You invite a family for dinner & are informed that their children...

[ryzmah]

Suggest to them some alternatives maybe, but the burden to cater to them shouldn't fall on you.

As a parent, I couldn't imagine doing that in response to a dinner invitation. I might ask what you were making to see if they would eat it, and if it wasn't something I thought they would eat I would come up with another solution myself. I wouldn't force the kids to eat food they didn't like - you have to do it sometimes but it kind of ruins the "enjoying dinner with friends".

I might feed them beforehand, or get a babysitter or something. Otherwise - I would just bring food for them myself (PB&J or something). When I'm going to visit a friend, I'm a guest in their home - not a customer in their restaurant.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: db
This is in my home.
In one case they said I should get McDonalds, and in the other case I was given a long list of shoulds and shouldn'ts....

Then the parents with the picky eaters need to be polite and bring foods that their kids will eat.

 

[Wuffsunie]

Okay, I for one want to hear specifics of this case!

What were you going to prepare (full menu) and what did they say was indigestible to their rugrats (full list)?

 

[Geekbabe]

In this case the people lacking manners are the parents.At adult gatherings where there are going to be several children present it isn't uncommon for the host(ess) to also offer a simple,alternate menu for the kids(hot dogs or some such) but for the parents to produce a long list of the kids likes and dislikes is really rude.

You have a couple choices here,you can decide to serve a simple alternate choice for the kids or you can tactfully let the parents know that the dinner party will be for adults only,in which case they can get a babysitter.

I raised 3 kids,2 of whom were weird about food and I'd never have dreamed of responding in that manner to a dinner invitation.I'd have gotten a sitter or if the friend was a close one,just brought along something else for my kid to eat and not made a big deal out of it.

 

[homestarmy]

1. Cancel

or

2. Tell them you didn't invite their spoiled kids, refer them to a day care.

 

[homestarmy]

BTW, you should pick up happy meals about a week before they come over. That'll teach the spoiled brats...

 

[homestarmy]

Originally posted by: Wuffsunie
Okay, I for one want to hear specifics of this case!

What were you going to prepare (full menu) and what did they say was indigestible to their rugrats (full list)?

agreed

 

[steph30]

I have two daughters and this is my rule of thumb with them. When we go to someone else's house for dinner, you have to at least try and eat what is served. No, if they don't like it I don't expect them to eat it all and ask for seconds, but I do want them to at least try it. (Even if this means that as soon as we leave, we run thru the drive-thu somewhere and pick them up something else to eat on the way home).

My feeling on this has always been that even if you don't like what's served, you can (at the very least) be polite about it. This is entirely a situation of manners.

Frankly, I think if the parents were the ones saying, "My kid won't eat this or that (especially if it was after dinner was served) fix something special just for our kids", I think they have some skiils lacking in etiquette and I don't think I'd invite them over for dinner again.

steph30

 

[TonyG]

I would agree that the parents really should work on politeness with their children. I have always been willing to atleast try what is in front of me, but then again there is not much I do not like when it comes to foods. I was the child who would eat brussel sprouts, spinach, and the other "gross vegetables," so maybe I was not the normal child. My little sister, who is 9, has always been willing to eat whatever is in front of her, and loves to cook. One of her favorite foods is spinach, she will eat it right out of the can, along with black olives.
That said, my mom is the leader of the girlscout troop that my little sister is in, you want to talk about some spoiled kids, most of them have never even tried to cook anything, and most will tell you that they eat out atleast once a day. My mother made some cookies for them one day, and many of them refused to eat the cookies because they were burned, but their definition of burned is not black, but they were calling the golden brown cookies, burned. They expect cookies to be almost uncooked, kinda like the color of pecan sandies cookies, very light.
Working in fast food, I have seen more parents breaking down to their kids, usually after the kid lays on the floor and has a temper-tantrum(sp?). If I did that when I was little, my mom would have laughed at me, or tried to start making fun of me, or walked away leaving me looking like the fool, or she would have said, here are your choices, take 'em or leave 'em. This is how I have been raised, and plan on raising any kids I may have.
My little brother, 17, still doesn't like onions, and will do his best to eat stuff without onions in it, if not he will just pick the onions out and eat it anyway.

