YAGT: Why did I just call her ???

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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OK..so I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago. She basically blew me off for a couple weeks and then when I finally confronted her she told me she was scared of the commitment, and that she still loved me and saw a future for us down the road.

I got really upset...called a bunch (she ignored most of my calls)...and finally I wrote her a really really nasty email this past sunday.

Today I woke up from a dream I had about her and me getting back together.

I called her at her house...she answered and was very short with me and told me she had to go get ready for class.

I asked "Is there any chance for us , after that horrible email I sent",

she said "Well..it was pretty damn mean"

I said " I am sorry I was very mad and upset...but do you think we still have a chance"

she said "I don't know, I gotta go, I will call you later".

I am pretty sure she won't call. I am pretty sure that I will. Why must I torture myself like this ???
Why would she say "I don't know" . Why not just tell me that their is no way. Am I just looking for any reason to beleive this is not over ?
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: richardycc
why would she burn her bridge, you are her backup plan.

yes...but clearly she will let me walk away and not try to even hold me back. I mean..if I don't call her, she will NEVER call me. I am sure of that. What kind of backup is that ?
 

isaacmacdonald

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2002
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pwned. but I'd chalk it up to inexperience. I did the same thing with my first college gf. how embarrasing.
 

Mr N8

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2001
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The backup is that she doesn't care what you do, but if she ever feels she wants you back, she knows she hasn't completely severed things by leaving the "down the road" option open.

Move on. Find someone better, and live a happy life.
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: VictorLazlo
Were you pushing for more commitment before the breakup?

actually it had developed over the summer (we hung out everyday, and spent every night together). Before school started we went to New York for a week together.

She was proclaiming she Loved me. She would hang out with my parents. She was telling me how she knew I was the one..bla bla bla.

Then when she got to school she starts getting distant. I told her I was willing to change the format of our relationship...but she just told me she needed to focus on school.
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: minendo
Face it man. You are a tool. You broke up with a girl by email.

no she broke up with ME via email. the email I sent last sunday was based on the fact that she kept blowing me off on the phone, and never followed up on her promises to call me back.
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: ndee
what about that other one? You started about one bazillion YAGTs about her.

we have been hanging out a lot lately. She is still with her other boyfriend...but apparently they are having problems.

Either way, I have had to move on from her. This new girl was my rebound..I guess. And I ended up moving all that emotion from the old girl onto her. That is why I am having trouble with this break up.....I think.
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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I just feel like such a dumb-a$$ for calling.

Im sure I will never really get back together with this new girl. But I have just moved home from Israel..I don't have a job yet...Im living at my parents house...and all my girl/guy friends are in relationships...and I am just feeling so gosh darn lonely.
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
3,183
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Originally posted by: ndee
How long did you stay in Israel? 3 days?

1.5 months. I was right down the street from a suicide bombing in J'lem and my family started to freak out. So I came home.
 

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,929
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You need to let her go and move on. How many girls are there at your college? That's what I thought, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and go enjoy your college years. Time's a ticking, and you have ALOT of drinking to do at the bar tonight.
 

VictorLazlo

Senior member
Jul 23, 2003
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Originally posted by: polm
Originally posted by: VictorLazlo
Were you pushing for more commitment before the breakup?

actually it had developed over the summer (we hung out everyday, and spent every night together). Before school started we went to New York for a week together.

She was proclaiming she Loved me. She would hang out with my parents. She was telling me how she knew I was the one..bla bla bla.

Then when she got to school she starts getting distant. I told her I was willing to change the format of our relationship...but she just told me she needed to focus on school.

Sounds like she has her eye on someone at school.
 

imported_Papi

Platinum Member
Nov 15, 2002
2,413
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maybe it was your true colours she saw in that e-mail and now wants nothing to do with you.

I suggest you paste the sent e-mail here for us to rip on.
 

Aharami

Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
21,294
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is she worth it man? i mean whats so good about her that u cant find in other women?
 

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,929
142
106
Originally posted by: polm
Originally posted by: VictorLazlo
Were you pushing for more commitment before the breakup?

actually it had developed over the summer (we hung out everyday, and spent every night together). Before school started we went to New York for a week together.

She was proclaiming she Loved me. She would hang out with my parents. She was telling me how she knew I was the one..bla bla bla.

Then when she got to school she starts getting distant. I told her I was willing to change the format of our relationship...but she just told me she needed to focus on school.

Ok, you told her you were willing to change the "format" of the relationship??? It's not like reformatting your hard drive, lol. That was just a little too geeky for me, and I'm sure most girls would agree!

Basically, if she's far away at a college, and you're not there, then she's getting the pipe from someone else... that simple. Younger college girls don't want to act grown up yet and have to take responsibility for a long distance relationship, they'd rather lay on their backs and enjoy their last years of looking desirable before the wrinkles and cellulite hits at about 26. I.E., they want instant gratification now and if and only if, they find the perfect man they've dreamed about, maybe they'll start a relationship. If it's not the man of their dreams per se, then the next best thing is instant gratification or a f buddy. If they can't even get that, then they'll go for the long distance relationship-with-the-guy-who-isn't-my-dream-come-true-but-I'll-have-to-work-with-the-cards-life-has-dealt-me-until-I-find-the-one. Look on the bright side, if you date a fat ugly chick you will be in the "man of my dreams" category for them, and be worthy of a long distance relationship.

Now call up all of your good friends, and get trashed tonight now that you're cognizant of how this game *really* works.
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
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god...I wish I was still in college...I would go meet someone right now.

Unfortunately I am not in school....I don't have a job, yet.....I am living at my parents house temporarily....and all my friends work or go to school and don't want to party on the weekdays.

Basically I have all day every day to mope, ponder, and feel really really lonely.
 

crisp82

Golden Member
Apr 8, 2002
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been there, done that, got the emotional scars....hence the sig :p

the reason you called her is because you are a mug to yourself.
 

isaacmacdonald

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2002
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Originally posted by: polm
god...I wish I was still in college...I would go meet someone right now.

Unfortunately I am not in school....I don't have a job, yet.....I am living at my parents house temporarily....and all my friends work or go to school and don't want to party on the weekdays.

Basically I have all day every day to mope, ponder, and feel really really lonely.


ohh man. I hear that. the transition from college to real life is one of the toughest
 

polm

Diamond Member
May 24, 2001
3,183
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Originally posted by: crisp82
been there, done that, got the emotional scars....hence the sig :p

the reason you called her is because you are a mug to yourself.

what do you mean "a mug" ?