You know... I realized I learned lots of soft skills throughout my career.

[Zeze]

I think that's those are the most important things I learned.

- 1:1, speaking with authority and getting what you need.
- how to guide people into investing in you (be it knowledge transfer, learning about their platform, workflow etc).
-my role (proj mgr) has me meet lots of people by design. Hell, I'm even good at small talk now and might I dare say, I enjoy it at times.
-confidence breeds competence -> this is bidirectional. this is big.

It's so true about life, no matter what you do, whether you like it or not, you learn to be better at it. As a matter of fact, you have no choice but to get better at it simply by being exposed to it and weathering through it.

Now that 20s, 30s, are behind me - there's a real wisdom gotten here too. I've seen some sh|t. First hand. Haven't we all? You become more grounded and even shrug things off (e.g. meh I've survived worse).

 

[Exterous]

I've learned how to say a lot of words to make people feel happy while leaning towards what I want them to do

 

[Zeze]

Ya little bits of those (done genuinely) go a long way.

 

[dank69]

 

[BudAshes]

I think that's those are the most important things I learned.

- 1:1, speaking with authority and getting what you need.
- how to guide people into investing in you (be it knowledge transfer, learning about their platform, workflow etc).
-my role (proj mgr) has me meet lots of people by design. Hell, I'm even good at small talk now and might I dare say, I enjoy it at times.
-confidence breeds competence -> this is bidirectional. this is big.

It's so true about life, no matter what you do, whether you like it or not, you learn to be better at it. As a matter of fact, you have no choice but to get better at it simply by being exposed to it and weathering through it.

Now that 20s, 30s, are behind me - there's a real wisdom gotten here too. I've seen some sh|t. First hand. Haven't we all? You become more grounded and even shrug things off (e.g. meh I've survived worse).

 

[Captante]

1:1, speaking with authority REGARDLESS OF HAVING ANY IDEA WHATSOEVER WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT and getting what you need. YOUR OWN WAY.

Fixed.

 

[ultimatebob]

I've learned how to say a lot of words to make people feel happy while leaning towards what I want them to do

Meh... if you're like any of my recent managers, you really weren't fooling anyone. We actually hated your guts, but played along with the "pretending to be happy" BS because it was easier than arguing. We both knew what the eventual outcome of the conversation was going to be, so why bother fighting it?

 

[Exterous]

Meh... if you're like any of my recent managers, you really weren't fooling anyone. We actually hated your guts, but played along with the "pretending to be happy" BS because it was easier than arguing. We both knew what the eventual outcome of the conversation was going to be, so why bother fighting it?

Different situation. I wasn't talking about people I manage where I can mandate something but instead where I need\want a large org to do something and I don't have the ability to make a decree. So I have to influence a fair number of people to do it and if they hate me or the idea they can tell me to go pound sand. And the only reason I am talking to them is that they aren't already doing that thing by choice or ignorance.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Part of it is also just getting older, having more experience, and learning to say "Fuck off" instead of "Yes, sir, what else can I do for you?". Plenty of people just have unrealistic expectations, they do things stupidly, and they think they can pass it on to people that won't pushback.

 

[ultimatebob]

Part of it is also just getting older, having more experience, and learning to say "Fuck off" instead of "Yes, sir, what else can I do for you?". Plenty of people just have unrealistic expectations, they do things stupidly, and they think they can pass it on to people that won't pushback.

The real trick is figuring out how to tell people to F off without pissing them off. I've found that "My schedule is kinda tight right now, I'll see it we can squeeze that work in soon!" usually works for awhile, at least until I can get a manager to kill their stupid project

 

[snoopy7548]

The real trick is figuring out how to tell people to F off without pissing them off. I've found that "My schedule is kinda tight right now, I'll see it we can squeeze that work in soon!" usually works for awhile, at least until I can get a manager to kill their stupid project

"I've got a meeting in ten minutes, so can you shoot me an e-mail and cc my boss? Thanks!" Usually results in no e-mail and them forgetting about it or finding someone else to do it.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

The real trick is figuring out how to tell people to F off without pissing them off. I've found that "My schedule is kinda tight right now, I'll see it we can squeeze that work in soon!" usually works for awhile, at least until I can get a manager to kill their stupid project

Even if it does piss them off - it doesn't REALLY matter if they don't have any real authority over you.

It's actually what I like about being in sales. Were all on equal playing field. We go in to opportunities with a team of folks, and were on the same playing field. No one has authority over the other. If someone wants to point fingers on a loss or something - that just gets escalated up to the big-wigs, which usually doesn't happen.

I would think project management would be kinda similar, well - except for the grunt workers of it or the "associates". Projects (at least BIG implementation ones like ERP systems) have tons of teams that all report up. Everyone is pretty much on equal playing field there as well.

 

[BurnItDwn]

when you feed your ideas to your director, vp, or cio in a way that they like it so much that they feel like its their idea too ... really helps you to get some of the projects done that you want to get done

 

[solidsnake1298]

Manage expectations. Manage expectations. Manage expectations. Consistently under promise then over deliver. It will save your sanity and make you look like a miracle worker. That is the best lesson I've learned since graduating from college. Whenever recent grads are brought on, this is the primary lesson I impart on them so they don't have to learn it the hard way.

 

[Zeze]

Manage expectations. Manage expectations. Manage expectations. Consistently under promise then over deliver. It will save your sanity and make you look like a miracle worker. That is the best lesson I've learned since graduating from college. Whenever recent grads are brought on, this is the primary lesson I impart on them so they don't have to learn it the hard way.

Always keep people in the know.

 

[Captante]

Always keep people in the know DARK.

fixed.


(easier to ambush that way!)

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Manage expectations. Manage expectations. Manage expectations. Consistently under promise then over deliver. It will save your sanity and make you look like a miracle worker. That is the best lesson I've learned since graduating from college. Whenever recent grads are brought on, this is the primary lesson I impart on them so they don't have to learn it the hard way.

Always keep people in the know.

But even that is a fine balance though. Before you know it you will be spending more time in life taking meeting minutes - then organizing meeting minutes to send out - having status calls to get the status of the latest status - recap meetings - pre-meetings - debrief meetings - daily standup meetings - weekly summary meetings - weekly project management meetings - sending out summary emails, documenting your work ,etc... That.... you start to realize you just aren't getting that much done in life lol.

I've definitely had times in my life of projects that it really does get pretty bad.


This meme kind of sums it up:

 

[Zeze]

But even that is a fine balance though. Before you know it you will be spending more time in life taking meeting minutes - then organizing meeting minutes to send out - having status calls to get the status of the latest status - recap meetings - pre-meetings - debrief meetings - daily standup meetings - weekly summary meetings - weekly project management meetings - sending out summary emails, documenting your work ,etc... That.... you start to realize you just aren't getting that much done in life lol.

I've definitely had times in my life of projects that it really does get pretty bad.


This meme kind of sums it up:

No. I actually went the opposite way:

In my 20s: Act super professional, reliable, and get praises
In my late 30s: Act formal where required, otherwise, talk frankly to your sponsors, stakeholders, etc. They love it even more.