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Originally posted by: Syrch
Whats it mean when everyone around you says to dump your SO but you don't have the heart to do so even if you may feel you should?
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cause they are your friends. PLus they are all banging her on the side and don't want you to get hurt.
 
It's foolish to rely on your friends for advice about your relationship. There's too much going on under the surface for anyone but you to make the decision whether to carry on or not.

With that said, be true to yourself. It's often a lot easier to stay in the relationship because of feelings of attachment or complacency, but in the end it's better for both of you to end it if you aren't right for each other.
 
Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: Syrch
Its hard to say, it feels like its not the right hting to do, to just give up on the relationship...
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So you're saying it's the relationship that 'everyone' objects to, not the person herself?
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Well most everyone finds her to be a really good person (except for my mother). So they don't necessarily object to her but they don't see us together.

Issues that some have with her are as follows:
1. She got pregnant and ended up havinga miscarriage. I left work early (with her) when she started to blotch and took her home asking her the entire way there if she wanted to see a doctor but she refused. I took a half day losing pay (which i didn't care about and still don't) and then stayed at my house with her not feeling well. I took her to her house around 9pm with her still blotching some. I called her at around 10pm as i was getting ready to lay down and she said she was feeling better and not to worry about her. I woke up at around 6pm and called her but I got no answer. Then at 6:45ish am i got a text message from her saying that she had a miscarriage and her friend (who i have yet to meet after 6 months of dating) took her to a hospital 35mins away when there is a hospital within 10 minutes of her house. She told me she didn't want me to be there b/c she didn't want to wake me up. Everyone seems to find this suspicious.

2. People say that I've changed and that I give more to the relationship than she does. When i talk to them i see what they are saying but when i'm with her i guess im blind to see it at those times.

3. She wants me to change. I have something that I hold when im asleep and I have since i was 3 years old. She pretty much wants me to throw the object away b/c she thinks that since i'll hold it and her i'm not sleeping with her. I happen to be most comfortable when i have the item and sleep better but she tells me it bothers her deep down and makes her feel like she is not enough. So she has told me for the last 4 months either put it away or the relationship is over.

4. She gets really "bitchy" when she doesn't get what she wants and won't stop until she gets what she wants. She was playing WOW and i was in the shower and I got a call that i had company coming over to play D&D. Well i needed to go to the local grocery store to get food. I said that I wanted her to come b/c i feel its rude to just leave someone as the house (especially being i have a roomate who isn't too fond of her). That wasn't enough of an explaination and got an attitude until i was willing to say stay and play wow (which this time i didn't to see what would happen and she was pissy the entire time).

I can list more but these are the things that are on my mind.
 
your GF plays wow?

a GF passed up SHOPPING? seriously ill pass it up, but my GF would never pass it up for food, she doesnt like clothe shopping though...

 
Quick note: I work for the largest corporate in the business I am in and I have been fortunate enough to have the company invest in me and have a unique opertunity to get to the top of the food chain. i do not judge people and never will but my SO hasn't acted on any of her "goals". She says she is going to do many things but has yet to act on any of them. This is another reason people don't see us well together.
 
Originally posted by: MIKEMIKE
your GF plays wow?

a GF passed up SHOPPING? seriously ill pass it up, but my GF would never pass it up for food, she doesnt like clothe shopping though...
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Well she is I suppose my EX G/f now as we got in another major fight about how I like to sleep and I just dont' want to fight anymore. But yes she does play wow(i got it for her) and she is hooked.

And she also loves to go shopping.

She told me yesterday that if I want to get back with her (we were just talking) I have to want to have more "fun" Go places and what not. I have been wanting too but thought she was happy with our routine. She is holding that over my head even though she never told me or hinted to me that she wanted to do anything.
 
Originally posted by: Syrch
Originally posted by: MIKEMIKE
your GF plays wow?

a GF passed up SHOPPING? seriously ill pass it up, but my GF would never pass it up for food, she doesnt like clothe shopping though...
Click to expand...

Well she is I suppose my EX G/f now as we got in another major fight about how I like to sleep and I just dont' want to fight anymore. But yes she does play wow(i got it for her) and she is hooked.

And she also loves to go shopping.

She told me yesterday that if I want to get back with her (we were just talking) I have to want to have more "fun" Go places and what not. I have been wanting too but thought she was happy with our routine. She is holding that over my head even though she never told me or hinted to me that she wanted to do anything.
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routines arent a good thing to get into in relationships.
 
