Yet another girl thread: What do you guys think? **updated Pic** link is working now

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S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Thanks for jumping in.

Here goes. It was the summer of 1998 when I first saw this girl. She was beautiful in every way I could imagine and as an added bonus she was a lead singer in a local band. We've been talking and going out on dates off and on for a few months. We did the all nighters jsut chatting away about life. Even if she had nothing to say to me she'd call me late at night and stay on the line to listen to me sleeping. Unfortunately at the time I was already with someone, so our relationship never really went anywhere.

We lost contact for about 6 months and during that time she had gotten with some guy and they got married. I had broken up with my GF by that time. All hope was lost! I was depressed for months. I lost about 20lbs. My parents thought I was doing drugs. In my heart I always thought that as we both matured; we would finally come together when we were adults, but that dream quickly faded away with all my dreams. As always life goes on. I moved out of town shortly thereafter.

Just a few weeks ago I heard from my brother that she had gotten a divorce from her husband. I couldn't believe my ears.

Today I saw her again at my younger brothers graduation. She is still as beautiful as ever. We just looked at each other for about 10 seconds and all I could feel was happiness. All those feelings I had came rushing back and I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything that was going through my mind. I just wanted to tell her that I'd never want for us to be apart ever again.

The dilemma here is that I don't know how/when I should approach her with my feelings for her. I'm afraid that she would not be ready, but I also am afraid that because of our culture, her parents may force her to get married to somebody as soon as they can. This is because they want to save "face" for the family. This happens a lot in my culture. Its dumb yes, but its something that won't go away until that generation is gone.

I just don't want to lose her a second time.

OR am I just too obsessed over this girl?

EDIT: PIC - now working
 
Anubis

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,712
427
126
tbqhwy.com
first you need to add YAGT to the title

and you sound obsessed but thats not bad. dont confess your love for her yet just hane with her and whatnot and it it goes someplace then let it all out
 
S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Originally posted by: eakers
if you feel that strongly then go for it.
Click to expand...


I would, but I feel like theres a big chance of her saying she isn't ready and them she'll feel awkward(sp?) everytime we we see each other.

Argh! I've been up all night thinking about what to do. I've haven't slept all night.
 
Z

Zombie

Platinum Member
Dec 8, 1999
2,359
1
71
She just got divorced so who knows if she is ready for another relationship. Like somebody else said go out with her or hangout(whatever works) but don't spill your guts just yet.
 
S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Originally posted by: Zombie
She just got divorced so who knows if she is ready for another relationship. Like somebody else said go out with her or hangout(whatever works) but don't spill your guts just yet.
Click to expand...


Its just so easy to say, "I'll just hang out with her and not try to show my feelings." But you know when I'm with her, every breath I want to say those three little words.
 
GasX

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
telling a recently divorced woman that you have been harboring feelings for her for years is a sure way to get you nowhere...
 
S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Originally posted by: Mwilding
telling a recently divorced woman that you have been harboring feelings for her for years is a sure way to get you nowhere...
Click to expand...

Words taken to heart. Thanks.
 
SagaLore

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: sadb0i
Thanks for jumping in.

Here goes. It was the summer of 1998 when I first saw this girl. She was beautiful in every way I could imagine and as an added bonus she was a lead singer in a local band. We talked a few times on the phone. It was great. Unfortunately at the time I was already with someone, so our relationship never really went anywhere.

We lost contact for about 6 months and during that time she had gotten with some guy and they got married. I had broken up with my GF by that time. All hope was lost! I was depressed for months. I lost about 20lbs. My parents thought I was doing drugs. In my heart I always thought that as we both matured; we would finally come together when we were adults, but that dream quickly faded away with all my dreams. As always life goes on. I moved out of town shortly thereafter.

Just a few weeks ago I heard from my brother that she had gotten a divorce from her husband. I couldn't believe my ears.

Today I saw her again at my younger brothers graduation. She is still as beautiful as ever. We just looked at each other for about 10 seconds and all I could feel was happiness. All those feelings I had came rushing back and I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything that was going through my mind. I just wanted to tell her that I'd never want for us to be apart ever again.

The dilemma here is that I don't know how/when I should approach her with my feelings for her. I'm afraid that she would not be ready, but I also am afraid that because of our culture, her parents may force her to get married to somebody as soon as they can. This is because they want to save "face" for the family. This happens a lot in my culture. Its dumb yes, but its something that won't go away until that generation is gone.

I just don't want to lose her a second time.

OR am I just too obsessed over this girl?

I've got a pic if someone wants to host.

email me @ sad_b0i@hotmail.com (the 0 in b0i is a zero) if you want to host.
Click to expand...

I bolded the main points. Enough said.
 
M

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,734
6,759
126
Why are you afraid? No no no.









NO!








The reason you are afraid is because you feel you don't deserve to be loved. She is a pearl and you are nothing. She is the unapproachable Goddess and you an unworthy dog.

You are afraid to be that dog, to truly face how worthless you feel. But you feel it and you wnat yourself to feel it because you believe it's true. So what do you do?

You know what you deserve. Nothing. And that is exactly what you will get. Your fear will make exactly what you fear come true. Then you can suffer and cry and feel your misery. The pearl will slip away and you will have what you deserve, a living torture just like you feel you deserve.

