YAGT: Why is the right thing to do always the hardest ?

[SCSIfreek]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek
Polm,

Just to let you know, true love don't come by easily. Treasure it and grab it whenever you have the chance. Feeling sorry for yourself later on in life will get you no where. Ask yourself this question, will you stay for this women? Another thing, how old are you?

--Scsi

I think that if it was meant to be...it will happen. I don't know how/when/where...but if we are meant to be together it will work out. I hope.

well, if you believe in those crap as faith, you will be sorry. Never let things be the way it will be if you can "MAKE IT" the way you "wanted" to be. Take control of the wheels if you can. Life is short...get the most out of it.

 

[crazygal]

How about not being a jerk and breaking up with the girlfriend you have now seeing as how you OBVIOUSLY don't love as much as you should.

If you're with someone, but want to be with someone else, then don't hurt the girl you're with even more by stringing her along for the ride.

 

[SCSIfreek]

Originally posted by: crazygal
How about not being a jerk and breaking up with the girlfriend you have now seeing as how you OBVIOUSLY don't love as much as you should.

If you're with someone, but want to be with someone else, then don't hurt the girl you're with even more by stringing her along for the ride.

Please note, I assumed he was dating(nothing serious) at the present time. two timers are never excepted in my books.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: SCSIfreek

Originally posted by: crazygal
How about not being a jerk and breaking up with the girlfriend you have now seeing as how you OBVIOUSLY don't love as much as you should.

If you're with someone, but want to be with someone else, then don't hurt the girl you're with even more by stringing her along for the ride.

Please note, I assumed he was dating(nothing serious) at the present time. two timers are never excepted in my books.

yes...I am DATING not GF/BF with the current woman.

 

[polm]

This is driving me CRAZY !!!

I can't stop thinking about her.....I am horrified that she will heed my advice and take her current relationship to a more serious level.

I know that she needs to stay with the guy she is with...he is stable, and he isn't leaving the country. I am sure he is a great guy.

But it just hurts so bad to realize that my chance to be with her is over....

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: polm
This is driving me CRAZY !!!

I can't stop thinking about her.....I am horrified that she will heed my advice and take her current relationship to a more serious level.

I know that she needs to stay with the guy she is with...he is stable, and he isn't leaving the country. I am sure he is a great guy.

But it just hurts so bad to realize that my chance to be with her is over....

I say its never over until shes married.

Why do people forsake their feelings for someone elses?

You know you will be happy with her. I would go with it if I felt so strongly about her. You only live once. Make the most of it.

If your feeling the way you are with when your dating your current girl what do you think you will feel when your *married* or when shes *married*? I bet you will feel even worse or by that you may have totally forgotten her and don't care.

You don't *have* to leave for Israel do you now? Could you possibly delay it for a few months?

I would definately tell her what you are feeling and let her have her say. I wouldn't leave without telling her.

This girl is the girl you have been waiting for.

btw why did you split with her in the first place if thats an alright question to ask?

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Koing

I say its never over until shes married.

Why do people forsake their feelings for someone elses?

You know you will be happy with her. I would go with it if I felt so strongly about her. You only live once. Make the most of it.

If your feeling the way you are with when your dating your current girl what do you think you will feel when your *married* or when shes *married*? I bet you will feel even worse or by that you may have totally forgotten her and don't care.

You don't *have* to leave for Israel do you now? Could you possibly delay it for a few months?

I would definately tell her what you are feeling and let her have her say. I wouldn't leave without telling her.

This girl is the girl you have been waiting for.

btw why did you split with her in the first place if thats an alright question to ask?

I can't delay the trip...I am already signed up and payed for a Language program that starts August 24th.

We broke up because the long distance thing was too hard on the relationship. But we have never stopped talking.

I think I will tell her how I feel...but I just don't want to hurt her, or make things harder for her.

My language program is only 6 months...if I thought she would be willing to wait for me, I would ask her too. But maybe that is unfair of me to ask.

 

[A5]

n/m

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: A5
n/m

never mind ?

 

[Koing]

We broke up because the long distance thing was too hard on the relationship. But we have never stopped talking.

I think I will tell her how I feel...but I just don't want to hurt her, or make things harder for her.

My language program is only 6 months...if I thought she would be willing to wait for me, I would ask her too. But maybe that is unfair of me to ask.

DEFINATELY tell her. Don't think about it. Just tell. I don't know about you people but there are some things in life that I just need to have out. And my feelings for a girl is just that. I could not go on without telling a girl how I felt about her if something drastic was going to happen. It would drive me insane.

