Yet another shortylickens rant,

[shortylickens]

(Did a search, came up empty. Figured this may actually be a new discussion.)

I just got done with a little National Lampoon Marathon, thanks to the folks at Blockbuster and their Movie Pass program.
Saw pretty much every one of the new National Lampoon movies and (in the words of Eric Cartman) "this totally sucks donkey balls".

Dorm Daze 1 was actually kind of funny, and every single other movie was goddamn sickening. From Lost Reality to Down and Dirty to New Faces to Pledge This to Pucked and a bunch of other faceless movies, they all reeked of pointlessness and useless hot chicks.

I seem to recall a time and place not long ago where the National Lampoon gang put out stupid, FUNNY movies. Now they just throw a handful of cuties together in some weak script churned out by functionally illiterate monkey-children and call it entertainment.

What the hell happened over there? Did they get bought out by a couple of teenage boys?
Please dont get me wrong, I love silly hot sluts getting freaky as much as the next guy, but at least Animal House had a plot and something resembling humor.

Yes, I know my previous rant on Mean Women In Malls was much better and this one is weak, but after a whole weekend of irritating movies and one decent flick (which I was lucky enough to watch first), my brain feels a little numb.

/Rant

 

[leftyman]

They just count on people like you to watch them.

 

[Aikouka]

Have you seen National Lampoon's Black Ball? I thought that one was decent compared to most that've been out lately. Pledge This! is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Pucked wasn't too bad, but Bon Jovi is just too stoic of an actor... he gives no emotion with that soft monotone voice. Having that really butch lady kinda went against the whole all pretty girls thing that you saw in Pledge This! (excluding Paris Hilton.. she's nasty).

EDIT: Pucked also brought up an interesting point about credit cards. Have you seen Dorm Daze 2 as well? I never watched the original, but the second one wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen; however, it was most certainly a brainless movie.

 

[Steve]

Wow, I haven't even heard of most of those movies. How many of them were direct-to-video?

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: sm8000
Wow, I haven't even heard of most of those movies. How many of them were direct-to-video?

I believe every single one.

 

[shortylickens]

ALL of them were direct-to-video, or, if they werent, I darn sure didnt see any of them in the theaters.

Dorm Daze 2 wasnt god-aweful, but they tried (poorly) to capture the feel of the first one and failed miserably. It just wasnt funny.

Pucked was a bad movie all around. Jon Bon Jovi is a decent actor but the script was horrible. You only actually see the girls play part of one game. Its a short flick (thank dear, sweet Jesus) and the first half-hour just shows him being a big loser. The second half-hour just shows him amassing credit cards and finally getting a small league together. They spent a short time actually showing part of a game (along with the required shower scene, which was also lame) and the last half hour is him in court.
It could have been so much more. It could have been a Mighty Ducks with females, but they never delve too deep into any of the girls lives. Heck, you only learn two of their names: the french girl (who is totally forgettable) and the big-bertha gal, who gets more than her share of screen time in pointless scenes.

Pledge This was obviously Paris Hiltons little personal pet project. She made the movie as a way to try and get a decent public image again (which was the same purpose behind the TV show), but it really didnt work.

In only remember those two because I saw them last, everything else was a blur of stupidity. I got The Last King Of Scotland yesterday, hopefully it will restore my faith in the movie business.

 

[Aikouka]

Well, I usually rank movies on how they make me feel. Do I feel warm and fuzzy, stupid, good, neutral, sick? Pucked made me feel neutral... it was an alright waste of time, but it wasn't anything great. I felt sick and stupid watching Pledge This!... well, mostly stupid.

I still think you should give Blackball ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0337879/ ) a try. It still got a rather mediocre rating (5.3), but out of all the Direct-To-Video releases, I think it's the best one.