Well I went away to college at 17, but that's different.
If you continue to live under your parents' roof, you obey their rules. Simple enough. If your parents are the kind who let you do pretty much anything once you turn 18, that's all very well and good. But you have no right to complain if they aren't. You do, however, have the right to go get your own apartment if it irks you that much.
Heh, so you do whatever somebody tells you to do if they give you something? What an absurd statement.
Have you never heard of a contract before?
1)You live under my roof, rent free, I provide food, shelter, protection, insurance, car(?), advice, clothes, whoknowswhatelse
2)In return, you follow my rules.
Don't like the contract? Don't agree. Move out. Is this REALLY so hard to understand?
So if you stay at home after you turn 18 to save money your parents have total say over your life? They can tell you who you can date?? Can they tell you what jobs you can and can't do. Can they tell you who you can be friends with? You're an idiot mate.
Sure, it's their house, so they can say, don't bring that person home, or you can't drink in my house, or smoke dope or whatever. That's fine, you should respect their house. But if you're 18 they shouldn't be telling you what you do with your life, even if you still live with them. If they did then they're been unresonably.
the issue was that she was out later than usual and didn't let anyone know where she was. mom was worried. would it have really been that difficult for the girl to take a minute to call and say "i'm going to be home a little late because i'm out doing the baloney bop with a couple of studmuffins that i met on myspace" so her mom didn't have a stroke?
There's no such contract. Unless you actually signed a contract with your parents? In which case... HAHA!
I see what you mean. The way I saw it she was having a go about her meeting a guy off the internet. That wouldn't be right. You can't tell an 18 who they can date.
If she was just having a go about getting in late and not phoning that's different.
Listen, living at home under mommy and daddy's roof negates any idea that you can come and go and do as you please without the responsibly of letting someone know where you are.
See, in ADULT relationships there is communication.....people let each other know where they are going and what they are doing.
Children...and yes I am also referring to 18 year olds living at home....feel that since they are of age, they can have the freedom to go do what they want....when they want and with whom they want....well there is a price to be paid for everything and if you wan that kind of freedom get off your dead ass, get a job and get your own place.....then you can do any of that you want. But as long as you are living with mommy and daddy, you live by their rules......don't like it....get the hell out....mom and dad don't owe you jack once you are 18....anything they do for you is a courtesy....be grateful and follow a few simple rules.
Yeah apparently you're missing the main problem. It isn't just that she went out, it is that she LIED about where she was going.
Also... wtf r u talking about weezer. Like Brad said, this isn't nazi germany. I can tell just from this video, the way she lets her kids act, she is NOT the type of mother at all to turn her back on her kids for whatever the reason. I seriously doubt there is any kicking out being done at that household. The daughter should have just let her mom know where she was going, I'm sure she would have been able to work something out. I can tell it isn't the fact that she was with a unknown guy from myspace, it was because she completely lied to her mom about where she was going (and being late of course). Lying to your parents in situations like this is NEVER the answer. I mean, I'm only 19 (turning 20 in 2 weeks), and I've had my share of troubles.. but as long as I was honest with my parents about everything, they respected me and I never got into too much trouble.
This girl needs to be taught respect and honesty, thats the bottom line. Her parents shouldn't be able to say who she sees, but she damn sure better let them know where she is going.
So if you ever had an 18-year old daughter, you would not be concerned at all if she went out to meet some stranger she met on MySpace, lied about where she was going, came home late, and you couldn't get a hold of her all night long?
At what age while your daughter is living in your home do you stop caring for her and let her do whatever she wants to do, simply because your concern for her is trumped by her right to do whatever she wants?
Which is why you have the right to MOVE OUT IF YOUR PARENTS ARE UNREASONABLE!!:roll: It's really not that hard to understand! Of course I don't think that parents SHOULD try to control your life when you're 18, but that's not the point. If you think as poorly about their rules as the daughter in the video did, then the obvious solution is to move out so that the rules no longer apply to you. You can't complain about unreasonable rules if you agreed to them.
Quick question: If you were apartment hunting, and you found one apartment that was hundreds of dollars cheaper than the others, but which had a curfew, would you just move in, break the curfew all the time since "they can't tell you what to do", and then cry about it when you got caught and they tried to kick you out?
Hmm, did you sign a contract with the state not to jaywalk, obey traffic laws, pay taxes etc?
No?
There is such a thing as tacit agreement.
dennilfloss
Past Lifer 1957-2014 In Memoriam
Wow, this thread is out of control.
Both sides seem to have gotten intransigent so maybe we should just leave it.
Like someone said before, we're arguing over a video.
Both sides seem to have gotten intransigent so maybe we should just leave it.
Like someone said before, we're arguing over a video.
irishScott
Lifer
- Oct 10, 2006
- 21,562
- 3
- 0
If your kids deserve freedom, you give it to them. If they don't, you have partially failed as a parent and you don't give it to them.
I've had more freedom growing up than almost everyone I know. I was never grounded, never had any chores, and was otherwise spoiled rotten in many ways. My parents conceded to my requests for more freedom multiple times, despite the fact that we were constantly fighting. It seldom bit them in the ass, and when it did it bit me way more than them (mostly had to do with grades). I have never gotten drunk, never done drugs, never smoked anything, and made decent grades in High School, have only had one minor ticket (misjudged the timing on a yellow light) and got into a good University.
If you don't treat your kid like an adult (as much as reasonable), they'll never learn how to act like one. If you don't treat them fairly, you are telling them that treating others unfairly is acceptable. If you lie to cover up for them, you are telling them that lying is acceptable. I know from first hand experience as a kid growing up in said environment.
Also, despite the intensity of the fighting, my parents never gave me the "you don't like it, hit the road" ultimatum. If you actually listen to your kid, you might realize that they have a few good points. Unless you raised a dumbass.
Making gross generalizations (ie: a 16 year old shouldn't be allowed to do X) is stupid. Every case is individual.
I've had more freedom growing up than almost everyone I know. I was never grounded, never had any chores, and was otherwise spoiled rotten in many ways. My parents conceded to my requests for more freedom multiple times, despite the fact that we were constantly fighting. It seldom bit them in the ass, and when it did it bit me way more than them (mostly had to do with grades). I have never gotten drunk, never done drugs, never smoked anything, and made decent grades in High School, have only had one minor ticket (misjudged the timing on a yellow light) and got into a good University.
If you don't treat your kid like an adult (as much as reasonable), they'll never learn how to act like one. If you don't treat them fairly, you are telling them that treating others unfairly is acceptable. If you lie to cover up for them, you are telling them that lying is acceptable. I know from first hand experience as a kid growing up in said environment.
Also, despite the intensity of the fighting, my parents never gave me the "you don't like it, hit the road" ultimatum. If you actually listen to your kid, you might realize that they have a few good points. Unless you raised a dumbass.
Making gross generalizations (ie: a 16 year old shouldn't be allowed to do X) is stupid. Every case is individual.
IAteYourMother
Lifer
- Nov 3, 2004
- 10,491
- 22
- 81
irishScott
Lifer
- Oct 10, 2006
- 21,562
- 3
- 0
And what does this tacit agreement that you seem to have made with your parents have to do with the rest of us?
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