YAMT (POLL): Getting married young

[WhiteKnight]

The poll should say something like, "What is an appropriate minimum age to get married?"

Why is it so hard to believe that some people are ready to be married earlier than others? I've seen several people commenting on this board that, "You shouldn't even think about marriage until you are at least (whatever age)!"

I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend of (currently) 2 1/2 years soon; this spring or early summer. We have been friends for about 3 1/2 years. I want to marry her because I am sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She has been able to accept me for who I am, faults and all, and has always been there for me when I needed her. She will make an incredible mother some day, and I can think of no one else in the world with whom I would rather have a family. I have dated other people and have even been happy with them, but none of those relationships could hold a candle to the one I have now. We basically lived together for a while in college, though we technically had separate apartments, so I know what living with her is like.

I don't expect marriage to bring any magical element into our relationship that is lacking now. What I do expect is that our relationship will grow stronger and deeper, not specifically better simply due to getting married. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think there's any flaw in our relationship now that will be made better by marriage. I don't look at marriage as a miracle band-aid.

I know a lot of people say that you should live our your wild life when you are young and then settle down, but frankly that's just not for me. I enjoy a good time (who doesn't), but I don't feel like I need to be crazy before settling down.

Now, before I tell you our ages (although I think it's pretty obvious), you tell me what is so damn bad about getting married young, provided you are doing it for the right reasons.

 

[minendo]

What is an appropriate age to get married?

Varies by couple.

 

[dquan97]

Instead of age, I'd look at maturity and financial standing to find out if you're ready or not? Is she out of college? You two working?

 

[spidey07]

definately 25-27

Most people have NO idea who they actually are until then.

 

[WhiteKnight]

Originally posted by: dquan97
Instead of age, I'd look at maturity and financial standing to find out if you're ready or not? Is she out of college? You two working?

I'm not looking so much for opinions about my own situation, though I have used it as an example. Rather, I'm intending to get people's opinions of the issue in general.

 

[Kenazo]

i was 22. seems to be working peachy keen.

 

[dpm]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
i was 22. seems to be working peachy keen.

The value of your advice would be increased by mentioning how old you are now....

 

[bleeb]

I think many people are still too immature and don't know themselves well enough around 30. In my humble opinion.

 

[bradruth]

I won't get married until I'm done with college and have my career started. I think it's important to get myself on the right path before I bring someone else down the path with me. I answered 22-24.

 

[Hammer]

i'd say ideally it would be after college and working for about 2 years. you have a lot of stability then.

 

25-26...however, it seems like most people seem to be answering in the 22-28 range, which is after school. This I agree with.

 

[WhiteKnight]

Originally posted by: dquan97
Instead of age, I'd look at maturity and financial standing to find out if you're ready or not? Is she out of college? You two working?

We both graduated in May 2003. She will finish her masters in teaching this May, and will begin working in the fall. I'm currently doing a masters in mechanical engineering. I have not decided yet if I will stay for a PhD or if I will work when I complete the masters (either next winter or May 2005). We will probably get married next summer (2005).

 

[Ranger X]

Between 25-28. Get all the fun out of your single life before getting married. Once you're married, you're stuck with one person and there are financial risks involved if you decide the marriage can't work.

 

[StageLeft]

Mid 20's. I'd not recommend much earlier.

 

[rgwalt]

I would say post college, 22-24, but I know several people who have gotten married while in college and are very happy. I almost proposed when I was a sophomore to get married when I was a junior. I'm very glad I didn't. It varies from person to person. However, I still say post college if you are asking my opinion.

R

 

[WhiteKnight]

Well, the poll results actually look a bit younger than I thought they would. I agree wholeheartedly that it depends on the couple.

 

[johnjbruin]

i say not before 25. but that's my opinion.

if you feel that both of you are mature enough then go for it.

 

[bolido2000]

I think around 27. After college with a decent job.

 

[AmericasTeam]

Too many POLL choices.

Personally I think one should get married when they want. It really doesn't matter considering they have an above 50% chance of being divorced before they turn 35.

 

[Electric Amish]

All depends on the people.

My wife and I were 19.

 

[WhiteKnight]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
All depends on the people.

My wife and I were 19.

How old are you now?

 

[EmperorIQ]

i'm saying 27-28, my gf and i agreed that that'll be a good age for us to get married by, we want to complete our school and make sure that we're going to have stable careers.

 

[conjur]

Get a degree...get the career rolling....*then* and *only* then should one consider marriage.

Get some maturity under one's belt.

 

[Corporate Thug]

when you have financial security

 

[GrouchyLadybug]

my husband and i got married 4 months ago at ages 22 and 21. i was already out of college, and he was graduating college the month after the wedding. we had been dating for over three and a half years. neither of us had any desire to live wildly and single-y before getting married. neither of us can imagine life without the other one. we take marriage very seriously and are committed to each other through anything. it really depends on the couple as to when they should get married. my husband and i were always a little more mature than our peers, so it makes sense that we married younger. when you know you want to spend the rest of your life together, there is no reason to wait just because most people would think you are too young. that is so ridiculous. we don't buy into the theory of waiting til your career is in order before settling down. the sweetest years we will have together are probably happening right now...we don't have a lot of money, but money and careers are certainly not the most important things in life. by the way, my parents married when they were 19 and 20, and they are still together nearly 26 years later.