 

[PHiuR]

dude kids should learn to eat everything that their parents give them and not be picky about it...especially if its a specific veggie or something like that...if its there eat it. unless its 1 veggie and that they can just pick out thats diff. but if they dont eat the whole meal cuz that one veggie was in volved..damn...that kid needs a spanking.

 

[cucumber]

Originally posted by: gistech1978
i was a picky kid.
if that situation arose and it did.
my parents gave me two choices
i could eat it or go hungry.

This was my experience as a kid too. If more parents were more like this now, there would be far less morbidly obese 6 and 7 year olds around.

 

[mitchafi]

The parents should take care of things themselves if their kids don't like what is being served. Perhaps bring over a box of instant mac and cheese or something.

 

[cucumber]

Originally posted by: waggy
Man my sisters kids are like that.

I hate haveing them over for family get togethers. whenever they come over my sister calles with a list on what they will and will not eat. Which i always ignore.

She say she will not eat cooked hotdogs or other bullcrap stuff like that. But when they stay the night they eat what i put in front of them. They never complain and always eat a lot.


My daughter eats EVERYTHING. I have yet to find anything she will not eat. her favorite snack is green olives or cheese. she also enjoye munching on green bell peppers. strange kid.

I think it has more to do whith what the parents eat and what they offer the child. I eat pretty much anything in front of me and so does my wife.

You do have a strange kid. Wow, green pepper munching?!?! As a kid, I think that was my most hated food. I do love them now though....sautéed with tons of garlic+onions....mmmmmm.....


But yeah, parenting also has a lot to do with it. As a kid I would bitch at my parents if they served me food I didn't like, but I would never dare consider being a brat in someone else's home. They serve what they serve and I would eat it. I could be an ass to my parents (which of course I got punished for) , but I learned really early in life that as a guest you do not be a prick to your hosts.

 

[yukichigai]

As long as they don't require anything extraordinary, like Maine Lobster or some crap, not a problem. My little brother still preffers plain, sauceless spaghetti. If the kids will eat that or Mac n' Cheese or something I'll cook it.

 

[Chaotic42]

I used to be a really picky eater. I just sucked it up.

There are a couple of things that I can't eat (acorn squash for example). I would just tell them I'm allergic to it, which I guess I kind of am.

Everyone here says "Guess you don't have kids". You're the parent. Take charge. The dinner you get is all of the dinner you get. If you don't want mashed potatoes or beans or whatever, maybe you'll get lucky at breakfast in twelve hours.

 

[Allio]

Man, I'll eat anything except sardines. I'll never understand fussy eaters. It's FOOD. It's DELICIOUS. EAT IT.

 

[yhelothar]

I'm a very picky eater at home when I was a kid, but when I went out, I never complained and just choked it down.
They're giving it to you for free, you have no right to complain.

 

[allisolm]

From Bryophyte: although my parents did not force me to eat anything I didn't like, I was expected to show gracious manners away from home and to just eat the things I liked and to not take things I didn't like without any fuss or complaints at all.

From steph30: When we go to someone else's house for dinner, you have to at least try and eat what is served. My feeling on this has always been that even if you don't like what's served, you can (at the very least) be polite about it. This is entirely a situation of manners.

When my children were growing up we lived in Europe for several years, so we often were at dinner with unfamiliar foods. They learned early to take the things they liked or, if they weren't sure , to take a little, try it, and then get more or manage to make it look like they were eating it and never, ever complain during a meal about not liking something. It prepares them for dinner at a friend's house or a sleepover involving dinner or dinner at a relative's house, etc where they might not have their parents along to present a list of their likes and dislikes. Good manners don't arrive full-blown when you reach a certain age, they develop over time and they won't develop at all if parents want everyone else to cater to THEIR children rather than having THEIR children learn to get along with the rest of the world.