You are afraid to feel. You have been taught that you are not alowed to feel. If you cannot feel you cannot love. What use is a lover who cannot love.

To live you must die. You must die to this fear. You need to feel, to allow yourself to feel, to feel how worthless you feel, to feel it so you can know that it is a lie. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing at all except the lie that you are worthless. Stop living in your head that tells you what you were told. Live in your heart where there is joy. The love you are dying for isn't the love she can give you, but the love you can give her. Open up your heart and live.

This girl that girl, it does not matter at all.

Oh my beloved, wherever I look it appears to be thou.

The love within you turns the stars in the sky. Your doubt is only a lie.

Good luck and be happy.



Why are you afraid?


 
S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Why are you afraid? No no no.









NO!








The reason you are afraid is because you feel you don't deserve to be loved. She is a pearl and you are nothing. She is the unapproachable Goddess and you an unworthy dog.

You are afraid to be that dog, to truly face how worthless you feel. But you feel it and you wnat yourself to feel it because you believe it's true. So what do you do?

You know what you deserve. Nothing. And that is exactly what you will get. Your fear will make exactly what you fear come true. Then you can suffer and cry and feel your misery. The pearl will slip away and you will have what you deserve, a living torture just like you feel you deserve.

You are afraid to feel. You have been taught that you are not alowed to feel. If you cannot feel you cannot love. What use is a lover who cannot love.

To live you must die. You must die to this fear. You need to feel, to allow yourself to feel, to feel how worthless you feel, to feel it so you can know that it is a lie. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing at all except the lie that you are worthless. Stop living in your head that tells you what you were told. Live in your heart where there is joy. The love you are dying for isn't the love she can give you, but the love you can give her. Open up your heart and live.

This girl that girl, it does not matter at all.

Oh my beloved, wherever I look it appears to be thou.

The love within you turns the stars in the sky. Your doubt is only a lie.

Good luck and be happy.



Why are you afraid?
Click to expand...



WOW...


I don't know what I'm afreaid of.
 
G

gordy

Senior member
Jan 26, 2003
306
0
0
dont listen to anyone who says "follow your heart"
that'll get you quicker to barefoot, 4 kids, 2 not yours, a single-wide and a '79 Datsun station wagon with different color doors...

give her time to regather from the divorce 9 months to a year..

most of all: play hard to get, drives women nuts (for example: waiting in line at the drive through teller and there was a hottie behind me, i could tell she thought she was Venus incarnate, i could see here trying to eye me in my rearview, just at that moment i cranked the mirror over, she then shot me the bird [i could still catch a glimpse in the side mirror] call me a sadist but i love doing that... )
 
S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Originally posted by: gordy
dont listen to anyone who says "follow your heart"
that'll get you quicker to barefoot, 4 kids, 2 not yours, a single-wide and a '79 Datsun station wagon with different color doors...

give her time to regather from the divorce 9 months to a year..

most of all: play hard to get, drives women nuts (for example: waiting in line at the drive through teller and there was a hottie behind me, i could tell she thought she was Venus incarnate, i could see here trying to eye me in my rearview, just at that moment i cranked the mirror over, she then shot me the bird [i could still catch a glimpse in the side mirror] call me a sadist but i love doing that... )
Click to expand...



HAHA I needed that. Thanks man.
 
Nitemare

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,461
4
81
Just reget to know her and see if you two still have things in common. People change over the years and she might not be the same person that you remember. Take it slow and if it happens it happens.

You can put pics on the bbzzd pichosting site.
 
M

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,734
6,759
126
most of all: play hard to get, drives women nuts (for example: waiting in line at the drive through teller and there was a hottie behind me, i could tell she thought she was Venus incarnate, i could see here trying to eye me in my rearview, just at that moment i cranked the mirror over, she then shot me the bird [i could still catch a glimpse in the side mirror] call me a sadist but i love doing that... )
--------------------------------------------------
If catching a glimpse in the side mirror is your idea of living listen to this guy.

In the sea there are riches beyond compare, but if you seek safety it is on the shore.

Gordo up there is just another man of fear who lives inside a rear view mirror.
 
S

sadb0i

Golden Member
Mar 2, 2001
1,169
1
0
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
most of all: play hard to get, drives women nuts (for example: waiting in line at the drive through teller and there was a hottie behind me, i could tell she thought she was Venus incarnate, i could see here trying to eye me in my rearview, just at that moment i cranked the mirror over, she then shot me the bird [i could still catch a glimpse in the side mirror] call me a sadist but i love doing that... )
--------------------------------------------------
If catching a glimpse in the side mirror is your idea of living listen to this guy.

In the sea there are riches beyond compare, but if you seek safety it is on the shore.

Gordo up there is just another man of fear who lives inside a rear view mirror.
Click to expand...


:)

 
Toasthead

Toasthead

Diamond Member
Aug 27, 2001
6,621
0
0
dude. I would not share those feelings with her. Ever. Let them build up in you until they boil over in a fast food restuarant shooting rage. We will use this thread in your defense.

Seriously though... she probably needs some time to recover from her failed marriage. If you know anyone who knows her, I would try to find out why she got divorced? That might give ou a little insiight into her last few months (years). But dont wait forever to make your move.
 
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