I don't think it will hurt for her or make it harder. I reckon she wants to hear it from you also but doesn't want to initiate it for the reason that you *may* not feel the same. Everyone has these fears.

6 months is alright. If you didn't tell her those 6 months would be longer.......

Are you coming back after the 6 months or permanently staying in Israel?

 

[polm]

DEFINATELY tell her. Don't think about it. Just tell. I don't know about you people but there are some things in life that I just need to have out. And my feelings for a girl is just that. I could not go on without telling a girl how I felt about her if something drastic was going to happen. It would drive me insane.

I don't think it will hurt for her or make it harder. I reckon she wants to hear it from you also but doesn't want to initiate it for the reason that you *may* not feel the same. Everyone has these fears.

6 months is alright. If you didn't tell her those 6 months would be longer.......

Are you coming back after the 6 months or permanently staying in Israel?

I would come back for her...thats what I plan on telling her.

If she tells me there is no chance that she will wait for me....then I will probably stay in Israel forever.

 

[KeyserSoze]

Dude, I LIVE in Knox Vegas. Where's she at....I'll take real good care of her

(haha, just kidding.)


You know it's the right thing. Keep telling yourself that, and move on. That's all you can do really. No easy way around it.





KeyserSoze

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: KeyserSoze
Dude, I LIVE in Knox Vegas. Where's she at....I'll take real good care of her

(haha, just kidding.)


You know it's the right thing. Keep telling yourself that, and move on. That's all you can do really. No easy way around it.





KeyserSoze

damn....ATOT is sorta split on this one. Some say tell her...some say don't.

Maybe I should make a poll ?

 

[AreaCode707]

If you decide to tell her, I'd recommend writing a letter. That takes the pressure off of her to come up with an immediate response and gives her time to think about it. It may help you make sure you're saying exactly what you want to say too.

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: polm

damn....ATOT is sorta split on this one. Some say tell her...some say don't.

Maybe I should make a poll ?

Do you think you really want to stay in Israel knowing you didn't tell her? I think the majority here say tell her.

Either way good luck.

Me personally I'd tell her and have her say what she wanted. Sometimes the impluse of it all you end up saying what is right or even better. Or it may come out horribly wrong (Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber when he was telling that woman he wanted to make sweet sweet love to her school children lol instead of telling her he wanted to make love to her)

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: HotChic
If you decide to tell her, I'd recommend writing a letter. That takes the pressure off of her to come up with an immediate response and gives her time to think about it. It may help you make sure you're saying exactly what you want to say too.

That was my first idea....I think I will go with the letter.

 

[Yeeny]

Just make sure you tell her how you feel, whether its in a letter, or in person. Too many people hold their feelings inside, and end up ruining their lives, because of reasons they think are the right ones. If you love someone, don't ever hesitate to tell them so. Even if you still leave, at least she has that to remember you by.

Good luck, you sound like a very sweet guy, no wonder she cares for you so much.

 

[polm]

thanks for all the advice AT.

I plan on writing the letter tonight, and I'll send it to her tomorow....I just hope she doesn't get too upset.

 

[polm]

then again...I have never actually told her that I "love" her.

Is a letter the proper place to say this ?

 

[FlashCW]

well after reading this whole thing and switching computers to get my metaphorical voice heard(yea...the other one had aol-please don't flame), i hope it doesn't go unnoticed. my father once told me to "do what's best for you." and it's actually a lot harder than it may sound.

imo i think it'd be unfair of u to leave without telling her how u felt. and it's be even more unfair to tell her right before u leave. i would highly suggest telling her and give her the longest time possible to think about it before u leave. u said u think she has these same feelings for u, if so then she'd be willing to wait. and if ur willing to give up israel(sp?) for her, she should be willing to let u.

granted, this is all taking into considerationg the infromation u have provided. why r u going? is that reason more important than her? which will make u happiest? this is ur life, it's supposed to be about u. ur allowed to be selfish(just try not fighting with an old lady over an apple at the market.)

but before u make up ur mind, don't choose what one person here said. think about it all. think about where eachof us is coming from and the different views we all have. open ur mind. open ur heart. sorry for it being so long, and very sappy there at the end, ugh, i'm turning into a woman...that's all for now

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: FlashCW
well after reading this whole thing and switching computers to get my metaphorical voice heard(yea...the other one had aol-please don't flame), i hope it doesn't go unnoticed. my father once told me to "do what's best for you." and it's actually a lot harder than it may sound.

