sjvlad

Member
Dec 7, 2005
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Ok, so a bit of backstory first. I've been dating this gal for a little over a year. We get along well, share a fair amount of the same interests, which is a step up from my previous girlfriend. She's good looking (but no pics, sorry :) )

In a month, she'll be moving away for school; it isn't too far though, only about 45 - 60 min drive. She wants to stay together and makes a bunch of plans for us to see each other all the time, but I am really thinking we should just end the relationship.

My reasons for this are not huge by themselves, but put together make me think it'd be a good idea. First off I'm 24 and she is only 20; not a huge age difference, but there is a definite spread in maturity between the two of us. If something upsets her, she will really make it known, grouching around or sitting there sulking instead of just sucking it up and making the best of the situation. She comes to pretty much every family function I've had in the last year and yet I've met her mother twice for about 5 min total and have never met her father. All of her friends have moved away for school, so the only person she hangs out with is me. And I think that's the real crux of it, if I was happy in the relationship I expect I would be happy to see her so much, but over half the time I'd rather just be alone or with my friends then spending time with her. And lastly, I just don't see the relationship going anywhere; in no way can I picture myself married to her, so it seems like it'd be better for both of us to end it.

So it seems I have 3 options:

1) Break up with her now, a month before she leaves for school.

2) Wait through the rest of summer, then break up with her once she moves. It's not as if I hate spending time with her, usually we will have a good time.

3) Explain the situation to her and let her choose.

If one of you had the envious job of being me, what would you do? :)



Cliffs:
Dated a girl for a little over a year
Not working out to my satisfaction
She leaves for school in a month
Break up with her before or after moving?
 

Darthvoy

Golden Member
Aug 3, 2004
1,825
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the best thing you can do is explain the situation to her. There is no need for you to prolong it
 

pinion9

Banned
May 5, 2005
1,201
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Cheat on her and keep her as backup booty call. Seriously, she will be an hour away. She won't know. And when you are down on your luck, hit her up for a visit.
 

SpecialEd

Platinum Member
Jul 18, 2001
2,110
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I'd say sooner is better than later, especially if she wants to make it last. You don't want to give her the wrong impression if shes making plans for visits and such.

edit: gammar
 

PCMarine

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 2002
3,277
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Originally posted by: pinion9
Cheat on her and keep her as backup booty call. Seriously, she will be an hour away. She won't know. And when you are down on your luck, hit her up for a visit.

ballsy move
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
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If you're going to end it, do it now. Give yourselves time to adjust to the change before school starts up again, because that will be a pretty stressful thing on its own.
 

sjvlad

Member
Dec 7, 2005
192
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Yeah, I guess I'll talk to her about it tonight and just get it done with. At least then it'll be a weight off my mind.



Originally posted by: pinion9
Cheat on her and keep her as backup booty call. Seriously, she will be an hour away. She won't know. And when you are down on your luck, hit her up for a visit.

Probably not a good idea :)

 

bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
7
0
Originally posted by: pinion9
Cheat on her and keep her as backup booty call. Seriously, she will be an hour away. She won't know. And when you are down on your luck, hit her up for a visit.


bwahahaha. Funny cuz its probably true in alot of cases.
 

Leeroy

Member
Jun 26, 2006
162
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Been there wit a couple of minor changes. Firstly. She lived 50 mins away right from the start. Secondly, it only took me six months to choose to end it, and I did that exactly a week ago. Best to do it now, so she has time to go through the emotional torment bfore she has to worry about studying.
 

sjvlad

Member
Dec 7, 2005
192
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Argh, I hate this part....

So what should I say? Something along the lines of "It's just not working for me as a relationship" "I'm not intersted in continuing this when you move away" "I think we work well together, but as friends, not as a couple"

(I should probably avoid the friend thing, huh, too cliche and played out.)

Anyone have any special lines they use that avoid some of the crying, since I know that's going to happen. =( I'm not very skilled at this, just about every other relationship was ended by the female half, my personal fav being because "God told her it was for the best" (she got very weird after that)
 

randay

Lifer
May 30, 2006
11,018
216
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Originally posted by: sjvlad
Ok, so a bit of backstory first. I've been dating this gal for a little over a year. We get along well, share a fair amount of the same interests, which is a step up from my previous girlfriend. She's good looking (but no pics, sorry :) )

/thread
 

Leeroy

Member
Jun 26, 2006
162
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I went with something along the lines of "I still love you, but I'm not in love with you any more. My feelings have changed, and while I still really care about you, it's more like a friend or a sister, than as a lover, I'm sorry."

Just whatever you do, don't dump and run. sit there and wait it out, and let her vent, or cry, or whatever.