"You people are all a bunch of assholes!"

[jtvang125]

Watch out for packages with residues of a white powdery substance.

 

[Phoenix86]

Originally posted by: UNCjigga
Dude, if he seems likely to shoot up the place, most likely he'll do it today (before cooling down over the weekend) so I'd leave work early and play golf NOW! (Its for your health!)

We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

 

[Queasy]

Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!

 

[Medicine Bear]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
tell the story about the fat woman and the vending machine!

Here and here

Probably some others as well. I'll look.

 

[Medicine Bear]

Originally posted by: Queasy
Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!

:thumbsup:

 

[Phoenix86]

Keep firing assholes!

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: ahurtt

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear

Originally posted by: DPmaster

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
Just got back from the accounting and I.T. deparments, wanted to see what happened. Why the I.T. department? You'll see. Apparently the guy was in his mid 50's and was a bit of a weirdo, I can't help but think Milton.

So anyway he got pissed yesterday afternoon because his monitor went bad and I.T. took him a new one. Well this new one was silver and didn't match his black PC, keyboard, mouse, etc... like his old black one did. He started throwing a fit at the tech guy saying he wanted a black monitor, guy tried to explain to him that every monitor they have purchased in the last year has been silver. Wasn't good enough for this guy, Ted is his name by the way, so he continued to throw a fit about it. Went to his manager and was complaining about it and his manager told him that was just the way it was going to be. Guy went back to his cubicle and seemed to give it a rest. Guess he stewed on it or something because he sent out the email last night about 5:15 and left. End of story right?

Not so fast sparky. Before good ol Ted left he destroyed the monitor. Put a fist through it from what the people in I.T. told me. So now they are going to press charges against Ted the wise. I'm guessing the police will be paying him a visit today.

If I hear more I'll keep everyone posted. God how I love working in this soap opera. Between angry fat women destroying vending machines and now Ted going apesh1t on a monitor the fun never ends around here.

Hmm just a quick question but did this Ted have a last name that started with an "F". The reason I ask is because we used to have someone named Ted work for us a few years ago until he got fired and escorted out of the building by some police officers. He was also in accounting. Only reason I ask is because I noticed you were in TX.

Man that would be too freaky but this guy's last name started with a G. Close alphabetically though.

He's just concealing his identity by going from job to job changing his last name to something that starts with each consecutive letter of the alphabet. Watch out. . .when he works his way up to 'K' time for a Killing spree!

F comes before G, so if he's going in backward order it could be a while.

 

[tikwanleap]

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: ahurtt

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear

Originally posted by: DPmaster

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
Just got back from the accounting and I.T. deparments, wanted to see what happened. Why the I.T. department? You'll see. Apparently the guy was in his mid 50's and was a bit of a weirdo, I can't help but think Milton.

So anyway he got pissed yesterday afternoon because his monitor went bad and I.T. took him a new one. Well this new one was silver and didn't match his black PC, keyboard, mouse, etc... like his old black one did. He started throwing a fit at the tech guy saying he wanted a black monitor, guy tried to explain to him that every monitor they have purchased in the last year has been silver. Wasn't good enough for this guy, Ted is his name by the way, so he continued to throw a fit about it. Went to his manager and was complaining about it and his manager told him that was just the way it was going to be. Guy went back to his cubicle and seemed to give it a rest. Guess he stewed on it or something because he sent out the email last night about 5:15 and left. End of story right?

Not so fast sparky. Before good ol Ted left he destroyed the monitor. Put a fist through it from what the people in I.T. told me. So now they are going to press charges against Ted the wise. I'm guessing the police will be paying him a visit today.

If I hear more I'll keep everyone posted. God how I love working in this soap opera. Between angry fat women destroying vending machines and now Ted going apesh1t on a monitor the fun never ends around here.

Hmm just a quick question but did this Ted have a last name that started with an "F". The reason I ask is because we used to have someone named Ted work for us a few years ago until he got fired and escorted out of the building by some police officers. He was also in accounting. Only reason I ask is because I noticed you were in TX.

Man that would be too freaky but this guy's last name started with a G. Close alphabetically though.

He's just concealing his identity by going from job to job changing his last name to something that starts with each consecutive letter of the alphabet. Watch out. . .when he works his way up to 'K' time for a Killing spree!

F comes before G, so if he's going in backward order it could be a while.

He's going forward... eh whatever, why I am even talking about this...

 

[Armitage]

Wow - what a way to fvck up your life :roll:

"Well, I had a decent middle class job bringinging in some coin. But I went apesh|t over the color of the computer they gave me so now I'm unemployed, with a polices record, in Greenland."

 

[MartyMcFly3]

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear

Originally posted by: Crazyfool
Stupid way to lose a job but I can't believe the company is trying to drag the cops into the mess. Not sure I would want to work for those people either. :laugh:

Ummmm because he destroyed company property. A nice big, 21 inch maybe larger, BLACK monitor that I'm sure wasn't cheap.

Why does everything have to be BLACK with you?

 

[Medicine Bear]

Originally posted by: MartyMcFly3

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear

Originally posted by: Crazyfool
Stupid way to lose a job but I can't believe the company is trying to drag the cops into the mess. Not sure I would want to work for those people either. :laugh:

Ummmm because he destroyed company property. A nice big, 21 inch maybe larger, BLACK monitor that I'm sure wasn't cheap.

Why does everything have to be BLACK with you?

You got a problem with that cracka?

 

[rh71]

accounting alone would drive anyone nuts.

 

[Phoenix86]

Corporate accounting, Nina speaking... Just a moment!
Corporate accounting, Nina speaking... Just a moment!
Corporate accounting, Nina speaking... Just a moment!
Corporate accounting, Nina speaking... Just a moment!
Corporate accounting, Nina speaking... Just a moment!

 

[Medicine Bear]

Originally posted by: rh71
accounting alone would drive anyone nuts.

true