imo i think it'd be unfair of u to leave without telling her how u felt. and it's be even more unfair to tell her right before u leave. i would highly suggest telling her and give her the longest time possible to think about it before u leave. u said u think she has these same feelings for u, if so then she'd be willing to wait. and if ur willing to give up israel(sp?) for her, she should be willing to let u.

granted, this is all taking into considerationg the infromation u have provided. why r u going? is that reason more important than her? which will make u happiest? this is ur life, it's supposed to be about u. ur allowed to be selfish(just try not fighting with an old lady over an apple at the market.)

but before u make up ur mind, don't choose what one person here said. think about it all. think about where eachof us is coming from and the different views we all have. open ur mind. open ur heart. sorry for it being so long, and very sappy there at the end, ugh, i'm turning into a woman...that's all for now

thanks Flash. I am doing my best to take in everyone's advice. I think the basic concencus (sp?) is that I should tell her how I feel. I am just not sure how/when to do it. But I am leaning towards sooner than later.

I guess I would be wrong to just assume that she feels the same way...but from things she sais and things she does, really give me the feeling like she is on the same page that I am.

I am still not sure how I will tell her. Maybe a letter...maybe a phone call...maybe I will wait till she gets in town at the end of May.

I am just scared....scared of rejection...scared of her saying she loves me too....scared of the idea of waiting 6 months....

But I have to go to Israel...it has been a life-long dream of mine, as a Jew, to return to my home land. I want to give back to Israel...which is why I am going to work on a kibbutz out there.

I just know that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with....but with the situation like it is, I am afraid to put her through the torment of my leaving and her having to wait for my return. She is very scared of what may happen to me in Isarel (with all the current fighting going on), and I don't want her worrying every day.

 

[sohdahere]

Why is the right thing to do always the hardest ?

Coz theres only one right thing to do and many wrong ones.

 

[FlashCW]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: FlashCW
well after reading this whole thing and switching computers to get my metaphorical voice heard(yea...the other one had aol-please don't flame), i hope it doesn't go unnoticed. my father once told me to "do what's best for you." and it's actually a lot harder than it may sound.

imo i think it'd be unfair of u to leave without telling her how u felt. and it's be even more unfair to tell her right before u leave. i would highly suggest telling her and give her the longest time possible to think about it before u leave. u said u think she has these same feelings for u, if so then she'd be willing to wait. and if ur willing to give up israel(sp?) for her, she should be willing to let u.

granted, this is all taking into considerationg the infromation u have provided. why r u going? is that reason more important than her? which will make u happiest? this is ur life, it's supposed to be about u. ur allowed to be selfish(just try not fighting with an old lady over an apple at the market.)

but before u make up ur mind, don't choose what one person here said. think about it all. think about where eachof us is coming from and the different views we all have. open ur mind. open ur heart. sorry for it being so long, and very sappy there at the end, ugh, i'm turning into a woman...that's all for now

thanks Flash. I am doing my best to take in everyone's advice. I think the basic concencus (sp?) is that I should tell her how I feel. I am just not sure how/when to do it. But I am leaning towards sooner than later.

I guess I would be wrong to just assume that she feels the same way...but from things she sais and things she does, really give me the feeling like she is on the same page that I am.

I am still not sure how I will tell her. Maybe a letter...maybe a phone call...maybe I will wait till she gets in town at the end of May.

I am just scared....scared of rejection...scared of her saying she loves me too....scared of the idea of waiting 6 months....

But I have to go to Israel...it has been a life-long dream of mine, as a Jew, to return to my home land. I want to give back to Israel...which is why I am going to work on a kibbutz out there.

I just know that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with....but with the situation like it is, I am afraid to put her through the torment of my leaving and her having to wait for my return. She is very scared of what may happen to me in Isarel (with all the current fighting going on), and I don't want her worrying every day.

the important thing isn't how u tell her, it's that u tell her. someone here i believe has already said that, i'll go back and edit in their name later(give credit where credit's due)

i totally understand being scared, of both rejection and(would it be acceptence?). but if u think about it there r other alternatives where u can have ur cake and eat it too(i just always love saying that.) ur 24, u've still got a lot of time. of course live life to the fullest, by the day, etc...how long does it take to work on a kibbutz? maybe after u 2 get together after the 6 months and u both love eachother enough to get married, she'll go with u. and during the time working on ur kibbutz(my new favorite word...u'll have to tell me wat that means[and how to pronounce it]) u can save for a house/kids/college for polm jr.

so today's lesson(which i should take myself) is this: plan for tomorrow, but live for today.