YAGT: What should I do?

[bunker]

Hi Roger

Seriously though, any parents here have experience with temper tantrums? My 17 month old daughter (the G in YAGT ) recently started throwing herself on the ground and screaming and crying if she doesn't get what she wants. We don't give in to her, but feel like crap when she's balling her head off.

They tend to only last for a couple minutes but my wife said one lasted about 7 minutes last night.

I know there arent' that many parents here, but any input, IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THIS, would be nice.

 

[psydancerqt]

reward her when she behaves by asking nicely or not throwing a fit.

 

[Red Dawn]

Valium

 

[bunker]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Valium

Nahh, we save that for bed time

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: psydancerqt
reward her when she behaves by asking nicely or not throwing a fit.

Wrong...bzzzzzt

don't reward good behaviour. Good behaviour should be the expected norm. Reward achievements, yes, but not just everyday good behaviour.

As for temper tantrums, let her throw it. Even if it's in a public place. Well, if it's beginning to annoy others, pick her up and take her outside or even to the car and put her in her car seat. Do NOT give in to a tantrum. WORST thing to do!

 

I encountered this with my little guy, ignore her when she acts like this, this will cure her of her tantrums, try it, it works well

 

[m2kewl]

get out the belt. moronic acts by your daughter need to be addressed firmly!

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: bunker

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Valium

Nahh, we save that for bed time

For you when she throws a temper tantrum!

 

[freakflag]

The trick here is not to validate her behavior by caving. You need to be firm but gentle.

Don't beat her with coat hanger, but, don't buy her Jaguar either.

You're looking for something in the middle.


Or Valium.

 

[bunker]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: bunker

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Valium

Nahh, we save that for bed time

For you when she throws a temper tantrum!

Beer and and a shot is enough for me

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: bunker

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Valium

Nahh, we save that for bed time

For you when she throws a temper tantrum!

lol

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: freakflag
The trick here is not to validate her behavior by caving. You need to be firm but gentle..

Isn't "firm but gentle" like saying, "You have to yell but whisper"?

 

[Jzero]

My gf's mom used to throw water in her face.
My parents would just let me kick and scream until I wore myself out.

Either way, DO NOT give in!!!

 

[TekChik]

Originally posted by: Roger
I encountered this with my little guy, ignore her when she acts like this, this will cure her of her tantrums, try it, it works well

I'm with Roger:

My (now) 3 yr old daughter is VERY stubborn and she started doing this about that age, too. I COMPLETELY ignored her, didn't even look at her when she was doing it. AND, I did NOT go to her, even when she was done. She'd come up to me and I'd act like nothing happened - "Hi Sweetie...wanna read a book?".

It lasted about a month, until she figured out that it gained her nothing.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[y2kc]

ignore the child. or scare them so badly they wouldn't think of doing it again. worked for me.

 

[Ulfwald]

Ignore her, do not validate this behavior by acknowledging it.

My son has started them early. and all we do is gently enforce that this is not acceptable behavior by either ignoring him, or gently telling him NO.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Valium

for the child or for him

 

[Ness]

My parents always went to extremes. I threw a fit one time in a store because I wanted a toy or something, they bought the toy, then we drove it over the homeless shelter and gave it some needy kid.

I guess I learned from that.

It became apparent to me after things like this happened that there is a difference between needing something and wanting something. When they started me on an allowance system I never wasted my money to stupid crap. I think I was the only kid in my school who managed to save his 2 dollar a week allowance long enough without squandering it on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to buy a Super Nintendo. ROCK ON!

Now it really doesn't matter to me, I suppose. I'm better at holding out buying things and realizing I didn't need it in the first place than most people I suppose.

 

[PunDogg]

when you ask her to do something, and she doesn;t do it, you throw a tantrum hehe just reward her when she does good, and don;t let in to the tantrums

Dogg

 

[notfred]

Give her a spanking and put her to bed when she does that.

 

[Azraele]

Don't give in to her. Do it once, and then she'll know she can do it again.

Try positive reinforcement. When she behaves, reward her. The idea is that it's a good way to promote good behavior.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: ness1469
My parents always went to extremes. I threw a fit one time in a store because I wanted a toy or something, they bought the toy, then we drove it over the homeless shelter and gave it some needy kid.

I guess I learned from that.

Thats a good idea, may want to try it.

But as said before, be firm but gentle. Firm as in not giving in, and gentle as in not screaming in her face to the point where she cries not because she is sorry but because of your breath

Just don't give in...

 

[Hammer]

tell her the big bad TGG will get her if she's not good

 

[PanzerIV]

I remember a few 'let the kid scream' lessons. Once after we left Walmart where it was just me and my son that day he had wanted some toy I wouldn't buy. Needless to say he was whining and crying and I had planned a trip to my parents that day which was a good forty minutes away at the time.
I figured any minute he would tire out and stop so on I drove like a trooper with him carrying on in the back seat. Ok, I thought, he's gonna stop I again assured myself . Nope. He cried the entire forty minute trip and when I arrived at my parent's I was ready to tear my hair out and run screaming into the woods.

The second most noteable occurence was at Disney World of all places. He wanted a lollipop and after a tiring day with the mouse we were on those ferries that carry you back to the other side of Disney World across the lake where you can get on the trolly. The entire way across he cried over and over how he wanted that lollilop. I resolved I would ignore him and not give in especially since I was already stressed out enough from arguing with the wife! (Sounds like a great trip, eh?).

Morale of story:

Waiting them out is sometimes more stressful on the parent than the kid

 

[Yax]

My son's the worst. He'll cry and fall to the floor. When I ignore him, he'll bang his nose on the carpet till it bleeds. That sucks. Then I have to wipe the carpet and wipe his nose in the bathroom.

Now, as soon as he starts, I just run the hell out of the house. Saying, "bye!, I'll see you later".

I learned that he stops as soon as I'm out of sight. Whew, something that works.