YAGT

[OsoVerde]

Originally posted by: lobbyone
Get her and yourself a 360 and Gears

Hahah- actually not a bad idea. For a relationship to last you've got to have more in common than just wanting to get lovey-dovey with each other- why people often say dating friends is a good idea (provided you didn't just "befriend" a person because you wanted to hit it). You've got to have stuff to do with each other besides be lovey-dovey, Gears, bonsai gardening, horror films, collecting Grateful Dead bootlegs, whatever you both find interesting.

 

[johnjohn320]

We had a nice long 4 hr phone conversation this evening about all of it. She was really understanding when I brought it all up, and agreed that things have been weird for awhile. Basically, we ended up trying to trace what's happened, and figured out that for the past several months, we've both been having on-again-off-again FEAR. The kind of fear that is "oh sh!t, I've been with the same person all of college. I've been in a serious relationship this whole friggin time-do I really know what I want? Do I want to be single? Do I want to date around? Do I even know what's out there?" etc. and the distance probably augmented these feelings, or made them more apparent.

Yet, we both still care about each other a lot. We talked about maybe "taking a break," but agreed that probably wouldn't make either of us happier, at least not now. So essentially, we're just gonna try and work through it, and see what happens. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but the chips are on the table, and that in and of itself makes me feel about 15 lbs lighter for some reason. To hear her say that she's been feeling the same way, experiencing the same fears and insecurities, for just as long as I have, brought about an unexpected form of relief.

I guess that's all we can do for now. yes I'm still planning on going up to see her this weekend.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: rsd
"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did." "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Engagement"

One of the best moments in the series, IMO.

 

[Toonces]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
We had a nice long 4 hr phone conversation this evening about all of it. She was really understanding when I brought it all up, and agreed that things have been weird for awhile. Basically, we ended up trying to trace what's happened, and figured out that for the past several months, we've both been having on-again-off-again FEAR. The kind of fear that is "oh sh!t, I've been with the same person all of college. I've been in a serious relationship this whole friggin time-do I really know what I want? Do I want to be single? Do I want to date around? Do I even know what's out there?" etc. and the distance probably augmented these feelings, or made them more apparent.

Yet, we both still care about each other a lot. We talked about maybe "taking a break," but agreed that probably wouldn't make either of us happier, at least not now. So essentially, we're just gonna try and work through it, and see what happens. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but the chips are on the table, and that in and of itself makes me feel about 15 lbs lighter for some reason. To hear her say that she's been feeling the same way, experiencing the same fears and insecurities, for just as long as I have, brought about an unexpected form of relief.

I guess that's all we can do for now. yes I'm still planning on going up to see her this weekend.

Wow. Very mature of her.. when I told my ex-gf I wanted to spend less (then 2hrs.) a night on the phone she flew off the *pun intended* handle. Hence, ex-girlfriend.

Less time on the phone and more weekends together will get you through this, I did long distance for 3 1/2 years... it's tough but doable.

 

[George P Burdell]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
We had a nice long 4 hr phone conversation this evening about all of it. She was really understanding when I brought it all up, and agreed that things have been weird for awhile. Basically, we ended up trying to trace what's happened, and figured out that for the past several months, we've both been having on-again-off-again FEAR. The kind of fear that is "oh sh!t, I've been with the same person all of college. I've been in a serious relationship this whole friggin time-do I really know what I want? Do I want to be single? Do I want to date around? Do I even know what's out there?" etc. and the distance probably augmented these feelings, or made them more apparent.

Yet, we both still care about each other a lot. We talked about maybe "taking a break," but agreed that probably wouldn't make either of us happier, at least not now. So essentially, we're just gonna try and work through it, and see what happens. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but the chips are on the table, and that in and of itself makes me feel about 15 lbs lighter for some reason. To hear her say that she's been feeling the same way, experiencing the same fears and insecurities, for just as long as I have, brought about an unexpected form of relief.

I guess that's all we can do for now. yes I'm still planning on going up to see her this weekend.

That's awesome, you guys seem mature enough to get through this :thumbsup:

Definitely go visit her whenever (and however often) you can. In the meantime, send her roses. Or some such.

 

[erub]

Good luck. I couldn't make a long distance relationship worked once the sparkle ran off, I started to dread talking to her, and it wasn't fun not being able to date anyone else, either. I still think she might have been the one, but she wanted to move away for her career, and who am I to stop her?