 

[jjones]

The wife and I will be somewhat accommodating, generally we'll decide on a menu after a brief consultation with the guests. This usually happens between the women involved and usually goes along the lines of, "How's pasta sound", or "We're thinking about preparing salmon". And if the kids show up and don't like what they are presented with, we'll try to find something else in the fridge that they like. But if someone were to say that perhaps a happy meal would be better for the kids, then I'd just say why don't they pick up what they need from McDonald's on their way over.

 

[Goosemaster]

I've just seen a great deal of bad advice, some rants, a few pieholes, and intermittant good advice.

In the end, it boils down to the fact that you are presenting yourself. If you cater to such an extent that the meal you are cooking is no longer what you intended it to be, what's the point?

If I were to invite people over for dinner, unless I remembered to mention what I would be cooking, I would try to cook something tasty without their input.

OH MY?! WHAT IF THEIR KIDS WERE PICKING LITTLE RUNTS?
Well, if they started complaining, I'd see if I had something around that would take less than 5 minutes to put together that they would enjoy. Seriously though, what would be the point? I have invited these friends/colleagues over to enjoy a nice evening over Dinner, and if I am forced to be in the kitchen away from them, "WE" aren't "enjoying" anything now, aren't we.

If they were really getting on my nerves, I would do one of two things.

First, I might just tell them that the dinner isn;t working out, but that I invited them as friends and that the meal isn't that important, so at least we could continue talking. This in fact voids any future complaints, and what the hell, they might even end up snacking off the food.

Second, if they start demanding way too much on the phone before the dinner, I will first take the sarcastic route questioning the number of grievances when they have yet to try my cooking. If they continue shrugging off my sarcasm as anything other than a masked grienvance, I will then, still with some sarcasm, ask them why they still want to come over if they will not be eating my food?

In the end, unless you are very close friends, there is honestly no valid reason to bend over backwards for someone unless you have ulterior motives.


If they were to get testy on me during the meal, however, I am not sure as to what I would do. I am usually composed and willing to work things out, but as all, I do have limits.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: jjones
The wife and I will be somewhat accommodating, generally we'll decide on a menu after a brief consultation with the guests. This usually happens between the women involved and usually goes along the lines of, "How's pasta sound", or "We're thinking about preparing salmon". And if the kids show up and don't like what they are presented with, we'll try to find something else in the fridge that they like. But if someone were to say that perhaps a happy meal would be better for the kids, then I'd just say why don't they pick up what they need from McDonald's on their way over.

yep.

A good host doesn't have to be a pawn to remain a good host.

 

[Goosemaster]

I am not speaking from experience. My culture is that of the "eat it or go hungry" tribe
As a kid they will go as far as to wack you with own hand or a nearby blunt instrument if you complain, and the opinions of the children usualy aren't held to such a high regard that it causes problems between adults.

 

[dfi]

My response would've been: "Well, I guess they won't be eating much."

And then I'd probably take the little runts to McDonald's.

dfi

 

[civad]

Are you one of those overly permissive asian parents that the guys on here are always complaining about because they let their kids act like animals all the time and don't expect them to have any manners?

Hehehe..
I'm from India, and almost *every* Indian parent I know in the US fits the description.

 

[KarenMarie]

When VeggieFrog was little, she had one friend that was like that. Didn't like ANYTHING. Total PITA. What I did was...

well, I like to make elaborate dinners, especially when I have people over...

So, I prepared my meal for everyone else, and made a grilled cheese sandwhich for her. Her parents, at first, thought I was gonna change the entire menu to please the tastes of their daughter, but by main course time, they realized that was not gonna happen.

whenever she came over,s he got the same thing... a grilled cheese sandwhich!