Here's the story, I'll keep it short to avoid cliffs.
about 2 years ago, I worked with a girl for a few weeks at a restaurant. I was very attracted to her and was about to ask her out when she quit suddenly (reason is unimportant). Forgot about her and life went on for 2 years. A few weeks ago I ran into her at a local restaurant where she's now working and she seemed very interested immideately. We emailed a few times and she gave me her #, etc. I visited her at work once or twice (It should be noted here that on her myspace it said she was in a relationship, and when I said something about it in an email she said 'he's never there for me and I don't know how long it's going to last'). I went on a 2-week vacation and on my way back told her I wanted to know if she'd go on a date with me. She said, and I qoute, 'I care for you dearly' and then went on to say she's still seeing him but is not really happy with the relationship but doesn't feel like it's right to leave him because she still loves him. I replied and said ok, We can be friends but I want to know the second you become single. She said ok. She is moving about 1 hour away to college in a few weeks and I have a feeling that's going to kill her relationship because she's said a few times that he never makes an effort to see her. BTW, she rides horses in competitions and fairs and such and asked me if I'd like to go see her horse and go riding sometime before she left. I said yes.
My question after reading the ladder theory is, what ladder am I on? We are friends now but I really think she would have gone on the date if she wasn't already with the other guy. Her reasons for not leaving him are partly grounded in the Christian religion we share in which it would be wrong to leave a 1.5 year relationship just because someone 'better' came along. I really think that if her relationship does end that she'll let me know.
if it matters to anyone, I'm 21 and she's 18.
about 2 years ago, I worked with a girl for a few weeks at a restaurant. I was very attracted to her and was about to ask her out when she quit suddenly (reason is unimportant). Forgot about her and life went on for 2 years. A few weeks ago I ran into her at a local restaurant where she's now working and she seemed very interested immideately. We emailed a few times and she gave me her #, etc. I visited her at work once or twice (It should be noted here that on her myspace it said she was in a relationship, and when I said something about it in an email she said 'he's never there for me and I don't know how long it's going to last'). I went on a 2-week vacation and on my way back told her I wanted to know if she'd go on a date with me. She said, and I qoute, 'I care for you dearly' and then went on to say she's still seeing him but is not really happy with the relationship but doesn't feel like it's right to leave him because she still loves him. I replied and said ok, We can be friends but I want to know the second you become single. She said ok. She is moving about 1 hour away to college in a few weeks and I have a feeling that's going to kill her relationship because she's said a few times that he never makes an effort to see her. BTW, she rides horses in competitions and fairs and such and asked me if I'd like to go see her horse and go riding sometime before she left. I said yes.
My question after reading the ladder theory is, what ladder am I on? We are friends now but I really think she would have gone on the date if she wasn't already with the other guy. Her reasons for not leaving him are partly grounded in the Christian religion we share in which it would be wrong to leave a 1.5 year relationship just because someone 'better' came along. I really think that if her relationship does end that she'll let me know.
if it matters to anyone, I'm 21 and she's 18.
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