YAGT: What's the best way to handle this?

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: TechnoPro
I once met a girl from Craigslist. We went out, and I just could not find her attractive despite lots of drinks. So I went back on Craigslist and chatted up a new girl about a week later. Turns out she was best friends of the previous chick. Small-fvcking world, right?

Anyhow, she was like "I don't want to hurt my friend by going out with you, but you and I can be friends." So I tell her I have plenty of friends and I don't need my time wasted if she doesn't plan on going out with me. My display of not caring, perhaps reverse psychology, who knows, but since I was the one now rejecting her, that pushed her to want to see me.

Date went horrible and I was depressed for a week, but that's another story. Morale: it is possible to break out of the "let's be friends" box.

Possible, but don't hope on it. No big deal. Plenty of girls out there to date.

 

[Stiganator]

I'm honestly quite surprised by the mature-ish responses I've gotten. Good Job ATOT!

 

[HardcoreRobot]

1 if she has cute friends (though you actually have to make the transition of thinking her of a friend - not keep trying to do her - this is hard for guys)

2 in all other cases

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: Stiganator
what's the best way to handle the old, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just want to be friends. " at date 3.

1) Yeah, cool let's be friends.

2) Cya!

Is there a good way to determine if this going to happen right off the bat, should I put forth the disclaimer of, "Hey if you have no desire to actually go out then don't take me up on my offer."

Thoughts?

I read this in a book - "I'm open minded enough to give a friend a chance, based on knowing that some of the strongest relationships start as friendships"

I've been there often enough to know how it hurts, so I feel for you. How to know in advance? Well, body language is one way. But let's not get into mind reading.. If you try to kiss her and you get that talk then say what I just mentioned or cut her off... don't be that sap (the sap that I usually am)

lol that's euphemism for "I couldn't get anyone else this whole time so I guess I'll settle for your sorry ass."

 

[Blazin Trav]

Tell her it's okay, I understand you are a slut anyways.

This will make you feel better and futhur justify that you are a man when you snag the next girl.

 

[Alienwho]

That's happened to me a few times, and everytime it did I said "I don't need anymore friends." and sure enough in the next 24 hours I get a call saying they're sorry and want to be more than friends. Problem is by the time that that happens i'm already in the mind set of not wanting that girl anymore. Yeah I move on REAL quick.

 

[dirtboy]

I suppose if you're desperate for friends you go with #1. Having a whiney girl call you to tell you about her bf is probably not good. I wouldn't know, because I always go with option #2.

 

[Pepsei]

you failed on the first date, did you even escalate anything at all? like touching her hands and stuff?
i hope you didn't pay too much for these 'dates'. you got ripped from the very start.

 

[kt]

She says that at date #3? That's bs.

 

[Sqube]

#2 is clearly the only real option in this situation.

 

[Stiganator]

I'd say the first date went pretty well considering she spent the night with me, no I didn't spend too much or any money on the dates really, things I would normally do.

 

[Stiganator]

well I talked to her a little bit more and it seems she's stuck up on some ex that's like 15 hours away. Pretty weak, but what ever. She's a nice enough girl and there's plenty of me to go around if she wants some later.

 

[rgwalt]

Do you want to be friends with her? If so, go with option 1. If not, then take a pass. Just because you dated doesn't obligate you to be her friend.

R