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: George P Burdell

Originally posted by: johnjohn320
We had a nice long 4 hr phone conversation this evening about all of it. She was really understanding when I brought it all up, and agreed that things have been weird for awhile. Basically, we ended up trying to trace what's happened, and figured out that for the past several months, we've both been having on-again-off-again FEAR. The kind of fear that is "oh sh!t, I've been with the same person all of college. I've been in a serious relationship this whole friggin time-do I really know what I want? Do I want to be single? Do I want to date around? Do I even know what's out there?" etc. and the distance probably augmented these feelings, or made them more apparent.

Yet, we both still care about each other a lot. We talked about maybe "taking a break," but agreed that probably wouldn't make either of us happier, at least not now. So essentially, we're just gonna try and work through it, and see what happens. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but the chips are on the table, and that in and of itself makes me feel about 15 lbs lighter for some reason. To hear her say that she's been feeling the same way, experiencing the same fears and insecurities, for just as long as I have, brought about an unexpected form of relief.

I guess that's all we can do for now. yes I'm still planning on going up to see her this weekend.

That's awesome, you guys seem mature enough to get through this :thumbsup:

Definitely go visit her whenever (and however often) you can. In the meantime, send her roses. Or some such.

Yeah, my car is inoperable at the moment but (hopefully) getting fixed in the shop as we speak. I'm gonna do my damndest to get up there this weekend.

Funnily enough, I tried to send her roses and chocolates on Valentines Day, since we couldnt see each other that day. Naturally, the fscking delivery company lost the order. :|

I still have this really bizarre feeling walking around today, after last night's conversation. Even though I guess nothing's actually different, it feels as though something is...

 

[pontifex]

she's probably afraid she's going to let it slip that she slept with half the guys in the office of her internship.

 

[paulxcook]

I had a similar experience in college. My girlfriend went to a school far enough away that seeing her every day was not reasonable. We talked on the phone every day and saw each other about once a week. But then it started getting really, really old to be talking every day. There would be long stretches of silence where neither of us really had much to say. "You still there?" "Yeah." "Ok."

However, we just talked a bit less, tried harder when we were talking, and enjoyed the time we had together when we did. About 2 years ago, we got married. So sometimes it does work out. I would say that if you don't love her or don't see yourself loving her fairly soon, it probably isn't worth it. But if you do, it's worth it.

 

[meltdown75]

you're 21. break it off and bang anything that moves!

 

[iroast]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
you're 21. break it off and bang anything that moves!

including meltdown75!

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Lets be honest here. Writing a YAGT here makes you feel better for a moment correct? But the fact is most of these people here are fairly insignificant people that aren't worth considering in opinions. Whether you include me in that is up to you. I'm just merely stating that most of these people are useless and taking an opinion from them or even expecting one from them is not the best thing to consider in this time of strife.

Boredom happens in almost all relationships that run a decent amount of time. I know that my own has its moments. They are trials and determining if you pull through the other side is chosen my each other's patience. But for me, nothing cheers me up more than a surprise visit ^_^ Any way you could surprise her with a visit? Personally that would cheer me right up. Even if not permanent, it would most likely be a good restart switch.

EDIT: BTW, I know you do intend to try to get there, but what I mean is try to go there without her knowing. It might make some awkwardness if she already has some sort of plans for the day, but on the flip side its a pleasant surprise that goes a long way.

 

[AMCRambler]

Pretty much went through this with my girlfriend. She went to Spain for a semester. The phone conversations weren't quite so long as you can guess the long distance charges to Spain are ridiculous. So at least that made sure our phone conversations were good. It was rough being apart from her for so long but I just kept busy. All I can tell you is if you really dont have feelings for her any more, then break it off. If you still have feelings for her but you just dont have anything to talk about on the phone, well then shorten up the calls. You both shouldn't feel obligated to spend an hour on the phone with each other. Say what you've got to say and then hang up.
Something else you can do is go visit her. I went to see my girl in Spain, kind of a small vacation for me and she really appreciated it as she was so home sick.

 

[Walzber813]

I've been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years, we started dating in high school, and are now doing long distance since we are both attending different colleges. I will say that being apart is definetely hard at times, simply because over the phone isn't the best thing for either of us. I'll tell you what though. I love her, and I know that when I do get to be with her it's amazing and its worth all the hardship of having our relationship rely soly on the phone. She's transferring to my school next year, and I can't wait for that. I guess all I'm trying to say man, is that if you really love this girl, even though all the "sparks and butterflies" may not always be there, I can guarantee you that your both right where you should be