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yagt: ... yea i know, story inside (saga inside perhaps?) **updated! 8.11**
- Thread starter stev0
- Start date
Siddhartha
Lifer
She told you she has a boy friend and you did not get the message.
She sees you as a friend. Save her and yourself a lot problems and move on. There are a lot of other women out there who do not have boyfriends and want a relationship.
She sees you as a friend. Save her and yourself a lot problems and move on. There are a lot of other women out there who do not have boyfriends and want a relationship.
Corporate Thug
Lifer
hasnt kobe taught us anything? no means NO
WTF?! Seems like you are the "consolation prize" boyfriend. She is just "keeping you warmed up" until she knows for sure?! Thats fvcked up!! Anyways... none of us know the full story BUT at least she has been straight forward with you and hasn't been messing with your mind.
My suggestion to you: don't get too emotionally attached. Tell yourself there is the possibility that you are just a "tool" (someone who is used because you are socially maladjusted) [Check www.urbandictionary.com for definition]. There is the chance she likes being used for sex by her exboyfriend and will return to her exboyfriend. Also, if she were to go with you, it would probably be a rebound relationship. In which case, you will definitely become a "tool" and will bare unmeasureable consequences.
References:
1. The movie "Swingers". The main characters relationship was a "rebound" for 6 years. In the end, he got lucky and found a nice little bunny rabbit to get his bear claws on. This might not be the case with you. Note the 6 months of torture endured by the main character. This is typical of these types of relationships.
2. www.urbandictionary.com for various definitions of terms. (i.e. "Tool")
3. The school of "Have Pride In Yourself". Don't be the "consolation prize".
My suggestion to you: don't get too emotionally attached. Tell yourself there is the possibility that you are just a "tool" (someone who is used because you are socially maladjusted) [Check www.urbandictionary.com for definition]. There is the chance she likes being used for sex by her exboyfriend and will return to her exboyfriend. Also, if she were to go with you, it would probably be a rebound relationship. In which case, you will definitely become a "tool" and will bare unmeasureable consequences.
References:
1. The movie "Swingers". The main characters relationship was a "rebound" for 6 years. In the end, he got lucky and found a nice little bunny rabbit to get his bear claws on. This might not be the case with you. Note the 6 months of torture endured by the main character. This is typical of these types of relationships.
2. www.urbandictionary.com for various definitions of terms. (i.e. "Tool")
3. The school of "Have Pride In Yourself". Don't be the "consolation prize".
Have you "consummated" your relationship yet? If so she might be looking for something from you. like take the next step? move in together?
If not then I'm out of ideas
yea, and you might be her safety school. you know the one you tell "Yea I'm going to attend as soon as I get my paperwork straightened out" while you are secretly waiting for the acceptance package or rejection letter from schools you'd rather go to.
If not then I'm out of ideas
yea, and you might be her safety school. you know the one you tell "Yea I'm going to attend as soon as I get my paperwork straightened out" while you are secretly waiting for the acceptance package or rejection letter from schools you'd rather go to.
tell her how you feel, how you're uncomfortable with the whole situation...lay your cards out on the table...be open with her...if she accepts u, then great...if she dodges the question, reword your questions into yes or no answers...
your:
"you still interested in him?"
"is it possible you and he will get back together?"
her:
"well, blah blah blah blah"
you:
"it's a yes or no question and you still haven't answered it"
be straight up and forward, life's too short to deal with such BS...if it doesn't work out in your favor...as much as you care for her...drop her...ppl come and go in our lives, that's a fact...and majority of ppl will choose love/relationships over friends...yet another sad but true fact...i'm goin thru a semi-similar situation, so i'm preparing for the worst, negativity filling up your every emotional vein is something you don't deserve to deal with...no one does...
so if you feel things won't work out, squash it and carry on...if this happen, your most difficult task will be goin thru the motions of emotionally detaching yourself from her, even totally cutting her out of your life if necessary...stick to your guns, maintain your integrity and make sure your civil about it all by giving her the respect that she deserves as a friend by telling her that you have to cut her off and why....
good luck...
your:
"you still interested in him?"
"is it possible you and he will get back together?"
her:
"well, blah blah blah blah"
you:
"it's a yes or no question and you still haven't answered it"
be straight up and forward, life's too short to deal with such BS...if it doesn't work out in your favor...as much as you care for her...drop her...ppl come and go in our lives, that's a fact...and majority of ppl will choose love/relationships over friends...yet another sad but true fact...i'm goin thru a semi-similar situation, so i'm preparing for the worst, negativity filling up your every emotional vein is something you don't deserve to deal with...no one does...
so if you feel things won't work out, squash it and carry on...if this happen, your most difficult task will be goin thru the motions of emotionally detaching yourself from her, even totally cutting her out of your life if necessary...stick to your guns, maintain your integrity and make sure your civil about it all by giving her the respect that she deserves as a friend by telling her that you have to cut her off and why....
good luck...
If she hasn't gotten over her ex, then no amount of waiting/acting from you is going to make it happen. That's just how it is. You now have to decide if it's worth being "number two" for a while until she figures out what she wants (knowing full well the entire time that said want might not be you), or if you would rather move on.
You could be the world's most perfect guy, God's true gift to women, and she STILL wouldn't see you for what you are until she deals with her feelings for her ex. And there's absolutely nothing you can do to change that. It's something that she has to work out on her own.
You could be the world's most perfect guy, God's true gift to women, and she STILL wouldn't see you for what you are until she deals with her feelings for her ex. And there's absolutely nothing you can do to change that. It's something that she has to work out on her own.
i've been so sketch on telling her all that... i mean it's messed up things before, i am just worried that it would do the same here... but now that i spend time looking at it more, this whole deal is messed up.
i'm going to lay it down for her tonight and see what she says.
good idea...lay it all on the table, establish where you stand and what level she views you at...this way you can get closure on the issue and will know if you're wasting your time (in which case it's time to let her go) or if she truly has feelings for you...
remember...don't let her dodge your questions, reword to yes or no if necessary, but make sure you get your closure (very important!)...
good luck
Azraele
Elite Member
I think she needs to know her feelings toward this marine guy. It's a crossroads in her life that she either needs to shut the door on or attempt to take to a further level. Be supportive. It sounds like he's no good for her, but she needs to learn that for herself.
I would also let her know how you feel.
I would also let her know how you feel.
Siddhartha
Lifer
read it again ace:
cliff notes for yall adhd'ers
- boy meets girl
- boy parties w/ girl often
- boy started talking to girl, hanging out with her
- boy and girl hang out quite often, boy is getting it for girl
- boy gives girl flowers on bday, girl explains she is hellbent on her ex
- boy dosent give up
- boy and girl get closer towards end of summer
- girl mentions her ex will be done with military service in oct. and plans a trip to see him
- boy feels like crying in a corner
- boy dosen't know what to do, comes here asking the great and powerful for words of wisdom
end cliff notes
tl;dr i know i know, sorry for the saga.
thanks for reading
Hey Ace
He wrote:
"boy dosent give up"
Which I read to mean he, thread's author, after being told by the woman that she still loves her ex, is still holding on.
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