference about once every 20 minutes or so.
Although industry research indicates people do offer some secondary benefits to the planet, such as recycling programs and wind power generators, studies have concluded these efforts fail to offset the disastrous potential of humanity.
According to Philip Morris, Marlboro Earths are the first green product to address that threat head-on.
"Wildlife habitat encroachment, climate change, the exploitation of precious natural resources—they can all become a thing of the past," said James Freedman, a member of the marketing team tasked with branding the new product. "Smoke these cool, clean Marlboro Earths every chance you get, and you'll reduce your carbon footprint to zero in no time."
Added Freedman, "Plus, you'll look really sophisticated and glamorous while doing it."
The new cigarettes, released in limited test-market cities over the past two months, will be ready for a national rollout in mid-June. An ad campaign with the slogan "Marlboro Earth: Saving the Environment One Customer at a Time" has already been launched, and the product's iconic new packaging, which is similar to the traditional Marlboro design but also features a tree, is reportedly testing "through the roof" with consumers.
In initial product trials, the eco-cigarettes have proven popular among smokers.
"I leave work three to five times a day to stand outside and help the environment," said longtime smoker Sam Davies, an office worker in Raleigh, NC. "And the best thing about them is they make saving the planet incredibly addictive. After only a few hours, I get the uncontrollable urge to go out and help the environment some more."
Philip Morris executives stressed that the new cigarettes, which contain the same great taste smokers have come to expect from Marlboro, but with nearly three times the tar and carbon monoxide, could make a huge difference in as little as 40 to 50 years, cutting down on urban sprawl, overpopulation, and eventually helping to enrich the soil with powerful fertilizers.
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SEE THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO GET RID OF THOSS GODDAMN LIBERL HIPPYS AND BRING GOD BACK INTO OUR CUNTRY,,,, thx gl gb.
 
destrekor

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
359
126
Broheim said:
tweakboy probably.
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Hell, what finally got the mod's to ban that asshat anyhow?

His entire presence was wiped from the forums - all of his posts are completely gone, including any of his threads. They did some serious cleanup after him. I suspect it was the Windows 8 trolling and asshattery that finally tipped the scales, though he was always a douche with a holier than thou attitude regarding technology - I actually feel sorry for anyone who actually listened to his opinions about any piece of technology. He thought he was some kind of tech god lol.


I never even noticed this new user was ever around. I saw a few posts, each time already having the Banned tag under his name. His "sign-off" at the end of every post is a dead giveaway, not sure why he continued that.

Comical that he registered a second account well before he finally got the main account banned. He probably knew it was inevitable and wanted an account ready when it happened. :D


Oh holy hell searching "tweakboy" landed me in P&N. :shudder:
 
PottedMeat

PottedMeat

Lifer
Apr 17, 2002
12,363
475
126
destrekor said:
Hell, what finally got the mod's to ban that asshat anyhow?

His entire presence was wiped from the forums - all of his posts are completely gone, including any of his threads. They did some serious cleanup after him. I suspect it was the Windows 8 trolling and asshattery that finally tipped the scales, though he was always a douche with a holier than thou attitude regarding technology - I actually feel sorry for anyone who actually listened to his opinions about any piece of technology. He thought he was some kind of tech god lol.
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well i'll be damned, that's why cpus seems cleaner lately.
 
dawp

dawp

Lifer
Jul 2, 2005
11,347
2,710
136
op, you do know the difference between their and they're, don't you?
 
destrekor

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
359
126
dawp said:
op, you do know the difference between their and they're, don't you?
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OP won't be responding anytime soon, I don't imagine. :p


And he never seemed all that bright regarding the English language, so probably not. ;)
 
Eureka

Eureka

Diamond Member
Sep 6, 2005
3,822
1
81
destrekor said:
Hell, what finally got the mod's to ban that asshat anyhow?

His entire presence was wiped from the forums - all of his posts are completely gone, including any of his threads. They did some serious cleanup after him. I suspect it was the Windows 8 trolling and asshattery that finally tipped the scales, though he was always a douche with a holier than thou attitude regarding technology - I actually feel sorry for anyone who actually listened to his opinions about any piece of technology. He thought he was some kind of tech god lol.


I never even noticed this new user was ever around. I saw a few posts, each time already having the Banned tag under his name. His "sign-off" at the end of every post is a dead giveaway, not sure why he continued that.

Comical that he registered a second account well before he finally got the main account banned. He probably knew it was inevitable and wanted an account ready when it happened. :D


Oh holy hell searching "tweakboy" landed me in P&N. :shudder:
Click to expand...

What did happen? I also realized he was missing, did a search and landed me your post.
 
Broheim

Broheim

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2011
4,587
3
81
destrekor said:
Hell, what finally got the mod's to ban that asshat anyhow?

His entire presence was wiped from the forums - all of his posts are completely gone, including any of his threads. They did some serious cleanup after him. I suspect it was the Windows 8 trolling and asshattery that finally tipped the scales, though he was always a douche with a holier than thou attitude regarding technology - I actually feel sorry for anyone who actually listened to his opinions about any piece of technology. He thought he was some kind of tech god lol.


I never even noticed this new user was ever around. I saw a few posts, each time already having the Banned tag under his name. His "sign-off" at the end of every post is a dead giveaway, not sure why he continued that.

Comical that he registered a second account well before he finally got the main account banned. He probably knew it was inevitable and wanted an account ready when it happened. :D


Oh holy hell searching "tweakboy" landed me in P&N. :shudder:
Click to expand...

DrPizza told me afterwards it wasn't tweakboy, but I have no clue what finally got him banned.
 
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