Well she tells me that its just the way I sleep that was "tearing" us apart. And not only that but we have been going out for 6 months. I still pay for every outing we have. I now have an apartment I pay for. This has adding a crap load of expenses on my end and I can't afford to go out all the time.
 
Originally posted by: Syrch
Well she tells me that its just the way I sleep that was "tearing" us apart. And not only that but we have been going out for 6 months. I still pay for every outing we have. I now have an apartment I pay for. This has adding a crap load of expenses on my end and I can't afford to go out all the time.
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if you cant handle a relationship currently do NOT get into one.
 
Originally posted by: Syrch
Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: Syrch
Its hard to say, it feels like its not the right hting to do, to just give up on the relationship...
Click to expand...

So you're saying it's the relationship that 'everyone' objects to, not the person herself?
Click to expand...


Well most everyone finds her to be a really good person (except for my mother). So they don't necessarily object to her but they don't see us together.

Issues that some have with her are as follows:
1. She got pregnant and ended up havinga miscarriage. I left work early (with her) when she started to blotch and took her home asking her the entire way there if she wanted to see a doctor but she refused. I took a half day losing pay (which i didn't care about and still don't) and then stayed at my house with her not feeling well. I took her to her house around 9pm with her still blotching some. I called her at around 10pm as i was getting ready to lay down and she said she was feeling better and not to worry about her. I woke up at around 6pm and called her but I got no answer. Then at 6:45ish am i got a text message from her saying that she had a miscarriage and her friend (who i have yet to meet after 6 months of dating) took her to a hospital 35mins away when there is a hospital within 10 minutes of her house. She told me she didn't want me to be there b/c she didn't want to wake me up. Everyone seems to find this suspicious.

2. People say that I've changed and that I give more to the relationship than she does. When i talk to them i see what they are saying but when i'm with her i guess im blind to see it at those times.

3. She wants me to change. I have something that I hold when im asleep and I have since i was 3 years old. She pretty much wants me to throw the object away b/c she thinks that since i'll hold it and her i'm not sleeping with her. I happen to be most comfortable when i have the item and sleep better but she tells me it bothers her deep down and makes her feel like she is not enough. So she has told me for the last 4 months either put it away or the relationship is over.

4. She gets really "bitchy" when she doesn't get what she wants and won't stop until she gets what she wants. She was playing WOW and i was in the shower and I got a call that i had company coming over to play D&D. Well i needed to go to the local grocery store to get food. I said that I wanted her to come b/c i feel its rude to just leave someone as the house (especially being i have a roomate who isn't too fond of her). That wasn't enough of an explaination and got an attitude until i was willing to say stay and play wow (which this time i didn't to see what would happen and she was pissy the entire time).

I can list more but these are the things that are on my mind.
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wow, you and your GF have issues.... walk away man, walk away while you still can
 
Please just leave her.. She has problems.. If you don't leave, then you will pay rest of your life in anguish and pain..
 
Originally posted by: Papagayo
Please just leave her.. She has problems.. If you don't leave, then you will pay rest of your life in anguish and pain..
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You really think so?

The thing that bothers me most is she wants me to change yet she does three things i said were an instant turn off for me (smokes, swears like a sailor and has hardcore tatoos) all which i've come to accept all of them and never bring them up.
 
Originally posted by: Syrch
Quick note: I work for the largest corporate in the business I am in and I have been fortunate enough to have the company invest in me and have a unique opertunity to get to the top of the food chain. i do not judge people and never will but my SO hasn't acted on any of her "goals". She says she is going to do many things but has yet to act on any of them. This is another reason people don't see us well together.
Click to expand...

Do you love her?

 
Sounds to me like you have very nearly nothing in common with her, you're supporting her (or at least pouring a lot of money into the relationship), you're humoring and tolerating a lot of things you don't like, and she doesn't apprecciate any of what you're doing.

Besides, with the miscarriage thing, it sounds like she's keeping secrets too.

What are you getting out of the relationship again?

I'm not going to comment on the teddy bear (or whatever it is) - I've taken enough psychology to know that I don't know enough about your case to criticize you.
 
Originally posted by: Syrch
Originally posted by: Fraggable


What are you getting out of the relationship again?
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companionship?
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Well i guess you have to decide if the companionship is worth what you're giving. If it was me, I'd get out. There are plenty more people out there who will apprecciate you more than she is.
 
Originally posted by: Syrch
I love teh good times....i can't stand the bickering and complaining.
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No BS, ask yourself if you love her or not.

If you love her, then you accept her the way she is.

If you do not love her then it is time to kick her to the curb.

 
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