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You can tell a project is going to be great when...

NuclearNed

NuclearNed

Raconteur
day 1:
I'm going to hire consultants to configure enterprise software that my company already owns. The consultants asked to have a "discovery" meeting so they can come up with a realistic quote. As a result, I set up a meeting with all the stakeholders, all of whom will be vital to this project being successful.

day 2 (today):
I got a phone call first thing this morning from one of the stakeholders. The first thing she said was that she was speaking on behalf of herself and another stakeholder who happens to be her manager. Basically, they have a long history of friction with stakeholder 3 and want me to un-invite her.

Call me a misogynist if you want, but I note with interest that all 3 stakeholders have the same gender.

Let's see... I can't remember... is this the business world, or middle school??!??
 
i often find that employing the same techniques i find useful with dealing with my children is just as effective, if not more, when dealing with people at work.

EDIT: good luck with your project. it already sounds like you'll need it. 🙁
 
You can tell a project is going to be great when...

When the president's personal consultant hires a group of IT consultants who come to your office first to try to find out if anyone knows what the president wants...


Uno
 
It's your job as team leader to resolve the issue before the project begins. If you have a wife, there shouldn't be an issue for you to figure out wtf is wrong with the 3 female stakeholders.
 
Baked said:
It's your job as team leader to resolve the issue before the project begins. If you have a wife, there shouldn't be an issue for you to figure out wtf is wrong with the 3 female stakeholders.
Click to expand...

you're implying that being married means you understand women.
 
hmm

see its things like that where i get in trouble. my response would be along the lines of "Sorry to hear you have issues with XXX. But that is not my problem and sounds like something you guys need to work out. My problem is this Project and in it I need input form shareholders. Thank you for your time and will see you at the meeting"
 
You should just ask her if there's some sexual tension between the three of them, and then proceed to offer your services.

After this, you'll either get a wicked four-some, or the situation won't be a problem because you won't have a job.

Win/Win!
 
dougp said:
You should just ask her if there's some sexual tension between the three of them, and then proceed to offer your services.

After this, you'll either get a wicked four-some, or the situation won't be a problem because you won't have a job.

Win/Win!
Click to expand...

In this particular situation, it would be impossible for me to drink enough beer to make your idea appealing. Thanks for trying, though.
 
waggy said:
hmm

see its things like that where i get in trouble. my response would be along the lines of "Sorry to hear you have issues with XXX. But that is not my problem and sounds like something you guys need to work out. My problem is this Project and in it I need input form shareholders. Thank you for your time and will see you at the meeting"
Click to expand...
That's pretty much the perfect response IMO. Well, that, or "stop being such a fucking idiot and drop the kiddie shit. See ya at the meeting!"
 
Baked said:
It's your job as team leader to resolve the issue before the project begins. If you have a wife, there shouldn't be an issue for you to figure out wtf is wrong with the 3 female stakeholders.
Click to expand...

How is going to say he's sorry, accept the blame, and say he'll never do it again to three different women?
 
I would respond with: That's funny, she already backed out of the meeting because, and I quote, "I'm not working with those skanky trash monsters again, I'd rather run my arm through the paper shredder. Good luck and bring nose plugs, unless you like fish."
 
NuclearNed said:
day 1:
I'm going to hire consultants to configure enterprise software that my company already owns. The consultants asked to have a "discovery" meeting so they can come up with a realistic quote. As a result, I set up a meeting with all the stakeholders, all of whom will be vital to this project being successful.

day 2 (today):
I got a phone call first thing this morning from one of the stakeholders. The first thing she said was that she was speaking on behalf of herself and another stakeholder who happens to be her manager. Basically, they have a long history of friction with stakeholder 3 and want me to un-invite her.

Call me a misogynist if you want, but I note with interest that all 3 stakeholders have the same gender.

Let's see... I can't remember... is this the business world, or middle school??!??
Click to expand...


You are dealing with a collection of women in the workplace. Of course this is middle school.
 
First of all, dump the concept of stakeholders. The designation places all the minor players on the same level as paying clients and project principals. Eveyone's input is not equal. Filter out those who have no responsibility in the matter first. Then trim the list to those whose input would be most useful. That should clean out about three quarters of the "stakeholders" and allow the remaining folks to get something done. If a stakeholder indicates that personality conflicts are more important than the success of your project then by all means cut them off the project.
 
IronWing said:
First of all, dump the concept of stakeholders. The designation places all the minor players on the same level as paying clients and project principals. Eveyone's input is not equal. Filter out those who have no responsibility in the matter first. Then trim the list to those whose input would be most useful. That should clean out about three quarters of the "stakeholders" and allow the remaining folks to get something done. If a stakeholder indicates that personality conflicts are more important than the success of your project then by all means cut them off the project.
Click to expand...

You're right that not all stakeholders are equal, but the OP did say the people involved were vital to the success of the project.

If it was me, I think I would have just said "Thanks for your input" and ignored the phone call.
 
kranky said:
You're right that not all stakeholders are equal, but the OP did say the people involved were vital to the success of the project.

If it was me, I think I would have just said "Thanks for your input" and ignored the phone call.
Click to expand...

That's more or less what I did.
 
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